Learn to know the difference between people going through a lot because of inevitable circumstances in their life And people suffering because of their own jealousy, envy, insecurities, ego, and misery.
You fool yourself, or should I say, they fool you, everytime you sympathise with the latter. The moment you elevate their ego, they leave you like you ain’t shit or give you crumbs to get you stuck in their Misery🔄Elevate Their Ego Loop.
I can only explain, choice is all yours. I can’t save others’ energy, nor I can deal with such people in the long run who are always into sympathising with inherently toxic people.
Just because some people do not use words that can make them look like a negative person, doesn’t mean they are not negative. Narcissists use this kind of facade the most.
People who are actually going through or have gone through some really rough time may not have expressed it in any way.
Be with someone who would never make you feel like a failure but also someone who would go miles with you for your success as well. Going miles with you have nothing to do with doing your part of the work, but moving along with you while you do it for yourself. Also, expect such a partner only if you are willing to be That Person for them as well.
It is said that ambitious people have only two options- A supportive partner or No partner at all, and I can’t agree more.
People with vision become more humble when they succeed in the manifestation of their vision as they know how many struggles it took them to reach there. People with useless unhealthy ego become humble only when they fail as they are left with no other choice as they become perplexed or stay stuck in that place having no to little vision about what to do next.
It’s not only a difference between vision and ego. It’s also a difference between dominant types with a vision and submissive types having no vision. The latter ones usually run towards small-term and superficial goals like “I want to be famous”, “I want to earn money”, “I want to be popular” etc. and if you ask them exactly what they want to do and how, they usually have no clear answer. The former ones the those who have a long-term and large scale vision. They do not go behind short-term dopamine boosters. They are more humble when they keep on succeeding as they know that their success is just one of the steps to fulfil their vision, and their long-term vision is not only the self-serving one like those so-called failed humble ones. Even when they fail, they cannot leave their warrior spirit which the latter submissive types with no vision get intimidated by and can’t digest.
Last but not the least, my views seem to be arrogant to every hypocrite who is humble only when he/she is failing or losing, and uber egoistic n never humble when winning.
“Inexplicable roots of connection between two souls” -My Interpretation About This Painting.
I will be very glad to know how you are going to perceive it. This is one of my most abstract paintings which I just painted within seconds (maybe it took one minute) and didn’t even think for once what I was doing or what I was intending to do; so, there is some unconscious n subconscious meaning behind it.
I like it when you are lonely. That is my favourite place for you. When we first meet if you make mention of feeling lonely, or send a self-pitying tweet decrying your loneliness then I am straight on to you. You may as well have taken a knife to your chest, slit it open […]
The exact thinking of a narcissist. I have not seen a single victim whose friends or family have not been reached by a narc or whom narc did not surround with his own friend circle. You can actually visualise a normal innocent person standing inside of a circle of a narc’s friends, unable to escape ever. The boundary of the enclosure is adjusted according to the behaviour of the victim. If the victim acts according to the narc, giving him all the narcissistic supply, then the area of the circle is widened, so that the victim can feel like having freedom. But be wary, it is just a false sense of freedom, the victim just doesn’t know where the boundary is set by the narc but slowly and steadily (which may take years) the victim starts feeling that something is wrong, like somebody is pushing triggering buttons and pulling emotional strings when the victim does anything with a free will. Some victims never get to know who that person is. Those who get to know are then discarded by the narc in ways incomprehensible and shocking ways (a different topic) to the victim like a rug got pulled out below the feet. If the victim is impressive to everyone but meek, coy and obedient to the narcissist, this is the perfect dynamic to the narc. If somebody does not show off or others do not know about their achievements, then discarding happens instantly. If somebody is impressive to others and the narc as well, then Love Bombing (a different topic) begins in the initial stages to attract the victim; in the later stages, to pull the victim back into that enclosure of narc and his flying monkeys. Beware, some so-called flying monkeys do not even know that they are being so. Some may be genuine people intricately manipulated by the narc and his similar narcissist allies (different topic). The victims do not get to know from where they are being attacked mentally, emotionally and sometimes physically as well, that’s gaslighting (different topic). Gaslighting the victim inside that enclosure is the perfect dynamic in which either narc can control the victim completely by giving a little bit of attention or affection by himself or by his flying monkeys here and there; or during devaluation the victim is called “crazy” or “psychopath” or “anti-social” or will be called names whatever can work to hit the psyche of the victim to make the victim feel lonely, that too, IN WAYS IN WHICH ANY THIRD PERSON CANNOT KNOW THAT IT’S THE NARC WHO IS SAYING ALL THAT (Hiding his identity during all the criminalistic and psychopathic activities is a narcissist’s biggest trait), and then all those flying monkeys are pulled back in order to make the victim that there is something wrong in their behaviour and to make the victim feel lonely. Even if the victim asks a few of the allies of narc on suspicion of something wrong happening, they try to shun off the victim’s voice and ask “WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU??” No wonder the victim will be called crazy for hundreds of times, but Never Publically because that will actually spoil the Fake Image maintained by the narcissist and those who have been helping him under the guise of his fake image will stop helping him for controlling the victim. The whole idea is to control the victim anyhow so that due to loneliness, the victim runs to the narcissist most of the times for support (or to his flying monkeys).
●Take the cues of being manipulated. Observe when some of your near and dear ones begin to act out of their character that you used to know before.
●Observe keenly before and after what action of whom you get to have reactions from whom and with what tone.
●Observe who jokes in what tone at what time and who questions you about which things (what is unacceptable to you is the key here).
●VERY IMPORTANT: Talk to a trusted family member, as well as a friend, and if possible (which is the best option) talk to a psychotherapist ept in behavioural therapies and who knows about narcissism as well.
●Talk about it openly. Break the chain/circle created by the narcissist around you. Do not trust anyone unless and until somebody tells you the truth that you want to know. Test them by asking about things that you already know and you know that they also know, then you’ll know who is lying and is a part of that circle.
●Do not care about your image. They are still a very few people who maintain a fake image, and you are real. The world is quite big, you will find your tribe some day.
●Once you know who is the culprit and who are the allies, do not change your mind of removing those people from your life. The narcissist never changes as it is an incurable mental disease. Some fluctuations may occur with time and circumstances but that’s about it; the allies are either narcissists themselves, not that much to you though and even in case they are not narcs, they are not your well-wishers, they are narc’s friends, and those who became his allies under the guise of his innocense cannot be trusted as they can be easily manipulated by anyone and as a result can help anyone in manipulating you as well.
●Stay strong. It’s okay to be alone than being in a bad company. Weak people are often found in groups. Even if your precious time got ruined in the narcissistic cycle, it’s still better than ruining your whole life by going back to the same people undeserving of anything from your side.
You attract your own energy, nothing from the outside. If you do not know your worth, you attract people who consider you worthless. If you do not want something to work for you, you won’t get it. If you have some traits in your subconscious mind for a partner, every other kind of person will be repelled/removed from your life sooner or later. If you want to change yourself, you have to visualize that change in you. If you want to become something, you have to believe it in your whole being. That’s all law of attraction is. You attract your energy, your thoughts, your vibes, your aura to you. Now, a few of you may think “I am a healer. Usually toxic people get attracted to me. I don’t think this is how law of attraction works. I never wanted that.” My answer is your innate nature is that of a healer and toxic people need spiritual healing and your mind subconsciously desires somebody to heal, so, toxic people get attracted to you unknowingly. But you can save yourself by creating boundaries n by directing your energy to be more specific to heal yourself first or the innocent victims of toxic abusers or nobody at all particularly and by only teaching people how to heal themselves.