LIFE.

People usually think why I am mostly poker faced or smiling and not really smiling in my pics.

REASONS

Hard, heart-breaking and hurtful events: Death of 8 family members from which 7 of them died one after another with a gap of one or two years continuously. Heartbreaks in between. So, obviously depression was my normal mental state full of feelings of helplessness, fear of loss of the next one and the related anxiety, in which I had bouts of non-depressive episodes(Yep! Opposite of usual).

Heartbreak: The one that happened long ago (2015) was mentally abusive to me, during and after which I felt like I did not even have enough self-respect. I didn’t come in any relationship after that. After that I fell in love with my so-called best friend, who also deceived me in many ways, and then got married last year about which I got to know in march this year (no,he didn’t inform me. He was still hiding it) So, welcome to depression again !!

Broken friendships: Almost all of my friendships got broken from 2018-2020. Mind games, groupism, gossips, joining hands with enemies. The behaviour which I used to observe, forgive and forget before this time period, became intolerable to me. After all, for how many years(even decades) people were going to take me as a fool just because I was too tolerant, good-hearted, forgiving and friendly?? Definitely, those were not friends. Someone had to end it all, so I did.

My studies and work: Believe it or not, when you are involved in legal, political and psychological fields, you see and read cases that kinda mentally suck you in (Nasty mentally disturbing stuff). It all, in a way, gets embedded on your soul and psyche and you can never really undo that all information. Not that I don’t love what I do. I love my work and research but it’s also true that only the toughest ones can see and go through all that and still have a stability of mind to think through it all rationally.

Although I try my best to stay normal and succeed too; yet somehow it (all the bad stuff) still shows on my face, and most of the times, one can see it in my eyes.

That’s why, most of my old pictures show some kind of depression or sadness on my face and in my eyes.

Not that I am not hurt now or never get hurt or depressed, but every single hurt or disappointment reminds me of my past.

(PS- I was not writing about any of those people and/or events lately, anywhere on social media. Some people have really changed for the better and I also have moved on from that past.)

Dearest Universe,

I know chaos keeps happening. Nothing new in that. Take your time, but bless me with the best; the best for my mind, body, and soul. I love the way you get me through everything. I trust you.

Yours sincerely,

A firm believer.

Digital Art: Innocent Love

By Preet

Painted in July, 2021. 💛💫

A Distant Connection

This connection is pure,

now I am sure..

Never demanded

Unlike other soul sucking experiences,

Into my cup, you pour,

as I ever did to you;

with all the stumbles and disconnections in between;

sometimes it feels obscure,

sometimes it feels pure,

leaving either of us

Sometimes unbothered

Sometimes wanting for more.

Digital Art: Escaping through the loops

Digital Art by Preet

STAY AWAKE

A poem that I had written in 2018.

Ideal Partner. Random #1

Be with someone who would never make you feel like a failure but also someone who would go miles with you for your success as well. Going miles with you have nothing to do with doing your part of the work, but moving along with you while you do it for yourself. Also, expect such a partner only if you are willing to be That Person for them as well.

It is said that ambitious people have only two options- A supportive partner or No partner at all, and I can’t agree more.

Quote spoiled

Quote: You are gonna miss the girl who _______.

He: “Naah..”

“Not me.”

“NEVER”

Digital Art: Playful

Art by Preet

Quote: Resting is crucial

Something so general, still something that we all forget sometimes.

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