CHANGED CRITERIA FOR A LIFE PARTNER.

One thing people don’t get is how much I have changed..and how much my needs around a partner have changed.

If I ever said that I don’t care about looks of my partner, it has changed now. Looks matter a lot to me now. AND anybody wearing a Turban is a big NO. Don’t get offended by this. I have literally nothing against Sikhism. Actually, all the males in my family used to wear a Turban, So I never get attracted to anyone like that. It’s something in-built. It’s a straight turn-off, no matter how good looking, smart and intelligent that guy may be, it will never attract me in the sense of a partner. Plus, I want equally good-looking or at least a smart looking and a fit guy. I am working on my fitness. I look good. I want the same, plain and simple. Attraction is the first thing we need in a long-term partnership, and I would deceive myself and the other person if I would waste time in making anyone comfortable in thinking that I am interested in them or if anyone would try to impose himself on me whom I don’t find attractive. Moreover, I have a particular face type and shape that attracts me a lot. It’s mostly a very masculine type. Sooo, the feminine behaving and long hair types should stay away.

If I ever said that money doesn’t matter, it does now ! I want someone who has more or less equal amount on money in person, and/or regarding family. About 1/3 or 1/4 money can fluctuate being up or down from either side. FYI, my family is already millionaire according to US currency and euros, both. A few DUMBFUCKS who don’t have enough money always think that I am trying to find a millionaire bcz I am gold-digger whereas those dumbfucks are actually the real gold-diggers and I was just looking who actually had more or less similar amount of money. It is required because I want to enjoy my kind of lifestyle with my partner, rather than attracting a gold-digger who doesn’t know how to manage his money or his family business, whatsoever, and would always keep an eye over my money. I don’t want to deplete my sources, I want equal investment from both the sides in everything.

If I ever said that degrees and education does not matter, it matters now. To take one degree, one has to spend years of their life and a hell load of brain power, which, who do not possess them cannot understand. Those dumbfucks actually make joke of the degrees and education just because they themselves could not get them, because these things require more brain and least DRAMA. Believe it or not, formal education really enhances a lot of knowledge and skills. I don’t want any half learned person to be with me to whom I will have to teach the very elementary things that they should have learnt in school or in first degree college. I will frustrate the hell out of me if I would do so. It shows in people’s behaviour how well educated they are. Also, it shows the most when you hold a one-to-one conversation with them how highly educated they are. Many fail at even one good conversation. I don’t want to be with someone with whom I cannot even talk on my areas of interest i.e. law, psychology, science, geography and/or political science (remember political science, Not Politics. There is a big difference between the two). He may be educated in any stream but should be well-educated and well-qualified, otherwise, there is a big NO.

Apart from that I want a good family of in-laws who are not backward that they think that my would-be husband would be having an upper hand over me. I want a family that would treat us both more or less equally. I get that initially every family is cautious with a new member’s arrival in their family and cannot trust completely and it takes a lot of adjustments to reach a place of equality with their son for their daughter-in-law. But, there is a big difference between making adjustments and their decisions being pressed upon me all the time. I love my freedom. Compromises can be made but I will not give upon my basic nature ever.

Other things-behaviour, trust, love, and loyalty, I have talked about them a lot of the times.

Yeah, last but not the least, I want someone well-mannered and that who does not taunt underhandedly through his good manners. That shit really gets on my nerves when someone tries to sound smart but really is not. Good manners and straight talk will always beget the same from my side and I won’t settle for less than that. Elegance looks good on me, and I want the same from my partner, and not much diversion from that in both of our behaviour.

SUBSTANCE: I WANT SOMEONE MORE OR LESS JUST LIKE ME.

Boundaries with an ex are important.

I don’t know how people make it look otherwise but not creating a complete boundary with an ex who still has feelings for you is a disrespect to your current partner. Being friends with an ex is okay when both of you have ‘moved on’ in every sense of the phrase. ‘Been there, done that’. I blocked people completely from my life till they learned that they did not and could never have access to me like before no matter how much I loved them in the past. Boundaries are crucial. Do not play innocent whereas in reality playing with two; trying to get security from one in every sense and mental satisfaction from another. It never ends well.

Miraculous tragedies is all she knows.

She stopped believing in miracles long ago,

Even if you will feel like one

She will pass by

Abruptly taking you as an illusion

In an attempt to escape

the possibility of her fears

mirrored by you.

Why not??

People destroy your life beyond repair

And then expect you to sympathize with their pity party.

Because why not?

Crocodile tears shown afterwards always have appeal.

Stone hearted?

Honestly,

Call me stone-hearted ass

But about it I don’t care

Because I know that’s what I become

After my immense love is taken for granted

Mind manipulated

And situations converted to my agony.

But believe it or not

I can feel others’ feelings

But I don’t want to do anything about it

Because I know if I will do

That will just put us all through the same hurricane

From which we all got out

After so much time, difficulty and pain.

REMEMBER YOUR STANDARDS

When you pick yourself up

also remember to lose everyone who can bring you down,

You have seen good in people more than they deserved,

You have seen bad in life more than you deserved,

Maybe you have to learn how to make people meet at your own level

although doing it by being rudely stern,

Maybe the standards you have created about your own behaviour

is all they have to see and learn.

WHY THE GOOD ONES ALWAYS LEAVE

Now I understand why the good ones always leave.

Because their efforts are never matched; if ever they do, it’s scarce.

Because they put so much of good intentions for the other that they feel the void of having left with no energy for themselves.

Because they put up with so many discriminatory situations of which the other person wouldn’t put up with even the half.

Because they get so frustrated of ignorance and abandonment that they start doubting their own existence or worth.

Because they get so tired of giving that they are left with nothing to give anymore.

So, in the end, they leave, completely exhausted.

Untitled something for him.

I can let him go

if that will make him happy,

Even from a distance

seeing him happy makes me happy,

Though I feel he is not at his best,

his eyes are narrating a different story,

still trying to figure out life,

I wish with time he taps into all his glory.

The bond that we had I still have I feel,

We might end up breaking apart,

But that bonding that feeling even he can’t steal.

For what I have for him,

I fall short of words every time I try to write,

It’s not what he looks like or what he does,

It’s who he is that feels so right.

It’s not the first time I am writing for him,

I just could not show him my feelings ever,

I thought I didn’t need to

we were best friends,

I could apprehend this distance never.

I am not feeling any void,

I am feeling more whole than ever,

Some influences created the chaos in the journey,

Some people entered, snatching him, they could do it, they are clever,

I will let him go if I have to,

But won’t cheat on our bond ever.

Only love..

They were breathing love,
with the calmness of the night ocean.
Their feelings like free birds,
were guiling every boundary.

Beknown of everything but the fate of love,
feeling the rain of every emotion;
not taking the vows of world absurd,
reigning thoughts of the otherwise, coming secondary.

Unsaid rumblings…..

He had his own reasons,
that he didn’t let me know.
The trust he could have in me,
he could never stow.
I know him but never let him know,
He knows me but the level of depth
he has reached in me though.
He could bestow me with the truth
but chose to leave in chaos,
that’s the stand that I could never uncross. He anticipates me full of love, withering himself away from that art.
I understand him in my heart
but those unsaid rumblings work as dart.