Someone should give my family an award for population control 😌
I am the only one left of my generation (after my brother’s death) from 6 kins of my father’s generation i.e. my father and his 5 siblings, 4 of which got married (including my father) but had no child.
PS: It feels awkward as well burdensome to remind myself that I have the responsibility of my whole clan on my shoulders.
One’s silence to heal oneself should be digestible.
List your top 5 grocery store items.
Pasta-Whole wheat pasta preferred when available, otherwise I just like different shapes of it which are available in multi-purpose flour option only.
Milk or milkshake (Can)-A few flavours like chocolate, coffee, strawberry, vanilla, cardamom, are my mains. Not drinking milkshakes in winters as I am taking hot chocolate in the evening daily.
Hot chocolate Powder-Currently Cadbury’s.
Chocolates- Any and many.
Khakhra or Nachos-It’s a gujarati snack just like a whole tortilla fried and tastes like nachos and is made of maize and rice flour and salt amd spices. I try a different flavour at different orders. Or I eat nachos-cheeze flavoured or classic salted.
I just checked my latest grocery list, wordpress. It’s not a forever kind of a thing. Also, I usually eat indian food i.e. Roti (indian flatbread or tortilla made of whole wheat flour), lentils, mixed vegetable, rice, twice a day, daily. Coconut water upon waking up and gajar ka halwa i.e. pudding made of carrots twice a day about 50-60 gm each time, daily. ❤💫
Honestly, I drew it without any thought and after looking at it a few times, different perspectives started striking my mind.
(Note: Kindly do not use the image or copy the concept. The copyrights are reserved by Preet. Thank you.🙂)
People usually think why I am mostly poker faced or smiling and not really smiling in my pics.
REASONS–
Hard, heart-breaking and hurtful events: Death of 8 family members from which 7 of them died one after another with a gap of one or two years continuously. Heartbreaks in between. So, obviously depression was my normal mental state full of feelings of helplessness, fear of loss of the next one and the related anxiety, in which I had bouts of non-depressive episodes(Yep! Opposite of usual).
Heartbreak: The one that happened long ago (2015) was mentally abusive to me, during and after which I felt like I did not even have enough self-respect. I didn’t come in any relationship after that. After that I fell in love with my so-called best friend, who also deceived me in many ways, and then got married last year about which I got to know in march this year (no,he didn’t inform me. He was still hiding it) So, welcome to depression again !!
Broken friendships: Almost all of my friendships got broken from 2018-2020. Mind games, groupism, gossips, joining hands with enemies. The behaviour which I used to observe, forgive and forget before this time period, became intolerable to me. After all, for how many years(even decades) people were going to take me as a fool just because I was too tolerant, good-hearted, forgiving and friendly?? Definitely, those were not friends. Someone had to end it all, so I did.
My studies and work: Believe it or not, when you are involved in legal, political and psychological fields, you see and read cases that kinda mentally suck you in (Nasty mentally disturbing stuff). It all, in a way, gets embedded on your soul and psyche and you can never really undo that all information. Not that I don’t love what I do. I love my work and research but it’s also true that only the toughest ones can see and go through all that and still have a stability of mind to think through it all rationally.
Although I try my best to stay normal and succeed too; yet somehow it (all the bad stuff) still shows on my face, and most of the times, one can see it in my eyes.
That’s why, most of my old pictures show some kind of depression or sadness on my face and in my eyes.
Not that I am not hurt now or never get hurt or depressed, but every single hurt or disappointment reminds me of my past.
(PS- I was not writing about any of those people and/or events lately, anywhere on social media. Some people have really changed for the better and I also have moved on from that past.)
People hype so much about meditation in terms of taking a separate time for it, maintaining a posture, eyes closed etc. etc. that it’s almost impossible for them to comprehend that someone can be in a constant state of meditation without doing a specific set of actions and postures for maintaining that state. Meditation is all about deep breathing, clarity of thoughts, and mindfulness. If you are just obsessed with its trendy and fancy part, then you are just a ball of mess with a veil of spirituality over you, which will not serve you or anyone else in the long run.
Meditation, mindfulness, spirituality, soul connection to oneself- They all begin and stay inside of one’s mind.
Don’t fool yourself and others.
A soul is sitting by your side
All they can feel is
your pain for their absence
and for you, their pride;
A want to embrace you,
their reeling grows strong,
for holding you in their arms tight;
The moment you feel weakness
The moment you feel any fear
The moment your heart aches for their presence
The moment your soul screams their name,
Feel in your heart without an iota of doubt
They never leave you alone in this fight,
They are always within you, and
They are sitting by your side.
Be with someone who would never make you feel like a failure but also someone who would go miles with you for your success as well. Going miles with you have nothing to do with doing your part of the work, but moving along with you while you do it for yourself. Also, expect such a partner only if you are willing to be That Person for them as well.
It is said that ambitious people have only two options- A supportive partner or No partner at all, and I can’t agree more.
Something so general, still something that we all forget sometimes.
A few people think that I am over-qualified whereas I still feel under-qualified, and it’s not because of any outsider; actually, my father was a highly-qualified scholar. He had 3 graduation degrees that were in science, arts, and law, each, n 3 post-grad degrees, in physics, english, and political-science, each. He also wanted to do post-grad in law, with me, but destiny had other plans and he succumbed to throat cancer, and thus, I also couldn’t carry on with my studies for the next one year. But then, I started with post-grad in political science as it was the only options left for me at that time and I was quite interested in it as well. After that, I am still studying, although I had a gap of one and half year in studies due to lockdown and changing areas of research.
Coming back to my father. He was studying law when he had 2 kids and was performing his official duties as well as he was doing job at that time. I mean, how could he manage everything so effortlessly. So much of hard-work on his part stayed unrecognized. He was too humble to believe and many people usually under-estimated him because of that, although those who actually knew him had a blind trust on him and his capabilities, and that’s what he actually deserved. Not to forget to mention, his level of knowledge, both static and current. Asked him about anything, he had the right answers most of the times, in the age when there was no internet, google, wikipedia.. Actually, he used to read 2-3 newspapers first thing in the morning, right after refreshing, Aaaaand books in the fields of novels, ayurveda, science n tech, astrology, etc. AND how can I not mention his talents?? He was really (I mean REALLY!!) good in cooking, sewing, carpentry in terms of repairing any furniture, sketching, gardening, playing musical instrument..in which sketching was truly exceptional as he could draw any still life object within 2-3 minutes with fast and light-strokes and all he needed was any paper and any kind of pencil..
Whole of my life I saw him doing things and asked myself where do you stand?? Yeah.. kind of inferiority complex I could have but instead, he proved to be an inspiration for me to always do and learn more and more.
Life is not forever, but the legacy you leave as a learner and doer is indefinite and forever.
I Think For All 