Reminiscing my nature.

I can’t even explain how I think. Many live in and for experiences. I really don’t seek them. I don’t seek events to make memories about them. I don’t think that we are what we create or some experiences can create us (ok particularly me here). How I take experiences is purely the mental stimulators or catalysts for different thinking. As far as I remember nothing has changed me much. Those who know me now or at whatever period of time they might have known me may think that I have changed a lot. But that’s not true. They have only seen my behaviour for a short period of time n for a few events or so on but my basic nature has always been like this only.

I was always quiet in front of the outsiders (school, college, relatives functions, strangers etc.) and quiet in my own home maybe for eternity.. but.. whenever I wanted to socialise I was one hella fun person. I was always the one who organised family functions to the T (not the labour part, ok). I was always sporty whenever anyone came to the house (n got comfy in the family) to play a game or two. I made jokes whenever I observed something laugh-worthy in the surroundings. I was analysing situations, people’s behaviour and dynamics of different kinds right from my very childhood (like since the age of 6-7 years old). I always observed a lot. Like really.. I can very confidently say that I filter about 95-98% of things that I observe just because I find them quite useless including people who think that they can always sneak, tresspass, abuse n escape.. “Nope ! You didn’t. I did let you because you are not important at all.” If you think that I have become angrier, that too, is in my nature by birth, though the outlets have changed. I used to store it all or tended to flush off that energy by playing cricket for two hours daily in the evening (though with my brother n father only). It was really a good release of energy then. Now I feel like not storing any shit in my mind n release it all through words. If we talk about confidence. I always had a very good amount of self-confidence but I was always quiet about it because I was getting regular recognition about my capability through professors n results etc. Now I have to show it in other ways because of the wake of social media as in this era if you don’t verbalise or show your capabilities, then you are considered not to have them at all and those who are ept at showing off, become successful, though they might have half of your capabilities.

The point is.. I was always more or less similar..Not much has changed.. Neither my nature, nor my strength.. It’s just that those who have started to know different sides of me or my deeper layers, they think that I have changed a lot; they actually never knew me. Really.. Never..

Strangest thing about me: I do the things, I hate to do, the most. This one I still cannot understand why. Sooner or later, I end up doing things that I really hate.

Strongest point about me: I really, and by this I mean REALLY, I don’t give a fuck about who thinks what about me.

Weakest point about me: I won’t actualise something until I have done it to perfection, exactly the way I visualised it, and even after reaching that point I keep polishing it so that it can reach a point to my utmost satisfaction.

The best thing I find about my life: No matter how filthy situations, events or people I deal with, my bounce back game is strong AF, stronger than many, and I don’t mean it by the show off part, I mean it about things considered valuable.

(Originally posted on 28th Dec, 2020)

😭 Pun..

How intelligent of me to think that either my phone’s audio or my ear-plugs stopped functioning while I didn’t even put the ear-plugs in my ears.

Let’s Update..

Netflix and chill is outdated,

Let’s cuddle, steal kisses, and share unshared stories.

(First published on 16th may,21)

Once an Avid-Reader..

Just a list of Books I have had read in the past, online. The list is not exhaustive as there were books and series of books like Harry Potter series-my first ever novel reading (in school n college), Pride and Prejudice(college), Othello(college), etc. and then donated those books as I didn’t feel like reading anything again, once read. The tick marked ones in the given list are still downloaded in my google books play directory, others with the mark of ‘downloadable’ are those which I removed from my downloaded list, but which can be downloaded again.

I am sharing this because I was such a avid-reader of novels that touched my heart and piqued my mind’s curiosity to delve into them more and more, that I even finished reading two-three books of the same novel series in a single day. But then I stopped reading novels about two years ago and other non-fictional books by the end of 2019. The reason is purely lack of interest. I just stopped delving into and/or dwelling into the fantasy world, because when you read a novel, you somehow can connect yourself to the characters and I didn’t feel like doing that anymore because my personal life’s situations got changed drastically, and thus, I felt that I could never relate to any fiction. Probably, in the future I will be able to connect with and read more of fiction as well as non-fiction, but, as of now, I have bid adieu to this reading addiction, and I am sure that it’s for good. 🙂

PS- Please zoom in the image to read the names of the soft copies of books. I could not write their names as the list is long.

NEW BLOG..

New blog

Not love.

Please don’t tell me how much you self-sabotaged yourself for anybody,

It’s just a form of self abuse;

And if you cannot love yourself enough not to self-sabotage

Then you cannot love anyone else, it’s true,

And to me

showing your weaknesses in the name of love is of no use.

(First published on 29th oct, 2020)

DIGITAL-ART:CONNECTION

For some reasons,

we all are connected.

(Please do not download the artwork without explicit permission. Copyrights reserved by the author of the website. Thank you. ❤)

TWIN-FLAME VIBES..

Here is the secret:

When you are twin-flames you can literally feel the other person’s energy in you. You mirror each-other’s energy, not behaviour. If one person feels love, the other also feels love, perhaps for somebody else and not for his/her twin. When one feels sexual, other somehow gets aroused as well. When one is unwell or mentally depressed, the other feels similar energy. It is more about similarity of vibes and energy, more or less, mirroring each-other in totality which may sometimes be too strong to even distinguish who does it belong to (the person or his/her twin). Object for those vibes, feelings n emotions can be anybody but they are felt in the heart of both parts of the twin-flame.

I have experienced it many a times, though I was wrong about the object of those feelings, vibes n emotions; they were barely for me (both good n bad). Now when I stay in isolation and feel anything, I try to recognise if my emotions really belong to me or not. Out of the blue emotions which seem like completely out of your current mood and circumstances may be given to you by your twin.

Mirroring behaviour of somebody openly is just a part of attraction or infatuation i.e. doing the same or similar thing after seeing someone doing it. It has nothing to do with twin-flames. It is social behaviour, nothing spiritual. Twin-flames spiritual mirroring goes much beyond that and one cannot even know most of the times why they are feeling certain types of feelings.

Energy never lies; if you feel it’s not your energy, it definitely belongs to your twin felt by you but you have to be extra awake to recognize energies to know the difference.

(First published on 2nd Nov, 2020)

Worst Day Of My Life.

The day of your abode will always be one of the worst days of my life, Papa. It’s been eight years but I have not completely healed since that day and cannot forget the way it happened so shockingly and how much pain you were in for months. I wish you could live much longer. But I know that your soul is still there, taking care of me and guiding me through many difficulties. I cannot write much here but you know that you will always be one of the best persons of my life and the best man I have ever known. I could not give you much in life, you left when it was your time to receive anything from me but I hope that I could make you very proud one day particularly and with my deeds every day. Meet me in my dreams till we meet again. Love you. Missing you.

Your Proud Daughter. 💜

Insecto pacto 🐜🐝

Humans should learn

from ants and bees, So social

Yet they never gossip.

(Written 7th nov, 2020