Bigger reason.

If you have asked yourself many a times, like me,

“Why am I alive??”

Your life has been a hell

But also

Your life is going to be a blessing for others,

Focus on your higher purpose,

You are not made to live for yourself only,

You will get a good answer to the WHY some day.

Paradox.

My sense of independence is my biggest fetter

I rebel where most people won’t

And cooperate where most people don’t

Because I want something different

Different from what they know n what they are used to

I want something unexplored

Where they will never let me go n do what I intend to do

So I stay away

Pushing everyone away

Because I want to breath, think, feel and do everything freely

As you can’t control air

And if you do it turns into a storm

I do the same

And break every chain to stay free

But my sense of freedom fetters me

It doesn’t let me come close to anyone

Bcz I don’t want to be controlled with their judgements

I just want to live n love freely.

Love gone right.

Dirty thoughts going dirtier

For that only one

with whom it’s meant to be;

You looking at me with something in your eyes

Something so carnal that in a split second took my breath away

Without a single touch you are calling me in

Something so pure, so raw, so wild

Like you have been thirsty for years

Something calling me to be food for your soul

And body

Yes, for you I’m not minding to be called ‘food’

Because I am yours and you are mine;

Your thoughts are running wild

Your wildest fantacies playing on your mind

With aching slowness

turning into reality

With every hold you take of me

With every glide of your tongue on my neck

With every bite on my lips

With every nibble of my bare breasts

With every thrust of you inside of me

Pushing me through to a world

A nastier, sexier, lovlier world

Where reside, love and quench lust

Together you and me.

A beginning of passion, love, lust and intimacy. ❤

Munching over??

They might have got a few crumbs from somebody by talking shit about you for a few days,

What now??

Empty handed??

Starving??

Ultimatum.

When you will be laying in your deathbed

Grieving about your time to end,

Your body decaying into a lump of stinking rubbish,

Recollecting those moments of your life

Which you lost in your unseen sickness,

You may still not realise that it was not others who needed to see you

It was you who needed to recognise your own sickness

That destroyed you slowly and gradually from the inside

That in your last moment you’d wish

It was not true what you did

It was just your undeveloped mind,

But all in vain

Karma would have played its role

And you’d die all alone

In darkness,

The darkness so haunting to you

That you’d feel the nails of something digging deep on your skin

And still not letting you bleed through your wounds

You eyes would be dead terrified

Awake all day and night

Trying to shed some tears

Instead dripping the rivers of blood,

But think not

That this will be your end,

You will have to pay for every wrong you did to the innocent ones,

It will be all so horrible

Like some ghosts binge eating on your brain every second of your misery

That you will beg them for your demise

When you do, they will laugh out loud at you

From all the angles

Seeing your wounds open

For only you to see and pity on yourself,

Then when they would like to show some mercy on you

They will piss on you and inside your mouth

For you to feel every single feeling you gave to others

To end your insignificant existence from the world

Leaving nobody to cry on your death, neither your sister, nor any friendly hoeing brothers.

(This is not for anyone I have ever met in real. Needed to clear this.)

Lost trust in being loved, not in love.

I used to think that maybe my love will be enough for ‘us’ two

But then you tore me down, my core on love so badly

and my belief that I am worthy of being loved

That now even if somebody will give me everything

And say a million times that he loves me

I’d still doubt if I am actually being loved

Or am I just a temporary thing.

FREE AS FUCK !!

I can only tell how much free I feel now

Free to speak up my mind

Free to act my heart out

Free to love anyone I want to

Free to choose what to make my life about,

Shackled I felt

For a really long time

To soothe someone’s ego

To soothe one’s mind,

Out of respect I did it so wrong

That I cared about one’s selfishness

made my freedom in those shackles grind.

Zapped words.

I hope my silence speaks

Because my words are never enough.

I mean this n that. ❤

Let’s do something that may leave me speechless,

And you wanting for more.

My ground.

Show me something different,

To get something different,

How many times the behaviour needs to move in circles??

Karmic bonds, I get that are hard to go away from,

So were mine,

Did I never love any of them??

I did !

I did love them to the core of my heart.

It took me to shred it to pieces

And collect it completely once again.

I get what you may be going through

I cannot deny the depth of your love for somebody else,

Nor the depth of her love for you.

But

I know something that is true,

He loves her more than ever you will do,

Just like I love you.

Loyalty speaks a lot,

Waiting for somebody for months and year speaks a lot,

Respectinh someone,

their boundaries

and understanding their feelings

Again speak a lot.

And I am not saying all this just because I want you,

I am saying this out of experience.

Shit happens. It happens a lot.

I can understand that.

Even if you won’t be with her,

I am not going to think that you are mine.

I require a lot from somebody,

Literally the whole of him,

And if you cannot stand your ground for long

And if you cannot be your own

How can you ever be mine,

And I am not interested in

Standing there in this place empty handed

Calling myself your when you cannot say you are mine.