A lone wolf is my spirit’s drive,
Embracing my wilderness,
Claiming my authenticity,
Silent, calm and compost and scarcely seething angry,
Working all alone,
I am sure some day I will meet the one,
Honest, righteous and success hungry,
Whose frequency matches with my vibe,
I will meet the one from my own soul tribe.
(First published on 5th March, 2020)
Believe me,
The right one will value you and your love
At the right time.
Everybody else is just temporary.
“You are not sounding good.”
“You are miserable.”
“You cannot live peacefully.”
“You have inner work to do and improve upon what you say.”
“You are bitter.”
“You know only fight.”
“Spare me. I can’t take it anymore.”
“Leave me alone. I don’t want to listen to you.”
“ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS CONSIDER YOU MAD.”
A few responses of a narcissist when you begin to speak your truth; because when you do not share anything to anyone, the narcissist has an upper hand over you as he can tell anything to anyone about you, about your relationship with the narc, and your relation with others. It’s quite easy to brainwash others when you stay silent. When you begin to share your side of the story, that is the time when the narc pulls this kind of tactics to break you, shun you and silence your voice. It will never be done with facts. It will always be done with emotionally and socially acceptable manipulation in which your behavioural standard is first of all lowered down by getting a reaction out of you after giving you sly remarks on your work, ethics, behaviour, character etc. about which nobody or very few people (narc’s joinders) know, and when your behaviour comes out as sometimes socially unacceptable, then the narc uses this kind of manipulation to demean you and to lower the veracity of your reality in the eyes of others by showing them that there is a problem in you, not in the narc.
Always remember that the one telling the truth in a dynamic with a narc always sounds crazy, and it’s easy for the narc to prove it because the victim generally stays silent for a very long time due to various reasons (which I will discuss later) and when it becomes almost impossible to hide the truth, then the emotions explode intensely which makes others feel like the victim is imbalanced and of which narc always takes advantage.
How can you know who is lying here??
Ask for the explanation in details about the reality of each side from each side. Most often, the narc will reply with “I don’t know” or “I am wrong. I accept that. Please leave me alone.” or “She/he is crazy.” Or “I have better things to do. She/he needs help.” This kind of responses are given because the narc never has clarity of thought and those (narcs) who have, they have planned every step on how to bind the other person in a mental loop of abusive action and intense reaction. The explanation will never be factual from the narc’s side, mostly emotional, with distorted facts involving mostly the blame game or pity party.
Victim feels attacked for years and stays silent but when finally reacts, is considered insane, bitter, or narc and all the time when the victim stays silent, staying away from people due to depression or anxiety or paranoia that anybody can be an acquaintance of the narc, then the victim is considered self-centered and selfish (again the blame game).
My advice here is that, if you ever feel abused mentally or emotionally, do not stay silent about it. Talk about it to somebody trustworthy, and never to anyone in common relation to you and the narc. The more you will delay the reactions, the more you will sound crazy because at some point other people will also think that why you did not say anything at the time of abuse, and then you cannot explain enough.
All of their pattern has been
First of all, to be sure of my feelings towards them
Rather than showing their feelings to me, if they had any,
And then test over and over again in the same belief that I might have stopped feeling anything,
And still not being courageous enough to show their own vulnerability.
Trust me, I am realizing this now, I have never wanted such cowards in my life, not at least in the matter of love.
You will move a mile
And think that you ran hundred
When you don’t have a yardstick to measure what you are doing.
People read and study a lot
Not for no reason,
It helps in knowing how much you know
How much you need to imbibe and learn
What you need to eliminate from your mind,
You can think that you have created something exceptional
Until you know that it’s already available, tested and dead;
Reading, studying and learning is so important
It eliminates the IGNORANCE dread.
(Getting the already existing knowledge, it’s opposition to test its veracity and the results that came out and the conclusions drawn is so important. People generally think a lot on their own and then feel that they know a lot, like they have found something exceptional, they keep those ideas with them for years, struggle to make them a reality, only to end up in knowing that the same ideas were carried out in the past and failed miserably. It’s not bad to carry on with the same or similar ideas again as there is still possibility of their success due to changed circumstances but thinking that they surely will end up in success, specially when the independent variables are uncontrollable, those ideas prove to be just utopian views. That’s why knowledge of what worked in the past and what did not is really very important, be it regarding any field or realm.)
They did not listen,
They never could..
Not that they were deaf
Their hunger was more important
They ran together in hundreds
Having no hearth to live in
Didn’t strike their mind what they could
And keeping a distance from their brethren
Was what they should.
Grief of death was big
Grief of living was bigger to contain
You live in beautiful houses
Spending time in luxury
You can understand that perception
It’s hard to feel their pain.
Not knowing
what’s on going
I know life wants me to keep enjoying
Every feeling
Every impulse I gain
Not wanting me to numb down
Needing me to love everything
Like, love, loss and pain
Stigmatic as I could be
About being so psychic
I know nothing like intuition now-a-days
Feeling free from that heavy load
I am stunned with the sensory relief
Though I am feeling everything
I am unburdened of intuitive grief.
A part of me feels guilty for being this much privileged,
A part of me really grateful for the same,
A part of me wants to be of immense service to others,
A part of me too emotional
In search of love fulfilment,
digging all the parts’ grave.
When a few people are confused between two people in the matter of courtship, one of those two being me, I love to take a note who all those chasers are, recede back and see who is going to win over that other person.
Because “If I don’t like to play the game, at least, I can enjoy watching it.” 😛🤣
And I keep that in mind that I don’t have to be with any of them. Because why?
Testing my waters is going to be of no help,
When you don’t know how to swim.
I Think For All 