Tired.

I am infinitely and intensely tired of life,

And nothing seems like a hope to survive.

Law of attraction in summation.

You attract your own energy, nothing from the outside. If you do not know your worth, you attract people who consider you worthless. If you do not want something to work for you, you won’t get it. If you have some traits in your subconscious mind for a partner, every other kind of person will be repelled/removed from your life sooner or later. If you want to change yourself, you have to visualize that change in you. If you want to become something, you have to believe it in your whole being. That’s all law of attraction is. You attract your energy, your thoughts, your vibes, your aura to you.
Now, a few of you may think “I am a healer. Usually toxic people get attracted to me. I don’t think this is how law of attraction works. I never wanted that.”
My answer is your innate nature is that of a healer and toxic people need spiritual healing and your mind subconsciously desires somebody to heal, so, toxic people get attracted to you unknowingly. But you can save yourself by creating boundaries n by directing your energy to be more specific to heal yourself first or the innocent victims of toxic abusers or nobody at all particularly and by only teaching people how to heal themselves.

(8th jan, 2021)

How OCD and depression exist together and feel??

Depression alongwith aggravated OCD makes one feel hyper-alert while having no energy to be alert about anything. One has no desire to know anything anymore yet stays busy to correct something which one doesn’t even know what is wrong or the wrong which actually doesn’t exist.

Why would you count things, literally every single little thing as little as your breathing, to correct something that has nothing to do with it?? What would you correct that isn’t even wrong in the first place??

The anticipation of something to go wrong is the reason behind OCD; something that someone holds very dearly or important in one’s life, and if that thing has gone wrong multiple times in the past, then the person becomes extra cautious or obsessed or say moves into hyper-mode of anxiety about it. It’s frustrating and utterly exhausting, both mentally and physically.

Don’t tell me meditation n shit helps in this. It is a problem of rationalizing irrational thoughts and attaching irrational behaviour (compulsions) to those irrational thoughts by somehow rationalizing them after observing patterns between them.

Add depression to it; And you have enormous amount of inner conflict while you have no energy or desire to even do the bare minimum of daily life, and sometimes even breathing and staying awake feels like a burden to the mind.

Quote of the day

Learning to fly…..

You may as well,
To save yourself from drowning in marshy waters,
Want to learn to fly.
💞

(Originally posted on 6th jan,2021)

Loud is mostly a reaction, real abuse and provocation is mostly secret, silent, and in the cues..

(20th April, 2021)

QUOTE-Peace 💜..

It’s a good feeling when people don’t know you anymore. They can’t take advantage of what they don’t know…..

(Originally posted on 3rd Jan, 2021)

The right one.

When you are with the right one,

The flowers may not bloom faster,

The springs may not pour different,

The sun may not rise faster,

The moon may not look different,

But everything becomes easy.

(2nd feb, 22)

Do not contain your power !

The worst thing you will do to yourself is to contain your power to soothe other people’s ego. Let them be petty. Let them be miserable. Let them be the complainant. Let them be foolish. Let them be toxic dramatic. Let them be the high-handed in their own world. You can kick their asses without even touching them, just by being yourself, and just by doing you with your whole energy speaking for you. You may think that those you love or loved will appreciate how much you shrink yourself to balm their insecurity and inferiority complexes, but they will not appreciate it. Some of them will say that they never asked you to do so. Some will blame you saying that you could choose different or better. The blame in the end goes to you. Some will say that you did not do enough for them, no matter how tough you were living for them, or they wanted different. How much can you shrink yourself for such thankless petty people?? Why would not you choose yourself rather than those ugly souls?? Hear me clear ! It’s okay to hurt people and be unkind to them if they expect you to contain yourself in a little box, frustrating yourself with all that energy wanting to expand yet trying to explode you in that little space. You do not deserve to explode when you are meant to expand, and trust me, you can expand beyond your own expectations, specially when people around you do not want you to see your worth.

I am freaking powerful and I love it.-Preet

(Published on 30th june,21)

Reminiscing my nature.

I can’t even explain how I think. Many live in and for experiences. I really don’t seek them. I don’t seek events to make memories about them. I don’t think that we are what we create or some experiences can create us (ok particularly me here). How I take experiences is purely the mental stimulators or catalysts for different thinking. As far as I remember nothing has changed me much. Those who know me now or at whatever period of time they might have known me may think that I have changed a lot. But that’s not true. They have only seen my behaviour for a short period of time n for a few events or so on but my basic nature has always been like this only.

I was always quiet in front of the outsiders (school, college, relatives functions, strangers etc.) and quiet in my own home maybe for eternity.. but.. whenever I wanted to socialise I was one hella fun person. I was always the one who organised family functions to the T (not the labour part, ok). I was always sporty whenever anyone came to the house (n got comfy in the family) to play a game or two. I made jokes whenever I observed something laugh-worthy in the surroundings. I was analysing situations, people’s behaviour and dynamics of different kinds right from my very childhood (like since the age of 6-7 years old). I always observed a lot. Like really.. I can very confidently say that I filter about 95-98% of things that I observe just because I find them quite useless including people who think that they can always sneak, tresspass, abuse n escape.. “Nope ! You didn’t. I did let you because you are not important at all.” If you think that I have become angrier, that too, is in my nature by birth, though the outlets have changed. I used to store it all or tended to flush off that energy by playing cricket for two hours daily in the evening (though with my brother n father only). It was really a good release of energy then. Now I feel like not storing any shit in my mind n release it all through words. If we talk about confidence. I always had a very good amount of self-confidence but I was always quiet about it because I was getting regular recognition about my capability through professors n results etc. Now I have to show it in other ways because of the wake of social media as in this era if you don’t verbalise or show your capabilities, then you are considered not to have them at all and those who are ept at showing off, become successful, though they might have half of your capabilities.

The point is.. I was always more or less similar..Not much has changed.. Neither my nature, nor my strength.. It’s just that those who have started to know different sides of me or my deeper layers, they think that I have changed a lot; they actually never knew me. Really.. Never..

Strangest thing about me: I do the things, I hate to do, the most. This one I still cannot understand why. Sooner or later, I end up doing things that I really hate.

Strongest point about me: I really, and by this I mean REALLY, I don’t give a fuck about who thinks what about me.

Weakest point about me: I won’t actualise something until I have done it to perfection, exactly the way I visualised it, and even after reaching that point I keep polishing it so that it can reach a point to my utmost satisfaction.

The best thing I find about my life: No matter how filthy situations, events or people I deal with, my bounce back game is strong AF, stronger than many, and I don’t mean it by the show off part, I mean it about things considered valuable.

(Originally posted on 28th Dec, 2020)

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