50 shades?

Going 500 shades about someone

and he has no idea..

#olddiaries

Simplified

PC-Preet (Clicked in 2019)

What can you do with your lips

is as versatile as your imagination….. ❤

LIFE.

People usually think why I am mostly poker faced or smiling and not really smiling in my pics.

REASONS

Hard, heart-breaking and hurtful events: Death of 8 family members from which 7 of them died one after another with a gap of one or two years continuously. Heartbreaks in between. So, obviously depression was my normal mental state full of feelings of helplessness, fear of loss of the next one and the related anxiety, in which I had bouts of non-depressive episodes(Yep! Opposite of usual).

Heartbreak: The one that happened long ago (2015) was mentally abusive to me, during and after which I felt like I did not even have enough self-respect. I didn’t come in any relationship after that. After that I fell in love with my so-called best friend, who also deceived me in many ways, and then got married last year about which I got to know in march this year (no,he didn’t inform me. He was still hiding it) So, welcome to depression again !!

Broken friendships: Almost all of my friendships got broken from 2018-2020. Mind games, groupism, gossips, joining hands with enemies. The behaviour which I used to observe, forgive and forget before this time period, became intolerable to me. After all, for how many years(even decades) people were going to take me as a fool just because I was too tolerant, good-hearted, forgiving and friendly?? Definitely, those were not friends. Someone had to end it all, so I did.

My studies and work: Believe it or not, when you are involved in legal, political and psychological fields, you see and read cases that kinda mentally suck you in (Nasty mentally disturbing stuff). It all, in a way, gets embedded on your soul and psyche and you can never really undo that all information. Not that I don’t love what I do. I love my work and research but it’s also true that only the toughest ones can see and go through all that and still have a stability of mind to think through it all rationally.

Although I try my best to stay normal and succeed too; yet somehow it (all the bad stuff) still shows on my face, and most of the times, one can see it in my eyes.

That’s why, most of my old pictures show some kind of depression or sadness on my face and in my eyes.

Not that I am not hurt now or never get hurt or depressed, but every single hurt or disappointment reminds me of my past.

(PS- I was not writing about any of those people and/or events lately, anywhere on social media. Some people have really changed for the better and I also have moved on from that past.)

Amen

Dear God/Beloved Universe,

If you can’t give me a true lover for life, please give me 1 billion dollar and a few helpers and assistants. They say money can’t buy happiness; I will prove them how money gives immense happiness. And It doesn’t mean I won’t feel sadness ever, but feeling sad, sitting at a couch, in a luxurious penthouse still feels better. Remember, I never feel that any amount of money is enough money, so I always prefer more and more.

And yes, If you have planned to give me a true lover for life, I still want that money.

Yours faithfully,

Tired (of every confused person) Soul.

Quote spoiled

Quote: You are gonna miss the girl who _______.

He: “Naah..”

“Not me.”

“NEVER”

Quote: Source of mental energy of psychopaths.

Some psychopaths on internet be like “why the hell are you not fighting with me !! Aaarrrggghhh.. Who will save me now?? My energy is vanishing. I need to lick someone’s brain so badly !!”

Psychopaths gain mental energy from arguing and fighting with others. They try to suck the energy out of anyone with their toxicity whereas mentally stable people try to run away from unreasonable arguments and fights.

Contending??

When the main source of contention gets eliminated and the contention still persists without any viable notion, how much a logical person is going to engage in that loop of incongruent predicaments rotating just to prove some sort of superiority complex??

The answers may vary according to the level of consciousness one has reached. Some people move one step back to get themselves out of that abyss of illusions and put their best foot forward in something of value in real life, whereas some people stay stuck in that loop, hence mediocrity. Choose to be the former, my friend, out of mediocrity.

Failed

I tried to fly,

with broken wings.

Dry.

Wanting to speak my mind,

with love emphatically,

here I am,

Sitting devoid of it..

Like a river lost its course

then dried up abruptly.

Therapy.

Therapist: What do we do when we like someone?

Me: We stay quiet and use telepathy so that that person may know what’s in our mind.

Therapist: HELL NO !!

😂🤣

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