Note to self.

Don’t go back to your old ways,

Try to get out of that mud,

There is love and light for you to grow,

You are still an about to bloom bud,

Hands folded, head held high,

You have to forget your heart’s cry,

When something and someone is pure,

It is rewarded for sure,

Let the times be obscure,

You have to hear past the tumultous,

The sound of nature,

It bestows the real things the strength to endure;

Even if your heart is breaking into a billion pieces,

Just let the rivers of pain flow,

Because days and nights keep shifting,

But always after the darkness,

We feel the sunrise’s glow.

(First published on 17th Jan, 2020)

CHANGED CRITERIA FOR A LIFE PARTNER.

One thing people don’t get is how much I have changed..and how much my needs around a partner have changed.

If I ever said that I don’t care about looks of my partner, it has changed now. Looks matter a lot to me now. AND anybody wearing a Turban is a big NO. Don’t get offended by this. I have literally nothing against Sikhism. Actually, all the males in my family used to wear a Turban, So I never get attracted to anyone like that. It’s something in-built. It’s a straight turn-off, no matter how good looking, smart and intelligent that guy may be, it will never attract me in the sense of a partner. Plus, I want equally good-looking or at least a smart looking and a fit guy. I am working on my fitness. I look good. I want the same, plain and simple. Attraction is the first thing we need in a long-term partnership, and I would deceive myself and the other person if I would waste time in making anyone comfortable in thinking that I am interested in them or if anyone would try to impose himself on me whom I don’t find attractive. Moreover, I have a particular face type and shape that attracts me a lot. It’s mostly a very masculine type. Sooo, the feminine behaving and long hair types should stay away.

If I ever said that money doesn’t matter, it does now ! I want someone who has more or less equal amount on money in person, and/or regarding family. About 1/3 or 1/4 money can fluctuate being up or down from either side. FYI, my family is already millionaire according to US currency and euros, both. A few DUMBFUCKS who don’t have enough money always think that I am trying to find a millionaire bcz I am gold-digger whereas those dumbfucks are actually the real gold-diggers and I was just looking who actually had more or less similar amount of money. It is required because I want to enjoy my kind of lifestyle with my partner, rather than attracting a gold-digger who doesn’t know how to manage his money or his family business, whatsoever, and would always keep an eye over my money. I don’t want to deplete my sources, I want equal investment from both the sides in everything.

If I ever said that degrees and education does not matter, it matters now. To take one degree, one has to spend years of their life and a hell load of brain power, which, who do not possess them cannot understand. Those dumbfucks actually make joke of the degrees and education just because they themselves could not get them, because these things require more brain and least DRAMA. Believe it or not, formal education really enhances a lot of knowledge and skills. I don’t want any half learned person to be with me to whom I will have to teach the very elementary things that they should have learnt in school or in first degree college. I will frustrate the hell out of me if I would do so. It shows in people’s behaviour how well educated they are. Also, it shows the most when you hold a one-to-one conversation with them how highly educated they are. Many fail at even one good conversation. I don’t want to be with someone with whom I cannot even talk on my areas of interest i.e. law, psychology, science, geography and/or political science (remember political science, Not Politics. There is a big difference between the two). He may be educated in any stream but should be well-educated and well-qualified, otherwise, there is a big NO.

Apart from that I want a good family of in-laws who are not backward that they think that my would-be husband would be having an upper hand over me. I want a family that would treat us both more or less equally. I get that initially every family is cautious with a new member’s arrival in their family and cannot trust completely and it takes a lot of adjustments to reach a place of equality with their son for their daughter-in-law. But, there is a big difference between making adjustments and their decisions being pressed upon me all the time. I love my freedom. Compromises can be made but I will not give upon my basic nature ever.

Other things-behaviour, trust, love, and loyalty, I have talked about them a lot of the times.

Yeah, last but not the least, I want someone well-mannered and that who does not taunt underhandedly through his good manners. That shit really gets on my nerves when someone tries to sound smart but really is not. Good manners and straight talk will always beget the same from my side and I won’t settle for less than that. Elegance looks good on me, and I want the same from my partner, and not much diversion from that in both of our behaviour.

SUBSTANCE: I WANT SOMEONE MORE OR LESS JUST LIKE ME.

Projection of neediness on the other person.

One thing I never do is to say it out loud that “I am the one you need” to any of my partners (past, present or prospective). I leave it on the other person to realize it or miss out on it. There is a lot of projection and manipulation in this phrase. Usually, the needy one tries to make the other feel needy of them and saying it quite loud is manipulative because then the other person really gets confused and somewhat begins to think the same way when this sentence is repeated too many times. It’s manipulative to say the least because it feels suffocating to be called what you are not (needy here) and being forced to be attached when you are not that attached. It’s a way to unnerve the other person or to try to make them look weak to themselves and to try to be a fake strength or help for them. You can understand by now that it’s a way of over-exaggeration of one’s importance in another’s life to hide one’s own weakness and neediness.

“If you don’t feel that way about anyone certainly, do not let them say this to you. Make it quite clear to them that you are not the needy one; maybe they are. And if you too are the needy one, then that’s a different thing. But still, if you don’t keep on saying this to them, then they also shouldn’t. Be very clear to others where and how you are needy, and where and how they are projecting their neediness on you. “

Animal lovers..Know the difference.. 😌

Always be kind to animals; they cannot talk about their needs to you..

But remember, not to be kind to human guised animals, who keep shitting on others, for their needs, and on you..