When you are a patient person, it seems like everybody else is eager to see results out of your work. But why?? Why do they need to depend on your results?? Don’t they have their own life or they just want some extra dopamine or serotonin from you(😂)??
Jokes apart, your life is all about you and the people you voluntarily want to connect with. So, if random people cannot have their life together and want to derive satisfaction from your results, both positive and negative(negative because most people wait for your decline in progress. It’s a fact!), then it is in any way not your problem. You can choose your own pace as well as direction. You can choose to work or not; you can choose to get married or not; you can choose to study or not; you can choose to travel, have a business, love, be in relationship or have friendships, socialize, explain yourself OR NOT. Your expressions can be your identity or only a small part of it. Thus, you can choose to express yourself or not.
Do not let overly-stimulate yourself by those who just have a big mouth and not enough big brain to know where to draw the line of interference or a deep soul to know that others’ life and lifestyles also matter.
A wise man once said if it is not going to affect you, it is none of your business, and if it is going to affect only You, then it shall not be their business.
If anybody got offended by my last post, it only means that either they were finding pleasure and validation in my pain, which by any means is toxic, or they are over-analysing what I write. In both the cases, they need to find their mental balance and stop being overly reactionary.
PS- I am not giving any explanation about my behaviour here as I do not owe it to anyone for what I write. I am just trying to reflect on people’s reactivity so that they can heal on their own by self-evaluation.
Let’s talk about the main difference between people having high emotional tolerance and those having low level of it.
The former reacts to the painful situation when it becomes unbearable; whereas the latter reacts the same way even at the hint of pain or at most, at the initiation of a painful event.
Illustratively, emotionally highly tolerant people have the experience(s) of a deep wound(s), which opens up and bleeds every time it’s touched, poked, hit or exposed i.e. emotionally it gets triggered but they get accustomed to tolerating that much pain, so they take it as their normal and generally do not react to what actually normal people would react to to a good extent;
Whereas emotionally lowly tolerant people have little to no such wound and they become afraid even at the thought of having any wound, so they act dramatically in order to evade from any kind of pain; they show pain which is the bare minimum for other normal people which actually can be too much for them because their threshold of emotional tolerance is quite low.
Because of this, one shall never judge other’s pain based on their reactions. Some people are natually highly reactive, others are experiencially highly tolerant.
If somebody is laughing, it doesn’t mean that they are not in pain;
If somebody is silent, it doesn’t mean that they are in pain;
If somebody is in pain, it doesn’t mean they cannot or won’t react;
If somebody is reacting, it doesn’t mean that they are or are not in pain.
Pain cannot be described and treated by others with rules set in stone. As much as pain is subjective, so is its expression.
Overly-motivational videos sometimes make you feel like you are the only one not doing good enough in life.
Use them with caution and only when you are willing to do something and are not depressed because believe it or not, it tends to depress you even further when you watch them talk about how one can “rise from the ashes” “go from rags to riches” “from blank to highly enlightened” with pure passion and courage and spirit. No people! Courage, spirit and passion are only a minor proportion of what is required to reach your destination. If everyone could attain everything based on mere passion which is actually only emotional power, each one on this planet would have been an achiever.
Where on the one hand, they are right to motivate others who need only motivation despite having every other thing required to reach a goal, on the other hand it can make one feel really weak who has no plan or target to achieve. One needs logic, grit and resources more than mere motivation. It’s like if you want to run a wheel, you need, first of all, wood or metal and tools and knowledge to assemble it to make it, rather than having a potential energy to be changed into kinetic one. One cannot make a wheel out of leaves or air or water merely with passion.
Kudos to those motivational speakers who talk about steps as well to attain your goals. They have in-depth knowledge of how things work and they talk with logic as well as emotions.