How far?

Some days I think of the Worst Future for Me; a really loathesome partner, disgusting people, none of my goals fulfilled, hatred for myself and others; and It’s All Motivated By Reality.

I don’t know how thinking of the clouds will get me out of shit. Law Of Attraction is nothing but a hope only.

How can one be hopeful about something all the time when one is pushed into the opposite direction time n time again??

And seriously, I don’t need any speech or help for that. I just want others to stay away, they make me think this way. It’s not me. I was never this much pessimistic.

BATTLES.

I was used to choosing my battles very wisely,

Till the time people began to take my silence, humility n modesty for me as a fool,

Now I feel like running all over those battles and those people

Ending them completely useless n worthless

Till I collect my cool.

One fixed pattern of psychopathic abusers.

One of the weakest people are those who first use ‘Survival of the fittest’ strategy when they have to abuse the other person but when they find the other one stronger than them, then they adopt the strategy of involving a third person or people to gain sympathy that they are being pushed down.

And this is where they are highly manipulative n yet highly weak mentally. They can never play fair n square, they go with the Whatever Works theme to keep their petty selves at an advantageous position in comparison to their self-created rivals.

Neither they know how to fight, nor they know how to stay in their lane. First they cross one’s boundaries, then they play the pity party in which they become the victim if the other one over-powers them in any way; or if they win their ego reaches new heights. The normal person will never take sympathy after fighting, take my words on that because a normal person is never afraid of spoiling his/her Image in front of others because character matters more than image to realest people.

And on top of that, even if you stay miles away from such weak ass psychopaths, they come to you to drag you in their shit and egoistic competition.

Somebody said it right, “IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO EVER WIN FROM A PSYCHOPATH, YOU ARE BOUND TO LOSE, IF NOT THIS WAY THEN THAT WAY….”

Mouths in business.

It’s amusing to know that I either am accepting of other peoples’ ways

or I simply don’t give a fuck,

But about all of my ways, behaviour and choices

Numerous mouths begin to quack like a dumb ass duck.

(MY LIFE, MY RULES.)

Standards set.

Let me tell you all- There are guys out there who respect girls. Not the special kind of respect, but as much as they respect their brethren. They do not fake goodness in front of others while doing sneaky stuff from behind the scenes. They do not make or let anyone hanging. They respect privacy. They love to the core of their heart. They tease you but not to trigger you but to make you feel goofy. They do not try to know about you to keep an upper hand over you or to stay a step ahead of you in their self created ‘love and courtship game’. They are focussed on their career. They have their shit together without using others or bringing others into their chaos. They are kind. They help others without expecting anything in return. They do not have an agenda behind doing anything good for others. They know the meaning of equal exchange. They are not inconsiderate; they do not boast only about what they did for others but also talk about what others did for them. They are affectionate. They are not addictive of alcohol, money or sex, as they respect themselves, their body and mind. They are focussed on good future despite being broken over and over again in the past. They have feelings and are not afraid to show them openly. They can be vulnerable and can control their vulnerability when required but never at the cost of breaking someone else heart. They are ambitious but not boastful about it. They know their worth but they are not over-confident about what they bring to the table, they let their actions talk. They are not cynical about the womenfolk without any reason or cause. They do not hate or play mind games with women secretly while playing good and charming from the front. They are assertive, not aggressive. They know their strengths as well as their weaknesses and they do not project their weaknesses onto others. They are competitive but at the right place i.e. in their career and talents, not with one or two other people. They appreciate beauty of other females but never at the cost of their lover’s sense of security. They are not jealous and possessive when their lover has men as friends. They think about the world at large and they think about their family as their world as well. They respect their parents and still can tell them where they go wrong politely without feeling guilty about it. They are passionate for love and they are passionate for their ambitions.

BIG RESPECT FOR SUCH GUYS.

And having said that, if somebody is not exactly one of those guys, I really don’t want him in my life.

These standards of character and behaviour may be way too much for a lot of Boys but only basic for those Praise-worthy Men.

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Unhealthy relationships- Deal breakers.

Deal breakers in any relationship:

Trying to trigger insecurity.

Trying to make jealous.

Running away to someone else whenever it gets tough to stay.

Being unapologetic and unreasonable together for a single action.

Disrespecting over and over again.

Questioning and judging every action of other that goes against one’s advantageous position.

Non-reciprocity.

Dishonesty and disloyalty.

Degrading and provoking other despite one being faulty first.

Playing single despite being in a relationship.

Triangulation by comparing them with a third party.

Manipulation.

Gaslighting.

Inconsistency for a long time; on and off many a times.

Blame-game by blaming them for things that one actually does to them and against them secretly.

Creating confusion in other’s mind to take advantage of the situation.

If any of these incidents happen more that twice, it’s that person’s personality and not a mistake. You need to cut off such person from your life. You do not need that kind of toxicity, in order to function properly. Let them be all that you don’t want in your life, and give upon the idea of changing them. Nothing can change somebody who is comfortable in doing something for a long period of time and if it results into your disavantage-physical, mental, emotional and/or social, then that person is a liability and a burden on you, and no amount of your love, respect, loyalty, honesty, free spirit, achievements or cooperation is going to change them. Please give up and live your life peacefully.

Paradox.

My sense of independence is my biggest fetter

I rebel where most people won’t

And cooperate where most people don’t

Because I want something different

Different from what they know n what they are used to

I want something unexplored

Where they will never let me go n do what I intend to do

So I stay away

Pushing everyone away

Because I want to breath, think, feel and do everything freely

As you can’t control air

And if you do it turns into a storm

I do the same

And break every chain to stay free

But my sense of freedom fetters me

It doesn’t let me come close to anyone

Bcz I don’t want to be controlled with their judgements

I just want to live n love freely.

MY QUOTE.

It’s naive to think that those who love you know everything about you,

mostly, those who are envious of you know every tiny detail of anything that you let out anywhere.

Stay away from fake helpers(psychopaths) in order to really heal.

If you really want to heal, do not let any psychopath from your past help you even a bit. Some of them just want to boost their ego by doing so and others want to get something from you again, specially when you have had an experience of their selfishness in the past in the same sequence. If you let it happen, then the burden is put on you that you did not pay back, and then you will find yourself in the same loop of taking and giving ration of 1:2 (or maybe more). It’s not in the blood of some people to help without expecting something in return. Manipulation begins by giving you crumbs first and then expecting the whole loaf in return which you cannot afford over n over again with the same people and left with nothing in the end. If you will be unable to return the favour or will give equally and yet not what they want from you in return, you will be called selfish; if you will return them well and stop giving at some point, they will call you selfish again or somebody having no integrity; whereas if you will deny to get any help, you will be called egoistic. In any situation, you will be blamed for anything you will do just to keep you tied to their little finger or to make you a doormat for their mental and emotional filth. Some of those bitches would love to see you suffer emotionally because of their own miserable mentality. Here, let me tell you, being called egoistic for cutting them off is much much better than going through the same manipulative loop, getting your energy drained completely, losing a lot of relationships, your ability to trust anyone, your mental and physical health, etc. You have to remember that this psychopathy(narcissistic disorder) has no cure. It’s better to kick those people out of your life rather than being manipulated immensely, just because you want to look like a good person. You will find some much better people in the future for sure who will match your level of honesty, loyalty and integrity.