You under-estimate my capacity of self-control, and that how much of it I need to hold. I am a person who is driven intensely emotionally and yet stays highly rational most of the times. Stay assured that I can cut someone to pieces cold-heartedly in anger if that one deserve it, yet I will control myself enough not to do it because it’s illegal. I can love someone to death intensely, yet I will consider that one non-existent if he deserves that kind of treatment. I am an extreme paradox with high self-control, and that’s what makes me feel so powerful and efficiently working that many people fail to understand.
My extremes in relationships are I WILL WAIT AND LOVE YOU TILL ALL OF YOUR EXES SETTLE DOWN IN HAPPY RELATIONSHIPS AND YOU MOVE ON FROM THEM COMPLETELY WITH THE AFFECTION AND ASSURANCE I KEEP ON GIVING YOU BECAUSE I KNOW I AM STRONG AND CAN BEAR EVERYTHING FOR THAT ONE OF A LIFETIME LOVE I HAVE FOR YOU AND WHICH I FEEL IS GOING TO LAST TILL ETERNITY
WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?? YOU MUST BE THINKING THAT YOU ARE THE UNFORGETTABLE KING OF THE WORLD BUT YOUR PETTY ASS NEEDS TO KNOW THAT YOU LITERALLY MEAN NOTHING TO ME. GO TO HELL !
And there is a thin line between the two which I reach after a long time of keeping patience and forgiving for way too many times.
This is a paragraph that I have found as a dream interpretation. I don’t know why I see some horrible dreams full of helplessness. I need some more clues or clear interpretation as to what actually they mean.
So, today I saw one such dream, or I say, a nightmare. Dream was quite long but I am writing about only that part that is bothering me the most.. My father and I were in a marketplace and he had an argument with a wholesale merchant about the price of some products, which he denied to buy, started going down a lane in the open in frustration. I was following him. I was a kid. I heard the merchant calling some men for attacking us. My father was walking with a good speed, I was lagging behind. I was trying to speed up as he was not listening to me when I was trying to tell him what I heard. Suddenly, a group of four-five goons came, held him and did beat him so mercilessly. They broke his that arm completely whose elbow was broken in real. He was drenched in blood. He initially tried to fight but all in vain. It all happened within seconds. They kept on beating him, and finally he died. I was at a distance, some people held me and I screamed like never before out of innate helplessness. Then I woke up.
Once in a while, I see such nightmares of immense helplessness in which always a group is attacking, mostly I see myself being attacked by mob, stabbed with knives, or killed in some ruthless ways. Fights, Bloodshed and death by a group or mob is the main theme of most of my nightmares. This time it was related to my father, which increased my intensity manifolds, that too about which I could not do anything. This was the feeling of helplessness like never before.
Is there anyone who can interpret dreams/nightmates and their symbols paychologically or throw some light?