COMPARING NOW??

One of my biggest flex was not flexing about the fact that those who said they would find BETTER than me, ended up with someone MUCH WORST THAN ME.

That’s how they fuck up by comparing me or triangulating me with anyone. Face YOUR KARMA. ENJOY THE LOSS !!✌

Reminiscing my nature.

I can’t even explain how I think. Many live in and for experiences. I really don’t seek them. I don’t seek events to make memories about them. I don’t think that we are what we create or some experiences can create us (ok particularly me here). How I take experiences is purely the mental stimulators or catalysts for different thinking. As far as I remember nothing has changed me much. Those who know me now or at whatever period of time they might have known me may think that I have changed a lot. But that’s not true. They have only seen my behaviour for a short period of time n for a few events or so on but my basic nature has always been like this only.

I was always quiet in front of the outsiders (school, college, relatives functions, strangers etc.) and quiet in my own home maybe for eternity.. but.. whenever I wanted to socialise I was one hella fun person. I was always the one who organised family functions to the T (not the labour part, ok). I was always sporty whenever anyone came to the house (n got comfy in the family) to play a game or two. I made jokes whenever I observed something laugh-worthy in the surroundings. I was analysing situations, people’s behaviour and dynamics of different kinds right from my very childhood (like since the age of 6-7 years old). I always observed a lot. Like really.. I can very confidently say that I filter about 95-98% of things that I observe just because I find them quite useless including people who think that they can always sneak, tresspass, abuse n escape.. “Nope ! You didn’t. I did let you because you are not important at all.” If you think that I have become angrier, that too, is in my nature by birth, though the outlets have changed. I used to store it all or tended to flush off that energy by playing cricket for two hours daily in the evening (though with my brother n father only). It was really a good release of energy then. Now I feel like not storing any shit in my mind n release it all through words. If we talk about confidence. I always had a very good amount of self-confidence but I was always quiet about it because I was getting regular recognition about my capability through professors n results etc. Now I have to show it in other ways because of the wake of social media as in this era if you don’t verbalise or show your capabilities, then you are considered not to have them at all and those who are ept at showing off, become successful, though they might have half of your capabilities.

The point is.. I was always more or less similar..Not much has changed.. Neither my nature, nor my strength.. It’s just that those who have started to know different sides of me or my deeper layers, they think that I have changed a lot; they actually never knew me. Really.. Never..

Strangest thing about me: I do the things, I hate to do, the most. This one I still cannot understand why. Sooner or later, I end up doing things that I really hate.

Strongest point about me: I really, and by this I mean REALLY, I don’t give a fuck about who thinks what about me.

Weakest point about me: I won’t actualise something until I have done it to perfection, exactly the way I visualised it, and even after reaching that point I keep polishing it so that it can reach a point to my utmost satisfaction.

The best thing I find about my life: No matter how filthy situations, events or people I deal with, my bounce back game is strong AF, stronger than many, and I don’t mean it by the show off part, I mean it about things considered valuable.

(Originally posted on 28th Dec, 2020)

DIGITAL-ART:CONNECTION

For some reasons,

we all are connected.

(Please do not download the artwork without explicit permission. Copyrights reserved by the author of the website. Thank you. ❤)

I do differently..

They say “Date them all until one of them shows you he is serious”,

I say “Brozone them all until one of them shouts “I want to be your fucking husband !!”

*chaos versus clarity*

Crazy but it works 😜

An advice for Alpha females for marriage..

I want to give an advice to young women/girls who want to get married at some point in their life. Actually, there are many points that I want to discuss under this topic and you may also find many advices online as well as offline regarding marriage. But there is one point that I want to put some light on which is often ignored while considering a life partner.

If you are a woman who is ambitious, takes her own decisions, works her ass off, is a go-getter, and is a provider, in short, the one who has most of the qualities of an Alpha Female, you need to see the family structure of the man if you are interested in him for marriage or life partnership or relationship. I am saying this because I have seen this pattern a lot in society that when and if the females of the family in which a man has grown up, did not work in office, and were by nature-submissive, coy, and silent, that man is going to want the same from his life-partner sub-consciously. It doesn’t matter how much educated or modernised he became, the years (decades) of mental training he got from his family sub-consciously is not going to change even if he finds the otherwise for himself consciously. He would want you to be the same meek and coy woman. Your boundaries will be aggressive to him. Your desires and ambition will make him feel insecure and he would like to impose his dogmatic thinking upon you just like his family’s females were pressed upon and taught to abide by the thinking and orders of the men in his family. He cannot comprehend that you can Think and Do better than him. His insecurities will start acting up whenever you will point out at his flaws, even if done politely. He may even be envious of your work and power because he was conditioned in his psyche’s developmental stages that women are not the Alpha and are meant to be protected and guided only. He may point at your frankness as rudeness. For him, submissive silence is elegance and speaking your mind will be needed to be in a controlled manner according to his dictates.

