Something constant.

I don’t need reasons to be happy, I need reasons to be sad or depressed and I never go on looking for those reasons. That’s why I avoid most people. I am a happy, productive and entertaining person basically but outside energy always (and I really mean ALWAYS) becomes a block or a shadow over my positive n optimistic personality, and then I cannot get rid of it for weeks or months. I have traumas that I still haven’t talked about to a single person on earth (literally nobody even if a few of you know many of my secrets, still there are some things I never tell anyone; neither family, nor bestest of friends in the past nor even a therapist) but I know really well how to give it my all to my future rather than sulking in the past. Attachments happen but I can easily get rid of it, basically being a detached person. Failures happen but I usually have 2-3 more plans after that. My life flows generally as I expect it to. But outside energy always happens to be a block or a shadow over my positives. If I keep any person away, he/she has directly or indirectly added blocks in my life. Why would anyone think that I’d like to invite the same kind of energy in my life again??? I really am not interested in Jumping in the mud or letting people throw it at me and then waste my time n energy in cleaning myself of it whereas the best option always is to look at it, ignore and avoid it and move forward. I don’t know how other people’s mind work, but if they don’t get this basic thing, then it’s completely their problem. I want to keep somebody close who can be equally positive, clear-minded and productive, provided I have not seen the otherwise in them in the past, although everybody can change into the former kind but probability is uncertain to me, and I avoid uncertainty now. I don’t want somebody to give me anything or to add anything to my life, be it happiness or love or anything materialistic. I just want AN EQUAL who knows how to take care of himself, can be happy on his own, manage well his possessions, be productive most of the time, love by heart n soul, has got rid of his past traumas or wounds and related defence mechanisms (although more or less those defences always stay there but it can be dealt with sensibly) and is very clear about what he wants from me, from himself, his career n life in general, so that we can thrive together rather than any of us being a burden on the other. PURE PARTNERSHIP, NEITHER OWNERSHIP NOR PARENT-CHILD DYNAMIC.

(Written and first published on 9th October, 2020)

Strength..

I loved myself through bits n pieces

Collected a tsunami of emotions in a tear-drop,

Shed it in a fraction of a second

And stood tall holding myself together, having within, a ray of hope.

(21st may, 21)

Abstract digital art..

“Inexplicable roots of connection between two souls” -My Interpretation About This Painting.

I will be very glad to know how you are going to perceive it. This is one of my most abstract paintings which I just painted within seconds (maybe it took one minute) and didn’t even think for once what I was doing or what I was intending to do; so, there is some unconscious n subconscious meaning behind it.

(First published on 19th July, 2021)

Pretty shades of gold..

Pretty shades of gold.. ๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ’ซ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‰

Various shades of gold which I had started drawing as an abstract painting but it ended up being conceptual art.

๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ’ซ๐ŸŒž

(12th Sept, 2021)

Heart and mind talking to you..

When you get a classy, sassy, loving yet a bit bad assy, with a lot of sexual appeal n fantasies, mind deep enough to drown you, and soul dope AF, trying to give you everything material and abstract, love, attention, affection, assurance, trust, friendship, loyalty, encouragement, empowerment and a secure future….

And you still want to stumble upon literally anyone willing to provide you not even half and sometimes nothing…

What should I take it as?? A SIGN??

Should I look for some temporary pleasure??

Let me tell you, my love is unconditional but access to me cannot be. I find it insulting and confusing when I express my true feelings and intentions to you, you tend to run away, and when I try to move you, you come back and try to chase, still not knowing what you want..

Try something different this time. Let me handle you this time my way. Try to let me be vulnerable with you. Try to calm down into the peace of your soul. Try to just stay.

I mean to share my life with you. I mean to grow with you. You can have your space. I also need my own. You can grow individually, we can grow together. You will never lose your realness with me, I promise, I never intend to control. Two completely free souls connected treading towards something beautiful, rising in every sphere of life rapidly and with breaks in between, that’s what I want with you.. I know you are a freedom lover.. So I am.. I know how exhausting it is to be controlled by anyone in any way and you hate it honestly.. But there are many things that I can’t write here, they are too personal to share openly. So, I just want you to open up your own heart towards it and then see what we can be.

(Published on 5th March, 2021)

Too much love.

There is never ‘too much love’

You just don’t know how to feel and appreciate it yet.

(First published on 21st Feb, 2021)

Self-worth..

I used to fit

into the tiniest box

that only had a wrapping paper looking like love,

I take up my whole space now,

the good n bad,

the clean n nasty,

and see who can fill me up with love

like oxygen somehow.

(Written on 30th oct, 2020)

I mean this n that. โค

Let’s do something that may leave me speechless,

And you wanting for more.

(First published on 1st Aug, 2020)

In the lap of mountains..

Picture by Preet (copyrights reserved)

Far away,

Beyond the concepts of wrong and right,

in the lap of mountains,

Under the sheet of cloud painted sky,

I will meet you there,

Away from everyone’s sight. -Preet

(First published on 6th Aug, 2021)

Universal guidance through dreams..

My dreams not only tell me what’s meant for me, they also tell who n what is being a block.. I don’t talk on n about many things because I am seeking answers from the universe n nobody else.. From symbolic forms to stark clear reality seen 10 minutes to 5-6 months before it actually manifested in real life. From clues to seeing actually what and who is going to create a hindrance in something and in what way, I see it in my dreams so clearly.. The dreams that feel like just a recap of experiences, I can feel that..The dreams that feel like they are going to be true, they really come true.

I am sharing this because today morning as well I saw one such dream and it was about my love. I don’t want to explain it here in details because then it would seem like a personal attack on a real person because what I saw in it was that someone was just trying to snatch him and trying to create misunderstandings between us, that too, by using religion in some way. Like that person trying to act innocent n helpful to him by including GOD’s Name in everything, that too, not to help, but to control him, and to make me fight with him.

I really won’t go into the details or mention names here because that would actually look like a personal attack on someone. But.. everything that I have written is what I actually saw and it was quite shocking to see because nothing like that was going on in my mind yesterday.

I don’t know, probably it was a clue from the universe, but I will let the time decide about its viability.

I would like to end it by saying, “You can stretch an end only like, and only as much as you can, with a chewing gum.

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