One core reason of narcissistic males in India.

A big part of personality development is played by parental control in childhood. It’s basic but many people ignore this. Most of the narcissists (almost all) have had either very loose or too strict parental control or parents completely absent from life in the early childhood.

In India particular, many males turn into bodily grown immature children because they are given too many privileges just because of their gender (i.e. very loose parental control dysfunction). They may be behaving stupid as fuck in their childhood, still they are loved the parents because THEIR SON IS SOMETHING THEY HAVE GOT AFTER SO MANY RELIGIOUS PRACTICES AND PRAYERS THAT HE HAS ATTAINED ALMOST THE KINGLY PLACE IN THEIR LIFE and he can behave any way he wants to. This kind of unreasonable loose control over a child makes him think that it’s okay to behave any way he wants to with whomsoever because his first social school i.e. his family has not taught him properly the meaning of boundaries i.e. what belongs to others and what to himself, how to behave, how to take care of himself, how not to destroy anything belonging to others and how not to be a burden on others physically, emotionally or mentally. I would like to compare here a bit. When I was about 2-3 years old, I was told by my family “you don’t have to touch anything when you go to xyz home or take anything from anyone unless we permit you to, you will not be called a good person if you will do” and other things as such. I am sure a small fraction of families teach boundaries to their male children as well but what about when they grow up or are growing (in their adolescence) ?? They let them be connected with other immature boys which ends into all of them learning things which are not safe to know for their age in a disorganised way (here I am talking about sexuality because sex education is important but how adolescents learn about it from each-other is completely unhealthy, specially in India) and due to lack of much needed parental control in that age, alongwith loose control during their early childhood, they turn into disrespecting adult bodies (adult bodies because they cannot be considered adults for their childish/under-grown mentality). Then they take everything as their own, including girls/women as objects to play with for their mental satisfaction, without any sense of respect towards them as equals (because they have not been taught virtues like equality nor they have been capable of learning it on their own). Some of them grow into really sick individuals who even put the burden of them being cared for on their partner, and the care they demand is not the one of a partners’ dynamic but is of a parent-child dynamic, and whosoever does not adhere to their childlike mental needs and adult-like physical needs is discarded and replaced. This circle keeps on continuing till they get their perfect partner who is ready to be their care-giver, ego-booster and libido-pleaser, all in one- a ready to be repressed woman. Those overly grown children with high ego disrespect females (their partners, exes, crushes, female friends, etc.) and find it funny and still want to be adored and come back to the same females when they feel like they(women/girls) are doing better without them and/or are independent ones. Actually, grown up men also like independent women but they also respect them whereas psychotic-narcissistic ones come back to them over and over again out of compulsion when they see that they could not destroy those women/girls because their ego keeps them in their fantasy of being an irreplaceable god-like figure which was imbibed into their undergrown minds in their childhood by their own families, and this continues till they die, unless they opt for taking professional help to improve upon themselves, which is rare, because such egoistic men/boys never think that anything is wrong with them. They can be inherently stupid, and they would still think that they are funny, jolly and good to be around. They can be quite average mentally and they would still think that they are superior than others and whosoever (mostly females) they find better mentally, they either test her or tease her incessantly to the point of breaking her mentally, so that other people can never call her better than that psychotic-egoistic-narcissistic boy.

I wish that the parents of such boys have had taught such boys good values and boundaries in their childhood and slapped them really hard when they acted incessantly errant over and over again, so that women wouldn’t have felt the need to parent them by either giving them care or slapping them hard on their face in their adulthood !!

Standards set.

Let me tell you all- There are guys out there who respect girls. Not the special kind of respect, but as much as they respect their brethren. They do not fake goodness in front of others while doing sneaky stuff from behind the scenes. They do not make or let anyone hanging. They respect privacy. They love to the core of their heart. They tease you but not to trigger you but to make you feel goofy. They do not try to know about you to keep an upper hand over you or to stay a step ahead of you in their self created ‘love and courtship game’. They are focussed on their career. They have their shit together without using others or bringing others into their chaos. They are kind. They help others without expecting anything in return. They do not have an agenda behind doing anything good for others. They know the meaning of equal exchange. They are not inconsiderate; they do not boast only about what they did for others but also talk about what others did for them. They are affectionate. They are not addictive of alcohol, money or sex, as they respect themselves, their body and mind. They are focussed on good future despite being broken over and over again in the past. They have feelings and are not afraid to show them openly. They can be vulnerable and can control their vulnerability when required but never at the cost of breaking someone else heart. They are ambitious but not boastful about it. They know their worth but they are not over-confident about what they bring to the table, they let their actions talk. They are not cynical about the womenfolk without any reason or cause. They do not hate or play mind games with women secretly while playing good and charming from the front. They are assertive, not aggressive. They know their strengths as well as their weaknesses and they do not project their weaknesses onto others. They are competitive but at the right place i.e. in their career and talents, not with one or two other people. They appreciate beauty of other females but never at the cost of their lover’s sense of security. They are not jealous and possessive when their lover has men as friends. They think about the world at large and they think about their family as their world as well. They respect their parents and still can tell them where they go wrong politely without feeling guilty about it. They are passionate for love and they are passionate for their ambitions.

BIG RESPECT FOR SUCH GUYS.

And having said that, if somebody is not exactly one of those guys, I really don’t want him in my life.

These standards of character and behaviour may be way too much for a lot of Boys but only basic for those Praise-worthy Men.

One by two.

It’s the privilege for soups,

Not people.