There is mediocrity in you for copying my style.

Some people always try to bring out the worst in you, so that they can look better than you. They copy your style to provoke you till you burst out with anger to react. Those people do not have originality in them, so they just try to copy you, even your way of putting posts on social media, your symmetry, your pattern, because they themselves are not that creative or organised, and when you point out at that, then they make you look like a hater. No matter how calmly and cool-headedly you try to deal with those people, they won’t stop their stupidity and xerox mediocrity.

“SJ, For F sake, stop copying my style and patterns.”

INCAPACITY AND DECEIT STAYS IN YOU.

3 years ago, I had my very important Delhi Judicial Exam (Preliminary). I was deceived by a friend. I had lost someone whom I loved. I was in despair, trying very hard to focus on studies, in delhi.

Suddenly, my so-called former Best Friend Turned Love, (someone who himself started calling me Bestie first), Drunk AF, texted me “I need you. I need your hug so badly. You went there without meeting me. I am feeling like crying.” reading which I got really concerned and tried to console him for whatever he was feeling and tried to figure out the reason so that I could help him. But he said “your exam is too important for you, I am nothing” which really angered me at that moment as he did not say a single thing like that against my exam or described to me anything that he was feeling low for any reasons. I had gotten it by then that he was drunk and sad, to which he admitted later on. But despite going through a lot of shit myself, I still lend him a helping hand and tried to console him.

Later on and NOW whenever I feel sad or depressed, listening to me or trying to understand me is a far off thing, he runs away, and through one or the other social media page he tries to convey me this message 👇

I really don’t understand, first of all, when did I share any of my sadness to him?? I do not depend on anyone for my happiness. AND honestly speaking, LOSERS LIKE HIM are not even capable of giving anyone any happiness. Giving me disappointments and depression, yes, that’s his Forte. I don’t get it in which of his La La Land he thinks that I ever depended on him for my happiness.

Moreover, if I have to do everything by myself, including staying alone when I am feeling depressed, and do every single thing by myself for my success and happiness,, why the fuck would I let him come into my life when I am at my best?? For him to reap my rewards that I had sown and watered?? For him to enjoy all the good times only and run away like a fucking weakass loser when times get tough?? For him to suck up all of my good energy, draining me completely and walk all over me and never giving me a thing??

Does he know that he is immature, not good enough and incapable of being with anyone, leave alone me, because I am still doing much better than him even during sadness and depression??

Is he good enough who thinks that he will be available only to enjoy the goody-good stuff and otherwise just behave like a coward whenever I would need him or anyone, that too, only for being there with me at my lows and not demanding anything from him in those times??

“You couldn’t give me even one-fourth of what I gave you, emotionally, mentally and energetically. With what shit mouth you say that I should be responsible for my happiness. I got it a long time ago that you are incapable of giving me anything. I don’t even expect anyone to give me happiness but I am sure that someone equal to me in every sense will reciprocate with me at every level, not a loser like you. Last but not the least, how do you think that I still talk about a deceptive loser like you when I talk about love, who couldn’t even be a loyal friend??”

Default setting..😂🤣

If I give off 50 kinds of vibes in 5 minutes, don’t question it; just feel entertained.

Pain brain drain 😢😭

I don’t know only pain of love. I have educational pain as well.

Educational pain is not always failing in an exam. Educational pain sometimes looks like this– You clear a national exam. You relinquish the claim, and a few years later, you need to clear it again.

Prayers help..

It works. It really does !! Trust me on this one.. Do not pray for a particular person; it’s just a part of attachment, not even love. You may pray to get a particular person but you may just attract them in your life for a short span that way. But if you pray like this, you will know who you exactly feel for and who you are meant to be with. Don’t even ask for the signs. Signs may be deceptive as we all behave in quite similar fashion or may do so in a short while. Just pray for your own soul to know the reality. And do not fear before and after that about letting go of anything or anyone not meant for you. Accept by heart that you have learnt your lessons and you just want to know and feel only for the one who you are meant to be with forever. YOU WILL KNOW, REALLY !

Which kind to choose between confusing personalities of males?? (Psychological perspective with layman’s language).

We may get confused between the real nature of people and end up with the wrong one. Here, what matters is how to recognise someone’s personality. This one is for the females who really need to learn the difference between ‘BAD BOY, GOOD MAN’ and ‘GOOD BOY, BAD MAN’.

