QOTD

By the time they think about getting started, you are already proud of yourself.

#14 My Bestie

Do you spend more time thinking about the future or the past? Why?

5% past, 15%future,20%present,60% Sleeping having more nightmares than sweet dreams. 😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I think more about future than the past because you can make up your mind for the future but you can only open wounds ftom the past if you think too much about it. So, I think about the past when I have to remember a mistake of my own, so that I try my best not to repeat it and to remind myself of the lessons learnt from the past, whenever needed. About future, I day-dream about my future partner, future of my family, and what actions I need to take for my desired outcomes. Present the most because that’s where you actually take actions. Sleep most of all because my body and mind needs it. I just can’t get up.

Something constant.

I don’t need reasons to be happy, I need reasons to be sad or depressed and I never go on looking for those reasons. That’s why I avoid most people. I am a happy, productive and entertaining person basically but outside energy always (and I really mean ALWAYS) becomes a block or a shadow over my positive n optimistic personality, and then I cannot get rid of it for weeks or months. I have traumas that I still haven’t talked about to a single person on earth (literally nobody even if a few of you know many of my secrets, still there are some things I never tell anyone; neither family, nor bestest of friends in the past nor even a therapist) but I know really well how to give it my all to my future rather than sulking in the past. Attachments happen but I can easily get rid of it, basically being a detached person. Failures happen but I usually have 2-3 more plans after that. My life flows generally as I expect it to. But outside energy always happens to be a block or a shadow over my positives. If I keep any person away, he/she has directly or indirectly added blocks in my life. Why would anyone think that I’d like to invite the same kind of energy in my life again??? I really am not interested in Jumping in the mud or letting people throw it at me and then waste my time n energy in cleaning myself of it whereas the best option always is to look at it, ignore and avoid it and move forward. I don’t know how other people’s mind work, but if they don’t get this basic thing, then it’s completely their problem. I want to keep somebody close who can be equally positive, clear-minded and productive, provided I have not seen the otherwise in them in the past, although everybody can change into the former kind but probability is uncertain to me, and I avoid uncertainty now. I don’t want somebody to give me anything or to add anything to my life, be it happiness or love or anything materialistic. I just want AN EQUAL who knows how to take care of himself, can be happy on his own, manage well his possessions, be productive most of the time, love by heart n soul, has got rid of his past traumas or wounds and related defence mechanisms (although more or less those defences always stay there but it can be dealt with sensibly) and is very clear about what he wants from me, from himself, his career n life in general, so that we can thrive together rather than any of us being a burden on the other. PURE PARTNERSHIP, NEITHER OWNERSHIP NOR PARENT-CHILD DYNAMIC.

(Written and first published on 9th October, 2020)

Strength..

I loved myself through bits n pieces

Collected a tsunami of emotions in a tear-drop,

Shed it in a fraction of a second

And stood tall holding myself together, having within, a ray of hope.

(21st may, 21)

Abstract digital art..

“Inexplicable roots of connection between two souls” -My Interpretation About This Painting.

I will be very glad to know how you are going to perceive it. This is one of my most abstract paintings which I just painted within seconds (maybe it took one minute) and didn’t even think for once what I was doing or what I was intending to do; so, there is some unconscious n subconscious meaning behind it.

(First published on 19th July, 2021)

Law of attraction in summation.

You attract your own energy, nothing from the outside. If you do not know your worth, you attract people who consider you worthless. If you do not want something to work for you, you won’t get it. If you have some traits in your subconscious mind for a partner, every other kind of person will be repelled/removed from your life sooner or later. If you want to change yourself, you have to visualize that change in you. If you want to become something, you have to believe it in your whole being. That’s all law of attraction is. You attract your energy, your thoughts, your vibes, your aura to you.
Now, a few of you may think “I am a healer. Usually toxic people get attracted to me. I don’t think this is how law of attraction works. I never wanted that.”
My answer is your innate nature is that of a healer and toxic people need spiritual healing and your mind subconsciously desires somebody to heal, so, toxic people get attracted to you unknowingly. But you can save yourself by creating boundaries n by directing your energy to be more specific to heal yourself first or the innocent victims of toxic abusers or nobody at all particularly and by only teaching people how to heal themselves.

(8th jan, 2021)

Learning to fly…..

You may as well,
To save yourself from drowning in marshy waters,
Want to learn to fly.
💞

(Originally posted on 6th jan,2021)

QUOTE-Peace 💜..

It’s a good feeling when people don’t know you anymore. They can’t take advantage of what they don’t know…..

(Originally posted on 3rd Jan, 2021)

Heart and mind talking to you..

When you get a classy, sassy, loving yet a bit bad assy, with a lot of sexual appeal n fantasies, mind deep enough to drown you, and soul dope AF, trying to give you everything material and abstract, love, attention, affection, assurance, trust, friendship, loyalty, encouragement, empowerment and a secure future….

And you still want to stumble upon literally anyone willing to provide you not even half and sometimes nothing…

What should I take it as?? A SIGN??

Should I look for some temporary pleasure??

Let me tell you, my love is unconditional but access to me cannot be. I find it insulting and confusing when I express my true feelings and intentions to you, you tend to run away, and when I try to move you, you come back and try to chase, still not knowing what you want..

Try something different this time. Let me handle you this time my way. Try to let me be vulnerable with you. Try to calm down into the peace of your soul. Try to just stay.

I mean to share my life with you. I mean to grow with you. You can have your space. I also need my own. You can grow individually, we can grow together. You will never lose your realness with me, I promise, I never intend to control. Two completely free souls connected treading towards something beautiful, rising in every sphere of life rapidly and with breaks in between, that’s what I want with you.. I know you are a freedom lover.. So I am.. I know how exhausting it is to be controlled by anyone in any way and you hate it honestly.. But there are many things that I can’t write here, they are too personal to share openly. So, I just want you to open up your own heart towards it and then see what we can be.

(Published on 5th March, 2021)

Only if it was possible.

I need to talk to silence,

Break the winds,

And colour the whole ocean red.

(26th April, 2020)