Waiting for the beauty of life. 💞☯️💐

I cannot tell how much I feel the need to know new people, some good and lively energy. The people among whom you can set your own worth standards and they actually meet them; people with whom you can talk freely about anything and everything, and even silence feels very comfortable; people with whom you can roam around freely not having any hard and fast rule about what “kind” of place you like or not; people with whom you can go for meals in your night suit or maybe cook one together; people with whom you don’t feel judged for being completely yourself as weird, strange or awkward; people to whom your history doesn’t matter but those who still consider past and future and do not be fickle by staying only in the “now” or “in the moment”; people who know the meaning of real reciprocity, and do not only brag about what they do for you rather be acknowledging and thankful for what you do for them as well; people who love to learn and are curious to learn to love are my kind of people that I am so eagerly waiting for.

☯️

People say “Get married not when you need to, but when you are ready.”
Honestly, I am never ready. 😂
If it’s love, it can end up in marriage; or I am not looking for it at all.

“Knot the tie,

Not tie the knot.”

🤣

I will probably have a big family of in-laws and a silly hubby of whose we all can pull leg, or they will pull that of mine for being too serious sometimes, but okay, I am looking forward to pull his leg more.

Mind gripped.

That one tip tracing my every nerve

Pushing me closer to the heaven

Leaving a trail

Making a map

Of his desire

Over my flushed skin

And ruling my mind

Leaving between us

no gap..

Unshakeable commitment is my biggest need.

Just imagine,

You have met with an accident. Your face has gotten disfigured, body paralyzed, you cannot speak (or cannot speak well), mentally you have become abnormal, you are losing money(for sure) now, you are unable to do any job or business. Who is going to stay with you now?? Ever thought about it??

When people ask me what I am looking for in a partner??

My answer is, this kind of Unshakeable commitment beyond any superficiality or impressiveness; because I know that I will stand by my partner in such a condition without any kind of physical,mental, or emotional cheating; but I highly doubt that anyone else can or will do that for me in the same condition.

And, those who could not stand by my side while I have been still working perfectly fine physically, mentally, socially and financially, should have elimininated any possibility of a re-union with me by now; but their egoism is so high that they think that they can revert back any time as they would please to (what the fuck??).

It does not mean that other things do not matter, they do, to live life happily and peacefully, and for growing together but this is something that cannot be compromised.

Enjoy the show.

When a few people are confused between two people in the matter of courtship, one of those two being me, I love to take a note who all those chasers are, recede back and see who is going to win over that other person.

Because “If I don’t like to play the game, at least, I can enjoy watching it.” 😛🤣

And I keep that in mind that I don’t have to be with any of them. Because why?

Strange but a beautiful dream that felt so real.

It is one of those dreams, those vivid ones that I can feel in real and see or feel very clearly. I am feeling joy, excitement and awkwardness all at the same time sharing it here. I saw it between 4-5 am because I got up at 5 am. I see this kind of energetically real dreams very less but with more or less modification they come true or at least energetically whatever their significance or vibe is, it turns into reality.

Okay, so, coming to the dream real quick. I am in a different place than my native one, probably a village but that’s probably near delhi (I saw the dream with the same topic and same energetic vibe in delhi a few months ago also). I went to a gurudwara, probably Bangla Sahib, did a few general rituals related to prayers that are done in sikhism. In the next flash, I am with somebody with whom I got married without anyone’s knowledge and we are in a village (vibe was either of a village near delhi or somewhere in maharashtra or kerela, I cannot point out exactly because it was a vibe and I cannot explain this kind of dreams too well with surety but they feel so real) hiding from a group of people, probably the people from his side or against him (a group definitely related to him only and we are hiding because of our marriage). That group is not dangerous but we have to hide, I don’t know why, but probable reason is it’s an inter-religion marriage; and I have no idea what his religion is. We probably did court marriage. Now, we are lying closely together, snuggled, I told him, “I am afraid constantly that they will find us.” A bus arrives outside the room in which there are a few people. He says, “don’t worry even if they come, we are together. I have loved you since forever.” I am not lying I have waited for someone to say this to me whole of my life and I am listening to it from somebody who has already become mine (but under a fear?), that’s a beautifully strange feeling of both security and insecurity, pure love and eternal togetherness. Then one by one people have begun coming to us and who are they? First of all enters one of my aunts, with prasad (a religious offering) in her hands, brought from a far off religious place, and she gave both of us blessings and said, “finally, you both have gotten married. I cannot describe my happiness in words. Stay blessed. Stay happy. Stay together.” Okay, so maybe we had aquainted my family that we had gotten married and were staying at that place. Then came my another two aunts, one happy and another’s vibe I could not infer; and then entered one of my college friends from the law college, happy and congratulating me; one south indian hindu priest with a bowl of parsadam, which he hands over to me, and I eat it. I ask my husband where his portion was, to which the priest said that that it was for women only because of the particular ingredients, it is not suitable for men (I have no idea of ‘what and why’ about it because I have never heard of anything like that, I look at him with disbelief and little confusion in my mind about why did I eat it). Then one of my aunts tells me that she has informed his family also and they must be arriving soon. We both(him and I) look at each-other, with a look of anticipation about their reactions but I am sure that that group about which we are afraid is not his family, that’s some outsider group that is against our marriage whereas our families just did not know that we got married. Probably we are going to get married again according to rituals of both of our religions, in the presence of our families.

How and where the marriage happened, I could not see that. I could not even see his face. It was purely a feeling. I know that person, I am so sure that I know him but I don’t know yet who he is because I could not see his face, I could only feel him. You know that feeling when souls get so connected that the looks don’t matter anymore, that kind of feeling; but it was so real. I don’t even know if I have met that person or not, the vibe was just that- a known person, friend or stranger, I don’t know the face or whereabouts of him but I know him. And, by the time I got up, there was no fear of that particular group, just an aching need to know my future partner with whom I have gotten energetically eternally connected, and a beautiful feeling that it is going to be strange and messy in the beginning but our union will continue beautifully. And it is definitely going to be a love marriage.

Strange but a beautiful dream.