There will be, most of the times, power struggle between you two because you are an Alpha female and he may feel powerless because of that, so he will try to over-power you to soothe his ill-conditioned mind, and then there might be fights, manipulation and even separation between you two.

What do you think-is it better not to engage with such a man or is it better to engage and then be forced to leave in the end?? Or you can be ultra-submissive just like his family’s females and give upon your own power and capabilities and ambition to soothe his fragile ego??

(PS: Don’t come here with your feminist or anti-feminist mentality regarding this post. It’s about a particular kind of a man. The propositions may be relative to patriarchy but I did not point out at that. This advice is solely for alpha females who also love with whole of their being, so, kindly, do not come with the contention that love is adjustment and all. Those are different topics. I intended to write exactly about a very small fraction of possibilities.)

Thank you for reading. 🙂

Millenial love.

Welcome to the arcade

Where feelings are sold

Without love.

Anxiety can be a stuck energy in body. How to tackle with it? (Personal experience)

I want to tell you something about anxiety. Anxiety is stuck in my backbone like it’s my life force and I won’t deny that I have to make movements like a snake or twirk or get patted on my back to shirk off that energy, or I can’t live peacefully for even an hour. Either it acts up in holding me in a loop of doing everything too fast and then in eruption of cranky mood, or I can’t do anything because of it feeling paralysed with over-thinking.

Does anything new happens that creates anxiety?? Yes, sometimes. But sometimes, it’s our old energy stuck inside of us that demands release whereas sometimes, it’s our neural pattern that creates similar anxiety in similar situations we face in the present, and sometimes, it’s our thoughts for the future that invite that energy to the fore because we had suppressed those thoughts about the future in the past and now we have to face them.

So, what can we do about it??

1. MOVE: yeah..Move your body, baby. (😜) any way you can. Play, dance, exercise,etc.

2. WRITE/SPEAK: Write or speak whatever thoughts come to your mind. Just blurt them out. Journal/record audio. After some time, read or listen to them and analyse which thoughts are too repetitive and what are their reasons.

3. GET A MASSAGE: Get a good deep tissue massage to release all that tense energy from your body, so that you don’t have to move like a snake randomly while trying to sleep (😌).

4. HYDRATION/PROPER NUTRITION: Last but not the least, have enough of fluids intake. Eat less sugar and salt. Take your nutrition supplements. Eat balanced diet.

5. RELAX: I just mean DO. NOT. RUSH. about anything. Plan and act on it but do not rush feeling like nothing went right if one out of ten things that you planned to do within a specified time gets a little delayed (One of the main reasons of my anxiety 🙄). Don’t be a control freak even if you want to be the controller of your own life only.

6. LET YOURSELF HEAL: Generally, when you are healing from something (be it anything), anxiety acts up over and over again, no matter how much you have advanced in healing. It’s OK. Nothing is wrong with you, it’s quite normal. Give yourself time, healing is always a long journey, and do try to follow above-mentioned points.

Thank you for reading. ❤🙂

Rules/no rules..

Poetry could be turned into a story

Love could be turned into a relationship

If we had followed the proper rules,

Because story or relationship has rules,

But poetry or love goes no where

But yes, it always stays there.

Know the difference of bonding.

When an outsider tries to be more important than a family member, you should make it very clear with your words or actions that they don’t mean shit in comparison to your close family member, no matter what and how your bond is with that outsider. You should not make a family member feel abandoned or alienated ever, you may be the only one that they look forward to for support. Outsiders really should know their limits.

(Originally posted on 10th Jan,2021)

Love/Relationships are a game for a Narcissist.

Some people will chase you only till you are interested in someone else. Their character is like that only. It satisfies their ego to get you out of love with someone else. When they succeed in doing so, it makes them feel like they are better than the one you loved or were interested in, but when they succeed in influencing your mind away from that loved person, they treat you like you never mattered. STAY WOKE ABOUT SUCH NARCISSISTS AND DON’T GIVE A FUCK TO THEM EVER, ONCE YOU HAVE A SINGLE EXPERIENCE LIKE THAT WITH ANYONE LIKE THAT.