I can only tell how much free I feel now
Free to speak up my mind
Free to act my heart out
Free to love anyone I want to
Free to choose what to make my life about,
Shackled I felt
For a really long time
To soothe someone’s ego
To soothe one’s mind,
Out of respect I did it so wrong
That I cared about one’s selfishness
made my freedom in those shackles grind.
It’s not the lack of self-love,
If I ever lacked it
I wouldn’t be able to love anyone this deeply,
It’s lack of ego
That I am still standing here.
If you ask me straight up, those who keep on talking about suicide all the time, surely they are depressed, but also they seek attention and want to be overly cared for. Sorry to say this but this is the truth. Almost all of us go through worst events in life, some of us beyond imagination that we are even afraid to tell ourselves the truth about it, a few of us attempt to commit suicide without letting anyone know about it.
If somebody keeps on talking about depression n suicide, there is a big chance that they are suicidal and need a counsellor/psychologist/psychiatrist, but there is also a 10-20% chance that they just want to manipulate others into getting more than what they deserve.
About that small chance, I may sound too rude or harsh to some of you but I have seen people doing that in real and when you tell them to jump from the rooftop, then they freak out from your reaction and don’t even dare to commit suicide, infact they call you arrogant.
Some just want to suck the life out of others, or take advantage of empaths and their caring nature. Sadly, the most emotional ones fall prey to this tactic.
But in either case, it’s a mental deformity, and rather than dealing with them yourself, either suggest or take them to a professional. You can barely do anything else in such instances personally.
People just cannot let you heal,
You try to go one step up,
They drag you 10 steps down.
I cannot tell how much I feel the need to know new people, some good and lively energy. The people among whom you can set your own worth standards and they actually meet them; people with whom you can talk freely about anything and everything, and even silence feels very comfortable; people with whom you can roam around freely not having any hard and fast rule about what “kind” of place you like or not; people with whom you can go for meals in your night suit or maybe cook one together; people with whom you don’t feel judged for being completely yourself as weird, strange or awkward; people to whom your history doesn’t matter but those who still consider past and future and do not be fickle by staying only in the “now” or “in the moment”; people who know the meaning of real reciprocity, and do not only brag about what they do for you rather be acknowledging and thankful for what you do for them as well; people who love to learn and are curious to learn to love are my kind of people that I am so eagerly waiting for.
“What the hell is happening here”
Anxiety screams, hair prickles,
“Oh baby.. You don’t need to know”
Sanity reclaims, “relax your knuckles.”
Pay close attention to your dreams
They might guide you through reality,
Nightmares or wonderful they may be
They may make cut you through life’s duality.
It doesn’t disappoint me to know who has ill-will against me, I am too grateful to know people’s reality and true intentions that I actually did not get involved with any of them more than they deserved.
“I can see
I can sense
I can love
Beyond their comprehension
And that’s what irritates their demons,
But it’s not for them to understand,
It’s for him n I.”
(This is my last poem here as a many rats n snakes have been spying here (the unexpected ones) with whom I have had no personal experience on any level in the past or present, still some people are like that only.)
“I hope you understand, love,
I wish you chase your dreams.
You can stay assured from my side.
It’s time to grow from every kind of negativity.
Take your time and space.”
it could be as beautiful in real
as I see it in my dreams..