#7 My Bestie ❤💫

List your top 5 grocery store items.

Pasta-Whole wheat pasta preferred when available, otherwise I just like different shapes of it which are available in multi-purpose flour option only.

Milk or milkshake (Can)-A few flavours like chocolate, coffee, strawberry, vanilla, cardamom, are my mains. Not drinking milkshakes in winters as I am taking hot chocolate in the evening daily.

Hot chocolate Powder-Currently Cadbury’s.

Chocolates- Any and many.

Khakhra or Nachos-It’s a gujarati snack just like a whole tortilla fried and tastes like nachos and is made of maize and rice flour and salt amd spices. I try a different flavour at different orders. Or I eat nachos-cheeze flavoured or classic salted.

I just checked my latest grocery list, wordpress. It’s not a forever kind of a thing. Also, I usually eat indian food i.e. Roti (indian flatbread or tortilla made of whole wheat flour), lentils, mixed vegetable, rice, twice a day, daily. Coconut water upon waking up and gajar ka halwa i.e. pudding made of carrots twice a day about 50-60 gm each time, daily. ❤💫

Preferences.

I would rather die of eating chocolates than depression,

Of loving too much than not loving at all,

Of reading too much useful n useless stuff than ignorance,

Of over-thinking than under-working brain,

Of intensity than a dull life that others train.

(19th Sept, 2020)

Affirmations for february

https://yourchoicestlifestyle.com/2022/02/01/affirmations-for-february/

Found..

What are you left with now??

Everything I had before I began thinking that I was losing everything.

Impossible.

All the things I had to do for you

All the things I had to say to you

Have now stayed in my heart forever,

And I can’t blame only you

Because it’s true

That we could be many things

But we both chose to make it

‘IMPOSSIBLE’ forever.

An advice for Alpha females for marriage..

I want to give an advice to young women/girls who want to get married at some point in their life. Actually, there are many points that I want to discuss under this topic and you may also find many advices online as well as offline regarding marriage. But there is one point that I want to put some light on which is often ignored while considering a life partner.

If you are a woman who is ambitious, takes her own decisions, works her ass off, is a go-getter, and is a provider, in short, the one who has most of the qualities of an Alpha Female, you need to see the family structure of the man if you are interested in him for marriage or life partnership or relationship. I am saying this because I have seen this pattern a lot in society that when and if the females of the family in which a man has grown up, did not work in office, and were by nature-submissive, coy, and silent, that man is going to want the same from his life-partner sub-consciously. It doesn’t matter how much educated or modernised he became, the years (decades) of mental training he got from his family sub-consciously is not going to change even if he finds the otherwise for himself consciously. He would want you to be the same meek and coy woman. Your boundaries will be aggressive to him. Your desires and ambition will make him feel insecure and he would like to impose his dogmatic thinking upon you just like his family’s females were pressed upon and taught to abide by the thinking and orders of the men in his family. He cannot comprehend that you can Think and Do better than him. His insecurities will start acting up whenever you will point out at his flaws, even if done politely. He may even be envious of your work and power because he was conditioned in his psyche’s developmental stages that women are not the Alpha and are meant to be protected and guided only. He may point at your frankness as rudeness. For him, submissive silence is elegance and speaking your mind will be needed to be in a controlled manner according to his dictates.

There will be, most of the times, power struggle between you two because you are an Alpha female and he may feel powerless because of that, so he will try to over-power you to soothe his ill-conditioned mind, and then there might be fights, manipulation and even separation between you two.

What do you think-is it better not to engage with such a man or is it better to engage and then be forced to leave in the end?? Or you can be ultra-submissive just like his family’s females and give upon your own power and capabilities and ambition to soothe his fragile ego??

(PS: Don’t come here with your feminist or anti-feminist mentality regarding this post. It’s about a particular kind of a man. The propositions may be relative to patriarchy but I did not point out at that. This advice is solely for alpha females who also love with whole of their being, so, kindly, do not come with the contention that love is adjustment and all. Those are different topics. I intended to write exactly about a very small fraction of possibilities.)

Thank you for reading. 🙂

CHANGED CRITERIA FOR A LIFE PARTNER.

One thing people don’t get is how much I have changed..and how much my needs around a partner have changed.

If I ever said that I don’t care about looks of my partner, it has changed now. Looks matter a lot to me now. AND anybody wearing a Turban is a big NO. Don’t get offended by this. I have literally nothing against Sikhism. Actually, all the males in my family used to wear a Turban, So I never get attracted to anyone like that. It’s something in-built. It’s a straight turn-off, no matter how good looking, smart and intelligent that guy may be, it will never attract me in the sense of a partner. Plus, I want equally good-looking or at least a smart looking and a fit guy. I am working on my fitness. I look good. I want the same, plain and simple. Attraction is the first thing we need in a long-term partnership, and I would deceive myself and the other person if I would waste time in making anyone comfortable in thinking that I am interested in them or if anyone would try to impose himself on me whom I don’t find attractive. Moreover, I have a particular face type and shape that attracts me a lot. It’s mostly a very masculine type. Sooo, the feminine behaving and long hair types should stay away.

If I ever said that money doesn’t matter, it does now ! I want someone who has more or less equal amount on money in person, and/or regarding family. About 1/3 or 1/4 money can fluctuate being up or down from either side. FYI, my family is already millionaire according to US currency and euros, both. A few DUMBFUCKS who don’t have enough money always think that I am trying to find a millionaire bcz I am gold-digger whereas those dumbfucks are actually the real gold-diggers and I was just looking who actually had more or less similar amount of money. It is required because I want to enjoy my kind of lifestyle with my partner, rather than attracting a gold-digger who doesn’t know how to manage his money or his family business, whatsoever, and would always keep an eye over my money. I don’t want to deplete my sources, I want equal investment from both the sides in everything.

