Vibrant in dark world.

Art reflects one's soul. ๐ŸŒบโค๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’›

It’s not easy

To stay vibrant

In a dark world,

Where the shadows try to eclipse

My mind,

Where I pay the price

For being kind,

But I choose

To rise

repeatedly

against the wind,

Against the grinding grain,

I hope one day it will be acknowledged

My efforts won’t go in vain.

(Copyrights reserved on both, words and digital artwork. Thank you for reading. ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’ซ๐ŸŒž๐ŸŒบโค๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’™)

Wandering soul..

Wanderlusting a different place

every single week,

I still have the audacity to say

I am not a freak,

I don’t know where I will truly find solace,

Since I know his arms are my truly peaceful place.

(Originally posted on 9th march, 2021)

Reminiscing my nature.

I can’t even explain how I think. Many live in and for experiences. I really don’t seek them. I don’t seek events to make memories about them. I don’t think that we are what we create or some experiences can create us (ok particularly me here). How I take experiences is purely the mental stimulators or catalysts for different thinking. As far as I remember nothing has changed me much. Those who know me now or at whatever period of time they might have known me may think that I have changed a lot. But that’s not true. They have only seen my behaviour for a short period of time n for a few events or so on but my basic nature has always been like this only.

I was always quiet in front of the outsiders (school, college, relatives functions, strangers etc.) and quiet in my own home maybe for eternity.. but.. whenever I wanted to socialise I was one hella fun person. I was always the one who organised family functions to the T (not the labour part, ok). I was always sporty whenever anyone came to the house (n got comfy in the family) to play a game or two. I made jokes whenever I observed something laugh-worthy in the surroundings. I was analysing situations, people’s behaviour and dynamics of different kinds right from my very childhood (like since the age of 6-7 years old). I always observed a lot. Like really.. I can very confidently say that I filter about 95-98% of things that I observe just because I find them quite useless including people who think that they can always sneak, tresspass, abuse n escape.. “Nope ! You didn’t. I did let you because you are not important at all.” If you think that I have become angrier, that too, is in my nature by birth, though the outlets have changed. I used to store it all or tended to flush off that energy by playing cricket for two hours daily in the evening (though with my brother n father only). It was really a good release of energy then. Now I feel like not storing any shit in my mind n release it all through words. If we talk about confidence. I always had a very good amount of self-confidence but I was always quiet about it because I was getting regular recognition about my capability through professors n results etc. Now I have to show it in other ways because of the wake of social media as in this era if you don’t verbalise or show your capabilities, then you are considered not to have them at all and those who are ept at showing off, become successful, though they might have half of your capabilities.

The point is.. I was always more or less similar..Not much has changed.. Neither my nature, nor my strength.. It’s just that those who have started to know different sides of me or my deeper layers, they think that I have changed a lot; they actually never knew me. Really.. Never..

Strangest thing about me: I do the things, I hate to do, the most. This one I still cannot understand why. Sooner or later, I end up doing things that I really hate.

Strongest point about me: I really, and by this I mean REALLY, I don’t give a fuck about who thinks what about me.

Weakest point about me: I won’t actualise something until I have done it to perfection, exactly the way I visualised it, and even after reaching that point I keep polishing it so that it can reach a point to my utmost satisfaction.

The best thing I find about my life: No matter how filthy situations, events or people I deal with, my bounce back game is strong AF, stronger than many, and I don’t mean it by the show off part, I mean it about things considered valuable.

(Originally posted on 28th Dec, 2020)

NEW BLOG..

New blog

Worst Day Of My Life.

The day of your abode will always be one of the worst days of my life, Papa. It’s been eight years but I have not completely healed since that day and cannot forget the way it happened so shockingly and how much pain you were in for months. I wish you could live much longer. But I know that your soul is still there, taking care of me and guiding me through many difficulties. I cannot write much here but you know that you will always be one of the best persons of my life and the best man I have ever known. I could not give you much in life, you left when it was your time to receive anything from me but I hope that I could make you very proud one day particularly and with my deeds every day. Meet me in my dreams till we meet again. Love you. Missing you.

Your Proud Daughter. ๐Ÿ’œ

Digital Art-fire or flower??

Fire or flower??

I would love to know how you are going to perceive it..

(The shared image is the copyrighted work by the author. Kindly do not use the image without explicit permission. Thank you.โค)

Tragic irony..

You will see a jealous soul never growing,

It will burn despite having everything

That you love,

And it will always be

Because it can never do

The way you love.

Impossible.

All the things I had to do for you

All the things I had to say to you

Have now stayed in my heart forever,

And I can’t blame only you

Because it’s true

That we could be many things

But we both chose to make it

‘IMPOSSIBLE’ forever.

Disruption..

And if we can make it together,

What’s making the gap so wide?

(28th dec,2020)

Happy Birthday, Bua. โค

Birthdays are meant to be celebrated,

A few end up being mourned as well.

Originally posted on 11th june, 2020. I had written about a birthday being mourned because my bua (eldest paternal aunt) had died last year in April and on this day it’s her birthday. She will always be missed both in a happy and sad state of mind. Such a paradoxical feeling a birthday can bring. ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’”