Bond

Written in 2019. Sharing it out of context. 🙂

Happy Dussehra to Everyone ❤💫

Note-Dussehra is a festival of India which is celebrated as a symbol of triumph of truth/good/righteous/angelic over deceit/bad/wrong/demonic/evil on the basis of an Ramayana-An Epic Story in Hindu Religion. 🙂

Exam on a rainy day-A Childhood Memory

One of my favourite memories of childhood is, going for an exam on a rainy day.

Why??

Because of the following reasons:

1. Freshness of air and the smell of the earth on a rainy day just calms the anxiety to a great extent, and it used to do so back then as well.

2. Mess as well as joy it used to create amongst kids. More squeeling and screaming with joy than the usual. 😂

3. Cool breeze and cool weather makes me think better, and it used to back then as well.

4. No morning assembly. What a relief !! It means lesser physical movement and thus more energy stored that could be used in writing AND more time to revise last minute. Literally no mental distraction.

5. Rain usually makes me happy-happy right from my very childhood. 💃💃💃💃💃

Photo by Andrew Neel on Pexels.com

Truly Madly.

I cower under the influence of my own love

That I turn out to be so fearless as a result

Fearless in loving you

Fearless in fighting with myself to not to love you,

It’s insane

That I always lose

But my love always wins.

(First published on 19th Aug, 2020)

LIFE.

People usually think why I am mostly poker faced or smiling and not really smiling in my pics.

REASONS

Hard, heart-breaking and hurtful events: Death of 8 family members from which 7 of them died one after another with a gap of one or two years continuously. Heartbreaks in between. So, obviously depression was my normal mental state full of feelings of helplessness, fear of loss of the next one and the related anxiety, in which I had bouts of non-depressive episodes(Yep! Opposite of usual).

Heartbreak: The one that happened long ago (2015) was mentally abusive to me, during and after which I felt like I did not even have enough self-respect. I didn’t come in any relationship after that. After that I fell in love with my so-called best friend, who also deceived me in many ways, and then got married last year about which I got to know in march this year (no,he didn’t inform me. He was still hiding it) So, welcome to depression again !!

Broken friendships: Almost all of my friendships got broken from 2018-2020. Mind games, groupism, gossips, joining hands with enemies. The behaviour which I used to observe, forgive and forget before this time period, became intolerable to me. After all, for how many years(even decades) people were going to take me as a fool just because I was too tolerant, good-hearted, forgiving and friendly?? Definitely, those were not friends. Someone had to end it all, so I did.

My studies and work: Believe it or not, when you are involved in legal, political and psychological fields, you see and read cases that kinda mentally suck you in (Nasty mentally disturbing stuff). It all, in a way, gets embedded on your soul and psyche and you can never really undo that all information. Not that I don’t love what I do. I love my work and research but it’s also true that only the toughest ones can see and go through all that and still have a stability of mind to think through it all rationally.

Although I try my best to stay normal and succeed too; yet somehow it (all the bad stuff) still shows on my face, and most of the times, one can see it in my eyes.

That’s why, most of my old pictures show some kind of depression or sadness on my face and in my eyes.

Not that I am not hurt now or never get hurt or depressed, but every single hurt or disappointment reminds me of my past.

(PS- I was not writing about any of those people and/or events lately, anywhere on social media. Some people have really changed for the better and I also have moved on from that past.)

Strong Stamina

It all comes in waves;

you just have to know how to swim,

and most importantly,

to build stamina to swim

in its opposite direction !!

(23rd Sept, 2022)

Meditation- fancy enough for you??

People hype so much about meditation in terms of taking a separate time for it, maintaining a posture, eyes closed etc. etc. that it’s almost impossible for them to comprehend that someone can be in a constant state of meditation without doing a specific set of actions and postures for maintaining that state. Meditation is all about deep breathing, clarity of thoughts, and mindfulness. If you are just obsessed with its trendy and fancy part, then you are just a ball of mess with a veil of spirituality over you, which will not serve you or anyone else in the long run.

Meditation, mindfulness, spirituality, soul connection to oneself- They all begin and stay inside of one’s mind.

Don’t fool yourself and others.

Digital Art: Innocent Love

By Preet

Painted in July, 2021. 💛💫

A Distant Connection

This connection is pure,

now I am sure..

Never demanded

Unlike other soul sucking experiences,

Into my cup, you pour,

as I ever did to you;

with all the stumbles and disconnections in between;

sometimes it feels obscure,

sometimes it feels pure,

leaving either of us

Sometimes unbothered

Sometimes wanting for more.

Digital Art: Escaping through the loops

Digital Art by Preet
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