If I ever said that degrees and education does not matter, it matters now. To take one degree, one has to spend years of their life and a hell load of brain power, which, who do not possess them cannot understand. Those dumbfucks actually make joke of the degrees and education just because they themselves could not get them, because these things require more brain and least DRAMA. Believe it or not, formal education really enhances a lot of knowledge and skills. I don’t want any half learned person to be with me to whom I will have to teach the very elementary things that they should have learnt in school or in first degree college. I will frustrate the hell out of me if I would do so. It shows in people’s behaviour how well educated they are. Also, it shows the most when you hold a one-to-one conversation with them how highly educated they are. Many fail at even one good conversation. I don’t want to be with someone with whom I cannot even talk on my areas of interest i.e. law, psychology, science, geography and/or political science (remember political science, Not Politics. There is a big difference between the two). He may be educated in any stream but should be well-educated and well-qualified, otherwise, there is a big NO.

Apart from that I want a good family of in-laws who are not backward that they think that my would-be husband would be having an upper hand over me. I want a family that would treat us both more or less equally. I get that initially every family is cautious with a new member’s arrival in their family and cannot trust completely and it takes a lot of adjustments to reach a place of equality with their son for their daughter-in-law. But, there is a big difference between making adjustments and their decisions being pressed upon me all the time. I love my freedom. Compromises can be made but I will not give upon my basic nature ever.

Other things-behaviour, trust, love, and loyalty, I have talked about them a lot of the times.

Yeah, last but not the least, I want someone well-mannered and that who does not taunt underhandedly through his good manners. That shit really gets on my nerves when someone tries to sound smart but really is not. Good manners and straight talk will always beget the same from my side and I won’t settle for less than that. Elegance looks good on me, and I want the same from my partner, and not much diversion from that in both of our behaviour.

SUBSTANCE: I WANT SOMEONE MORE OR LESS JUST LIKE ME.

Which kind to choose between confusing personalities of males?? (Psychological perspective with layman’s language).

We may get confused between the real nature of people and end up with the wrong one. Here, what matters is how to recognise someone’s personality. This one is for the females who really need to learn the difference between ‘BAD BOY, GOOD MAN’ and ‘GOOD BOY, BAD MAN’.

The Bad Boy, Good Man is a man who will respect you, stay committed to you, will not let you down or try to destroy you emotionally or mentally. He may act errant and childish from time to time by teasing, irritating or fighting with you for no reason, but that’s about it. He will not do that to manipulate you or to feed his ego but only because he needs to learn better behaviour or that kind of childishness is in him by nature that makes a part of his core personality. There is nothing much wrong in that. To err is human. To be errant is a part of every single person’s personality. He is teachable. He will have his shit together or he will try his best for that. Even at his worst, he will not use others to make him whole.

The latter one-Good Boy, Bad Man is someone you need to keep a distance from or say goodbye to, as soon as you can. This kind of a man is cunning by nature but behaves like a good boy displaying very good behaviour or acts like he is teachable but only as long as you keep feeding him with your energy, your good behaviour, your time, affection and love. He makes you and everyone feel that there is nothing wrong with him. He is a very well-mannered person. But, it’s all a facade. He does that to hide his inner ‘bad man’s character. When you stop or even take a break from or be unable to feed him with what he and his ego desires, he will start manipulating you. He will not think twice before cheating. He won’t commit to you ever. He will stay present in your life but only to control you because his inner man’s nature is inherently evil. He will not hesitate from disrespecting you, that too, when you did not do that much of a blunder or were just being errant like a girl (bad girl, good woman nature), and to disrespect you he may even cheat upon you and put all the blame on your behaviour which was quite normal as ‘to err is human’ and will never take the responsibility or accountability of doing wrong(s) to you. He will mostly use others even as a friend but will act right only when every single thing is going on according to his desires, wishes, whims and caprices. This kind of a man’s nature is inherently evil but he will always act like a good boy/good man in front of others.

Though these are not the only categories. There are ‘bad boy, bad man’ and ‘good boy, good man’ as well. But those personalities are quite easily observable yet they are not easily found. The real confusion happens between the two described above. I hope this will help someone.

Humanity over culture.

I don’t get it how people become too emotional with their cultural ties and then try to bring others in that emotional loop as well. I am more into being a human than anything else and have an innate thirst and love for knowing and experiencing different cultures yet not getting attached to any particular one. So, don’t bring that punjabi, himachali, gujarati thing to me just to bond over it; I really don’t care where you belong to if you are not good enough to be called a human being. Emotionality about one’s culture actually makes me feel suffocated.

Some people really want to be overly important.

Logic, Karma, Spirituality, Wisdom or consider anything else,

It says, you cannot compare my dynamic with my love to my dynamic to you because

First of all, no such feelings involved from my side nor I did misguide you in that sense ever,

Secondly, you have to put yourself in my place, not in his place for such a comparison, and none of your petty selves could ever have that much dedication for me as much as I have for him,

Thirdly, what he gave me in what times only I know n thus still respect him,

Fourthly, just stalking me n going into your fantasy land about me could take you a lifetime to actually initiate even a friendship n so it did,

And last but not the least, nobody gives a fuck to you here, actually you have even lost the respect from my side, so just get lost n impose yourself somewhere else with your stalking, gossipping, and cowardly and sick mindset. Your so-called reputed job doesn’t mean anything when you show this kind of sneaky character.

(PS- This is not for anyone whom I ever dated or have been in good friendship terms or have talked to consistently or ever cared about. This is for a completely different group that is a good show-off of achievements n yet could not maintain integrity in real.)