The Bad Boy, Good Man is a man who will respect you, stay committed to you, will not let you down or try to destroy you emotionally or mentally. He may act errant and childish from time to time by teasing, irritating or fighting with you for no reason, but that’s about it. He will not do that to manipulate you or to feed his ego but only because he needs to learn better behaviour or that kind of childishness is in him by nature that makes a part of his core personality. There is nothing much wrong in that. To err is human. To be errant is a part of every single person’s personality. He is teachable. He will have his shit together or he will try his best for that. Even at his worst, he will not use others to make him whole.

The latter one-Good Boy, Bad Man is someone you need to keep a distance from or say goodbye to, as soon as you can. This kind of a man is cunning by nature but behaves like a good boy displaying very good behaviour or acts like he is teachable but only as long as you keep feeding him with your energy, your good behaviour, your time, affection and love. He makes you and everyone feel that there is nothing wrong with him. He is a very well-mannered person. But, it’s all a facade. He does that to hide his inner ‘bad man’s character. When you stop or even take a break from or be unable to feed him with what he and his ego desires, he will start manipulating you. He will not think twice before cheating. He won’t commit to you ever. He will stay present in your life but only to control you because his inner man’s nature is inherently evil. He will not hesitate from disrespecting you, that too, when you did not do that much of a blunder or were just being errant like a girl (bad girl, good woman nature), and to disrespect you he may even cheat upon you and put all the blame on your behaviour which was quite normal as ‘to err is human’ and will never take the responsibility or accountability of doing wrong(s) to you. He will mostly use others even as a friend but will act right only when every single thing is going on according to his desires, wishes, whims and caprices. This kind of a man’s nature is inherently evil but he will always act like a good boy/good man in front of others.

Though these are not the only categories. There are ‘bad boy, bad man’ and ‘good boy, good man’ as well. But those personalities are quite easily observable yet they are not easily found. The real confusion happens between the two described above. I hope this will help someone.

SICK ONES.

I guess half of my life will be spent saying “Oh no..Dumbfuck..That was not for you..” to a lot many people..

Isn’t it very obvious when one is writing something on a public platform that it’s written for anyone and everyone who can read it?? AND isn’t true that if it doesn’t resonate with a situation with someone, it’s not for them?? Isn’t it right that I won’t have a beef with anyone for no reason and won’t write something against anyone if I don’t have a clear beef with that person?? I mean, how do people even take some things so personally?? Specially those whom I never connected with anywhere (on social media or in real) and have had nothing to do with..

Seriously, it’s exasperating to know that some people are too stupid that they take everything on them and have beef for no reason. If they have problems with their own self unconsciously, they shall seek professional psycho-therapeutic help rather than beefing with other people for no reason.

But.. One thing is assured that those people who are having problem with what I write or do, had hatred, competition and beef with me since a long time, the time I had no idea about their sickness.

WHATEVER ! 😂

You won’t see me tripping for anything or anyone for long,

Yeah..Whatever ! is my favourite love song..

Just a dream.

My maths class was about to get over. It was raining heavily. I missed getting myself marked present in class. I went to staff room and requested the professor that I was solving a maths problem, so just missed my roll call. Professor was adamant at not marking me ‘present’ at first but finally marked so.

I was enjoying watching the rain, pouring down heavily thumping at the ground, from the corridors of the first floor. He was not present today. I don’t know why but it was a disappointment. I usually love it when he is present the days I come to school as then I get to see him. Anyway, it’s okay, I thought. I untied my hair as it was the last period of the entire session and it was, in a way, quite relieving. I was reminiscing the good times I spent in the place and planning on how to study for the final exams. Nothing was wrong but something was missing, really missing. There was quiteness in the corridor as most of my fellow students had left. I didn’t realise that I was standing there for about fifteen minutes by now. Then, came a classmate to me in a hurry and said “come with me downstairs, he is waiting for you”. It was perplexing at first as I was not used to this kind of behaviour in school. I never hurried before this. But this time, it didn’t feel wrong, infact, it felt like something was so right. I didn’t even ask him who he was talking about, I just ran with that fellow to go downstairs. And then, there he was..yes, it was him ! for whom my my eyes n soul were searching.

…..After this what happened, I really don’t want to even write. It was everything I could wish for…..

Problem with good emotions.

My problem is that I may tell you that I love you and then would like to stay alone but when I would like to be with you I won’t even say a thing.

Some people cannot handle good emotions at first and I am one of them. It’s because they never or barely got to experience love. So, it feels over-whelming when they get to experience it.