LIFE.

People usually think why I am mostly poker faced or smiling and not really smiling in my pics.

REASONS

Hard, heart-breaking and hurtful events: Death of 8 family members from which 7 of them died one after another with a gap of one or two years continuously. Heartbreaks in between. So, obviously depression was my normal mental state full of feelings of helplessness, fear of loss of the next one and the related anxiety, in which I had bouts of non-depressive episodes(Yep! Opposite of usual).

Heartbreak: The one that happened long ago (2015) was mentally abusive to me, during and after which I felt like I did not even have enough self-respect. I didn’t come in any relationship after that. After that I fell in love with my so-called best friend, who also deceived me in many ways, and then got married last year about which I got to know in march this year (no,he didn’t inform me. He was still hiding it) So, welcome to depression again !!

Broken friendships: Almost all of my friendships got broken from 2018-2020. Mind games, groupism, gossips, joining hands with enemies. The behaviour which I used to observe, forgive and forget before this time peried became intolerable to me. After all, for how many years(even decades) people were going to take me as a fool just because I was too tolerant, good-hearted, forgiving and friendly?? Definitely, those were not friends. Someone had to end it all, so I did.

My studies and work: Believe it or not, when you are involved in legal, political and psychological fields, you see and read cases that kinda mental suck you in (Nasty mentally disturbing stuff). It all, in a way, gets embedded on your soul and psyche and you can never really undo that all information. Not that I don’t love what I do. I love my work and research but it’s also true that only the toughest ones can see and go through all that and still have a stability of mind to think through it all rationally.

Although I try my best to stay normal and succeed too; yet somehow it (all the bad stuff) still shows on my face, and most of the times, one can see it in my eyes.

That’s why, most of my old pictures show some kind of depression or sadness on my face and in my eyes.

Not that I am not hurt now or never get hurt or depressed, but every single hurt or disappointment reminds me of my past.

(PS- I was not writing about any of those people and/or events lately, anywhere on social media. Some people have really changed for the better and I also have moved on from that past.)

Strong Stamina

It all comes in waves;

you just have to know how to swim,

and most importantly,

to build stamina to swim

in its opposite direction !!

(23rd Sept, 2022)

Pity 👎

Despite having many good neighbourers, there is always that filthy one, who holds grudges for years, that too, with a dead one from your family.

SHAMELESS LOSER..!!

My Nature ❤💫

Depth,

Intense feeling,

The utmost sincerity

in all situations, especially in love.

Misundertandings??

This year I am quite high on “Your misunderstandings about me and what I write or say are your problems, Not Mine, specially when you didn’t even flinch a little to clear them out. You can live with your delusions. That doesn’t come under my accountability.”

And it goes for everyone.

BS of LS People

Every typical low standard person belonging to a middle-class to a girl- “Do you do house-chores?” That too not in a casual way, but in an authoritative sense; like it’s her job to do it.

They don’t even think as a second thought to ask “How much do you earn??”

Sometimes I really want to reply with “I am looking for a house-keeper/helper. When are you joining??” But I know that I’d be the rude/cruel one then.

So nope ! I let them LS B**ches stay that way.

[Note: I have specifically said ‘ low standard person’ by which I do not mean every middle class has low standards or has low standard person(s)]

Quote of the day

PC- Unknown

A friendly reminder to everyone. ❤💫

Dearest Universe,

I know chaos keeps happening. Nothing new in that. Take your time, but bless me with the best; the best for my mind, body, and soul. I love the way you get me through everything. I trust you.

Yours sincerely,

A firm believer.

Blessed !!

Baaki sabb toh theek hai par kbhi 2 din pizza, brownies, chocolava cake, tacos, chocolate shake, stuffed garlic bread, pizza-burger kha ke baad 5 kg weight kamm hua hai??

💃💃💃💃💃🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Translation: All other things aside, ever lost 5 kg weight after eating pizza, brownies, chocolava cake, tacos, chocolate shake, stuffed garlic bread, pizza-burger for 2 days?? 💃💃💃💃💃🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Okay..Let me explain this through science now. There is no miracle in it. Actually, if an individual creates calorie deficit for a week or more by either taking lesser calories than required or by doing cardio exercise or by a combination of both but his/her body weight does not reduce even in grams, it means that that person’s lipids (fat cells) are being converted into energy n water but his/her tryglecerides are storing water (daily water intake) in the place of those lipids until the brain signals them to release that water, AND when that person takes carbohydrates to his/her mind’s satisfaction, then the brain sends signals to trilglycerides to release that excessively stored water. In short, the efforts made for days give results in a day sometimes, in weight loss. I said “I am blessed” earlier because at least that carbs intake didn’t increase my weight, rather it helped in showing good results of my efforts. Also, stress causes one to store water weight.

I know about it from a very long time (9 years) and that’s why I do not stop my efforts no matter how long it takes to show the results. (In everything though)

Who cares??

Some people get really offended by an idea which doesn’t fit their orthodox ways, but, who cares??

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