Difference in reaction

Not love.

Please don’t tell me how much you self-sabotaged yourself for anybody,

It’s just a form of self abuse;

And if you cannot love yourself enough not to self-sabotage

Then you cannot love anyone else, it’s true,

And to me

showing your weaknesses in the name of love is of no use.

(First published on 29th oct, 2020)

Loads in depression.

Sometimes, your biggest achievement is to talk while you have no mental energy to even speak a word,

do all of your works of the day while you have no physical energy either,

And to smile when all you feel is emptiness,

To have hope while all you want is to scream and cry out loud not knowing what to do about what’s bothering you.

(Originally posted on 12th june,2020, when I was in severe depression)

Grateful for your presence.

This post is just to thank everyone here who stays patient with me. Sometimes, I cannot interact via comments because I feel shut down due to personal reasons n find it difficult to talk to anyone. Sometimes, you all have to deal with my negative posts involving anguish described in anger n rage. My family as well has to deal with my furious nature. Although, it has reduced drastically in comparison to the last year but still I feel that nobody else than me deserves to deal with those vibes. The darkness should stay with the person to whom it belongs and be released too in a healthy way. I find writing and painting as the mediums to release the negativity that engulfs me, from which I am unable to release it through Art as I can only paint good stuff. It’s only through writing that I can release my worst of dark emotions, and it’s really very important for me to release anger, otherwise I get sick physically as well (fever n low immunity). So, I just want to thank you all (including my family) for being there in my lows as well, and not only in the times I write something good having some good vibes in it, full of love and beauty. You all are Amazing Ones..

Love and Blessing to You..💜💖

Quote: Intellect.

An Intellectual Person tries to understand different perspectives and then critically evaluates them 🧠

A Fool laughs at everything he Fails to understand. 🤡

A friendly reminder.

I am sorry if you stay in flight or fight mode and also think that it’s your fault. Just a friendly reminder that it’s not your fault and you also can feel safe. Just change the people around you and choose the right ones who can make you feel safe physically and mentally.

Universal guidance through dreams..

My dreams not only tell me what’s meant for me, they also tell who n what is being a block.. I don’t talk on n about many things because I am seeking answers from the universe n nobody else.. From symbolic forms to stark clear reality seen 10 minutes to 5-6 months before it actually manifested in real life. From clues to seeing actually what and who is going to create a hindrance in something and in what way, I see it in my dreams so clearly.. The dreams that feel like just a recap of experiences, I can feel that..The dreams that feel like they are going to be true, they really come true.

I am sharing this because today morning as well I saw one such dream and it was about my love. I don’t want to explain it here in details because then it would seem like a personal attack on a real person because what I saw in it was that someone was just trying to snatch him and trying to create misunderstandings between us, that too, by using religion in some way. Like that person trying to act innocent n helpful to him by including GOD’s Name in everything, that too, not to help, but to control him, and to make me fight with him.

I really won’t go into the details or mention names here because that would actually look like a personal attack on someone. But.. everything that I have written is what I actually saw and it was quite shocking to see because nothing like that was going on in my mind yesterday.

I don’t know, probably it was a clue from the universe, but I will let the time decide about its viability.

I would like to end it by saying, “You can stretch an end only like, and only as much as you can, with a chewing gum.

Emotions Coping Strategy..

My best and the worst coping strategy for emotional turmoil or trauma so far:

Having 10 other things to do, so that whenever I feel anything emotional, I can say to myself, “I haven’t got any time for this shit”.

Yeah, when you keep so many rational things to stress you out, why worry about emotions?? 😂🤣

Psychological Advice- It works for a short-term, doesn’t work in the long run. Also, if you cannot take mental and physical pressure, do not even try this on yourself. Deal with your emotions by understanding them. I also do that whenever I have the energy to do so. ❤

Righteous anger.

When my goodness is not acknowledged

Rather toxicity is made to look like it won

My anger explodes in ways

I am not very proud of

And which can make an onlooker shun.

Abstract digital art..

“Inexplicable roots of connection between two souls” -My Interpretation About This Painting.

I will be very glad to know how you are going to perceive it. This is one of my most abstract paintings which I just painted within seconds (maybe it took one minute) and didn’t even think for once what I was doing or what I was intending to do; so, there is some unconscious n subconscious meaning behind it.

(PS- I think it’s also having a bit of 3D effect, if I am not completely wrong.)

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