LIFE.

People usually think why I am mostly poker faced or smiling and not really smiling in my pics.

REASONS–

Hard, heart-breaking and hurtful events: Death of 8 family members from which 7 of them died one after another with a gap of one or two years continuously. Heartbreaks in between. So, obviously depression was my normal mental state full of feelings of helplessness, fear of loss of the next one and the related anxiety, in which I had bouts of non-depressive episodes(Yep! Opposite of usual).

Heartbreak: The one that happened long ago (2015) was mentally abusive to me, during and after which I felt like I did not even have enough self-respect. I didn’t come in any relationship after that. After that I fell in love with my so-called best friend, who also deceived me in many ways, and then got married last year about which I got to know in march this year (no,he didn’t inform me. He was still hiding it) So, welcome to depression again !!

Broken friendships: Almost all of my friendships got broken from 2018-2020. Mind games, groupism, gossips, joining hands with enemies. The behaviour which I used to observe, forgive and forget before this time period, became intolerable to me. After all, for how many years(even decades) people were going to take me as a fool just because I was too tolerant, good-hearted, forgiving and friendly?? Definitely, those were not friends. Someone had to end it all, so I did.

My studies and work: Believe it or not, when you are involved in legal, political and psychological fields, you see and read cases that kinda mentally suck you in (Nasty mentally disturbing stuff). It all, in a way, gets embedded on your soul and psyche and you can never really undo that all information. Not that I don’t love what I do. I love my work and research but it’s also true that only the toughest ones can see and go through all that and still have a stability of mind to think through it all rationally.

Although I try my best to stay normal and succeed too; yet somehow it (all the bad stuff) still shows on my face, and most of the times, one can see it in my eyes.

That’s why, most of my old pictures show some kind of depression or sadness on my face and in my eyes.

Not that I am not hurt now or never get hurt or depressed, but every single hurt or disappointment reminds me of my past.

(PS- I was not writing about any of those people and/or events lately, anywhere on social media. Some people have really changed for the better and I also have moved on from that past.)

Genuine Connections

Genuine connections do not need you to be impressive.

If you feel the need to be impressive to others, question your connection with them…..

Interception for self..

When your heart shatters into a zillion pieces,

When it still doesn’t make any noise to the outside world,

When you can’t hear your own screams,

When you silently own every single broken piece in your existence’s hold,

Know that there will be someone who will make it easy for you;

Someone will make easy the love for you,

The love you give and their love for you,

Someone will make the life easy for you,

The way you want to live it,

doing the things you love to do,

Someone will make it easy for you to smile,

The real unfiltered blooming out of innate happiness they give to you,

And until you meet that special someone

Cherish everything that you are

Find depth in your hollowed heart

Find solace in your solitude

Find heights increasing in your strength

For living alone this way is truly an art.

(First published on 17th jan, 2021 on my other website http://www.yourchoicestlifestyle.com )

Photography-symbolic

Companionship can be as simple and as beautiful as this picture is..💙

Waiting for the beauty of life. 💞☯️💐

I cannot tell how much I feel the need to know new people, some good and lively energy. The people among whom you can set your own worth standards and they actually meet them; people with whom you can talk freely about anything and everything, and even silence feels very comfortable; people with whom you can roam around freely not having any hard and fast rule about what “kind” of place you like or not; people with whom you can go for meals in your night suit or maybe cook one together; people with whom you don’t feel judged for being completely yourself as weird, strange or awkward; people to whom your history doesn’t matter but those who still consider past and future and do not be fickle by staying only in the “now” or “in the moment”; people who know the meaning of real reciprocity, and do not only brag about what they do for you rather be acknowledging and thankful for what you do for them as well; people who love to learn and are curious to learn to love are my kind of people that I am so eagerly waiting for.

-25th July, 2020

1000 Fellow Bloggers Connected..

My mobile notification just pinged me with an e-mail noyifying me that I have achieved 1000 followers mark on my website. To me, you all are a wonderful fellow writers community (rather than followers). Just two days ago I was thinking that I could never grow in blogging community. Negative thoughts had engulfed my mind. But thank goodness, I switched to a positive mindset and thought that I could enhance my writing and blogging skills. I am trying and will keep trying. I love to be and called a learner for life, and I hope that you all will stay connected and keep sharing your amazing writings.

When you turn a blind eye to negative and bad people and start connecting with the good ones, your life definitely starts getting better; no matter how small the change be, the change should be in a good direction.

A BIG THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU FOR BEING SO KIND AND POLITE TO ME AND FOR ALSO APPRECIATING MY WORK. THAT TRULY MEANS A LOT TO ME. 🙏❤

Stay happy and blessed, and keep giving a doze of your mind and heart through words. LOVE AND BLESSING 🙂❤

Extra mess !!

I genuinely feel that if there were no extra energies, the alignments would have been much much easier; and that goes for literally everything.