Not made to shirk away from
or give up on the right things,
I’ll lose my mind in anger
only when I’d put it on the wrong swings.
(First published on 12th oct, 2020)
I want to give an advice to young women/girls who want to get married at some point in their life. Actually, there are many points that I want to discuss under this topic and you may also find many advices online as well as offline regarding marriage. But there is one point that I want to put some light on which is often ignored while considering a life partner.
If you are a woman who is ambitious, takes her own decisions, works her ass off, is a go-getter, and is a provider, in short, the one who has most of the qualities of an Alpha Female, you need to see the family structure of the man if you are interested in him for marriage or life partnership or relationship. I am saying this because I have seen this pattern a lot in society that when and if the females of the family in which a man has grown up, did not work in office, and were by nature-submissive, coy, and silent, that man is going to want the same from his life-partner sub-consciously. It doesn’t matter how much educated or modernised he became, the years (decades) of mental training he got from his family sub-consciously is not going to change even if he finds the otherwise for himself consciously. He would want you to be the same meek and coy woman. Your boundaries will be aggressive to him. Your desires and ambition will make him feel insecure and he would like to impose his dogmatic thinking upon you just like his family’s females were pressed upon and taught to abide by the thinking and orders of the men in his family. He cannot comprehend that you can Think and Do better than him. His insecurities will start acting up whenever you will point out at his flaws, even if done politely. He may even be envious of your work and power because he was conditioned in his psyche’s developmental stages that women are not the Alpha and are meant to be protected and guided only. He may point at your frankness as rudeness. For him, submissive silence is elegance and speaking your mind will be needed to be in a controlled manner according to his dictates.
There will be, most of the times, power struggle between you two because you are an Alpha female and he may feel powerless because of that, so he will try to over-power you to soothe his ill-conditioned mind, and then there might be fights, manipulation and even separation between you two.
What do you think-is it better not to engage with such a man or is it better to engage and then be forced to leave in the end?? Or you can be ultra-submissive just like his family’s females and give upon your own power and capabilities and ambition to soothe his fragile ego??
(PS: Don’t come here with your feminist or anti-feminist mentality regarding this post. It’s about a particular kind of a man. The propositions may be relative to patriarchy but I did not point out at that. This advice is solely for alpha females who also love with whole of their being, so, kindly, do not come with the contention that love is adjustment and all. Those are different topics. I intended to write exactly about a very small fraction of possibilities.)
Thank you for reading. 🙂