A proud daughter of a man of many skills ❤

A few people think that I am over-qualified whereas I still feel under-qualified, and it’s not because of any outsider; actually, my father was a highly-qualified scholar. He had 3 graduation degrees that were in science, arts, and law, each, n 3 post-grad degrees, in physics, english, and political-science, each. He also wanted to do post-grad in law, with me, but destiny had other plans and he succumbed to throat cancer, and thus, I also couldn’t carry on with my studies for the next one year. But then, I started with post-grad in political science as it was the only options left for me at that time and I was quite interested in it as well. After that, I am still studying, although I had a gap of one and half year in studies due to lockdown and changing areas of research.

Coming back to my father. He was studying law when he had 2 kids and was performing his official duties as well as he was doing job at that time. I mean, how could he manage everything so effortlessly. So much of hard-work on his part stayed unrecognized. He was too humble to believe and many people usually under-estimated him because of that, although those who actually knew him had a blind trust on him and his capabilities, and that’s what he actually deserved. Not to forget to mention, his level of knowledge, both static and current. Asked him about anything, he had the right answers most of the times, in the age when there was no internet, google, wikipedia.. Actually, he used to read 2-3 newspapers first thing in the morning, right after refreshing, Aaaaand books in the fields of novels, ayurveda, science n tech, astrology, etc. AND how can I not mention his talents?? He was really (I mean REALLY!!) good in cooking, sewing, carpentry in terms of repairing any furniture, sketching, gardening, playing musical instrument..in which sketching was truly exceptional as he could draw any still life object within 2-3 minutes with fast and light-strokes and all he needed was any paper and any kind of pencil..

Whole of my life I saw him doing things and asked myself where do you stand?? Yeah.. kind of inferiority complex I could have but instead, he proved to be an inspiration for me to always do and learn more and more.

Life is not forever, but the legacy you leave as a learner and doer is indefinite and forever.

Are you really humble or you just have no idea what you are doing in life?

People with vision become more humble when they succeed in the manifestation of their vision as they know how many struggles it took them to reach there. People with useless unhealthy ego become humble only when they fail as they are left with no other choice as they become perplexed or stay stuck in that place having no to little vision about what to do next.

It’s not only a difference between vision and ego. It’s also a difference between dominant types with a vision and submissive types having no vision. The latter ones usually run towards small-term and superficial goals like “I want to be famous”, “I want to earn money”, “I want to be popular” etc. and if you ask them exactly what they want to do and how, they usually have no clear answer. The former ones the those who have a long-term and large scale vision. They do not go behind short-term dopamine boosters. They are more humble when they keep on succeeding as they know that their success is just one of the steps to fulfil their vision, and their long-term vision is not only the self-serving one like those so-called failed humble ones. Even when they fail, they cannot leave their warrior spirit which the latter submissive types with no vision get intimidated by and can’t digest.

Last but not the least, my views seem to be arrogant to every hypocrite who is humble only when he/she is failing or losing, and uber egoistic n never humble when winning.

Abstract digital art..

“Inexplicable roots of connection between two souls” -My Interpretation About This Painting.

I will be very glad to know how you are going to perceive it. This is one of my most abstract paintings which I just painted within seconds (maybe it took one minute) and didn’t even think for once what I was doing or what I was intending to do; so, there is some unconscious n subconscious meaning behind it.

(First published on 19th July, 2021)

Difference in reaction

Not love.

Please don’t tell me how much you self-sabotaged yourself for anybody,

It’s just a form of self abuse;

And if you cannot love yourself enough not to self-sabotage

Then you cannot love anyone else, it’s true,

And to me

showing your weaknesses in the name of love is of no use.

(First published on 29th oct, 2020)

Loads in depression.

Sometimes, your biggest achievement is to talk while you have no mental energy to even speak a word,

do all of your works of the day while you have no physical energy either,

And to smile when all you feel is emptiness,

To have hope while all you want is to scream and cry out loud not knowing what to do about what’s bothering you.

(Originally posted on 12th june,2020, when I was in severe depression)

Grateful for your presence.

This post is just to thank everyone here who stays patient with me. Sometimes, I cannot interact via comments because I feel shut down due to personal reasons n find it difficult to talk to anyone. Sometimes, you all have to deal with my negative posts involving anguish described in anger n rage. My family as well has to deal with my furious nature. Although, it has reduced drastically in comparison to the last year but still I feel that nobody else than me deserves to deal with those vibes. The darkness should stay with the person to whom it belongs and be released too in a healthy way. I find writing and painting as the mediums to release the negativity that engulfs me, from which I am unable to release it through Art as I can only paint good stuff. It’s only through writing that I can release my worst of dark emotions, and it’s really very important for me to release anger, otherwise I get sick physically as well (fever n low immunity). So, I just want to thank you all (including my family) for being there in my lows as well, and not only in the times I write something good having some good vibes in it, full of love and beauty. You all are Amazing Ones..

Love and Blessing to You..💜💖

Quote: Intellect.

An Intellectual Person tries to understand different perspectives and then critically evaluates them 🧠

A Fool laughs at everything he Fails to understand. 🤡

A friendly reminder.

I am sorry if you stay in flight or fight mode and also think that it’s your fault. Just a friendly reminder that it’s not your fault and you also can feel safe. Just change the people around you and choose the right ones who can make you feel safe physically and mentally.

Universal guidance through dreams..

My dreams not only tell me what’s meant for me, they also tell who n what is being a block.. I don’t talk on n about many things because I am seeking answers from the universe n nobody else.. From symbolic forms to stark clear reality seen 10 minutes to 5-6 months before it actually manifested in real life. From clues to seeing actually what and who is going to create a hindrance in something and in what way, I see it in my dreams so clearly.. The dreams that feel like just a recap of experiences, I can feel that..The dreams that feel like they are going to be true, they really come true.

I am sharing this because today morning as well I saw one such dream and it was about my love. I don’t want to explain it here in details because then it would seem like a personal attack on a real person because what I saw in it was that someone was just trying to snatch him and trying to create misunderstandings between us, that too, by using religion in some way. Like that person trying to act innocent n helpful to him by including GOD’s Name in everything, that too, not to help, but to control him, and to make me fight with him.

I really won’t go into the details or mention names here because that would actually look like a personal attack on someone. But.. everything that I have written is what I actually saw and it was quite shocking to see because nothing like that was going on in my mind yesterday.

I don’t know, probably it was a clue from the universe, but I will let the time decide about its viability.

I would like to end it by saying, “You can stretch an end only like, and only as much as you can, with a chewing gum.

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