Those who love to see you on your lowest
If you are not with them
And at your best
Only if you are with them
Are a few of the worst creatures born on earth,
They fake goodness when a third person is observing or is involved
Otherwise it’s just filth from them being shed upon you that you can sense,
And it continues every time you reject them for their fakeness.
Forgive me if I am misunderstanding.
Sounds like a mother who is the perfect mother in public around others and a mean, shit mother in reality.
LikeLiked by 1 person
as an example – i don’t think you are talking about a mother
LikeLiked by 1 person
Or my ex who acted like she was perfect girlfriend around my family and was horrible and hateful when just with me
LikeLiked by 1 person
Exactly this..
Mother n gf examples are well suiting into the criteria..
I am sorry that you had to go through this..
It really feels shitty n if you cannot expose their reality in front of the others, it feels shittier..
LikeLiked by 1 person
to be clear my mother isn’t like this – but ex was worse than you could possibly imagine. And, no, she was so slick she never was expose (accept to my family who of course believes my word over hers)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Okay..
I am glad that at least your family believes you. That’s really great..
And, try to communicate the truth even to the friends that matter, so that you may know who shall matter n who shall not.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know now. She was covert – so took a while to figure out the gas lighting and sabotage and the million other tricks and lies.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Gas lighting can make anyone go insane..but it’s better to keep a tab/tally about everything since you first recognize that you are being gaslighted.
Like keep the screenshots, pics shared, call recordings, her acquaintances telling you anything directly/indirectly, indirect accusations which you know trigger you but which have not been instigated by you, etc.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I had never known of narcissism or that such people existed – totally blindsided
LikeLiked by 1 person
Experiences teach it all.. š£
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yup. Disgusting isn’t it? And when people are so damn polite and phony nice while they shit talk everyone not around at the moment – you know damn well they are talking shit about you when you are not around.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You need to explain this further. There are implications about talking shit as well. Eg: you cannot talk shit about a psychopath in front of the psychopath because he will mend the reality in front of everyone with drama and manipulation. You can talk so called shit about somebody which may actually be factual because they actually gave nothing to you else than shit to talk about them.
Whereas talking shit about somebody who did not give you any reason considering both logic and feelings is bad enough to call the shit-talker a psychopath.
You see it comes down to the experience of the talker. You cannot fight with a psychopath. You always lose with a psychopath unless you are quite logical n strong mentally. And if you do not have resources to prove your stand, then one has to be nice to even a Psychopath just to avoid further complications in life. This is what stable people do most of the times i.e. AVOID PSYCHOPATHS AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE.
Talking shit face to face or behind someone’s back may have many implications.
The second one is obviously what you have just explained.
But one has to look for the reasons, and not just compare the surface level behaviours.
Mostly victims and narcissists display the same kind of behaviour in front of others and it’s difficult to distinguish between the two unless one knows the history of experiences n the reasons behind displaying those behaviours.
You see it’s not that black n white as you said, though I appreciate that you at least observed this. Maybe you experienced that on your own,I am sorry for that if that’s the case; but behaviour is much more complex than you have just described.
Thanks for your comment. Have a good day. š
LikeLike
Yup. Besides usually being intelligent, psychopaths have something on us that ensures they will almost always win this game: THEY LIE – they lie well and have no problem doing so.
Yes, it i complicated, I may not have interpreted what you meant exactly right, but I sure as hell know the complexity of such people and situations.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Alert here: Psychopaths are not intelligent. š
They think they are more clever than others. They think that what they do will never be noticed. They underestimate others’ intellect. They always think that they are more influencial, most intelligent, most attractive, most proactive,etc. It always comes down to the MOST IMPRESSIVE PERSONALITY, even if they cannot be ‘most’ at the good traits they try to look like “MOST MISERABLE’ which really makes me laugh because I feel that there is always somebody out there doing better than and is better than you or is going through worse than you but psychopaths or say narcs never think like that, they are so self-absorbed in their ego that they want to feel special at any cost to boost their ego.
So, shit talking on being rejected that I have talked about in my written lines is one of those behaviours.
Coming back to intelligence, believe me they are not intelligent. They are one of the most foolish people on earth who only think that they are intelligent. They have pretty low IQ as well as they are barely logical. You may get to know about it by asking them the WHYs. I can assure you that in any immediate situation, they will be devoid of giving you the factual or logical reasons behind their behaviour, the reason will always be emotional which may be psychopathic due to uncontrolled id or desires.
Indeed, it is quite complicated and it gets more complicated when one is dealing with a covert narcissist or psychopath. But it can be recognized by observing who abuses other’s boundaries, this is what I could infer as A BIG RED FLAG till date.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I agree, very true. The boundary thing might be the biggest sign – they don’t respects boundaries – from my experience.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I hope that you heal from this n get the strength to speak your truth to others(specially the known ones). Don’t worry even if they call you a shit talker after that. It just means that they do not have the capacity to understand the truth, secondly they have never been your people and thirdly, they also need to get out of your life so that you can find the good, authentic n loyal ones..šš
LikeLiked by 1 person
I have removed them from my life and have healed (took a lot of healing). They/she is very dangerous, I would rather keep away and not mess with her. And, correct, she isn’t and never was my people.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great..It’s better to avoid than prove a narc wrong. It’s most of the times a lost battle only.
I had the same experience with my ex. He took away my bestie. Compared between us. Did hide relation from both the sides. And then a few more affairs, hidden of course n still accusing me of not giving him importance though everybody could see only I was trying to carry on with the relation. And I knew that I could never prove him wrong. So I just blocked him.
LikeLiked by 1 person
From one who has been there – I am sorry you went through that. I hope you blocked sooner than I did.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah.. I blocked but quite later than I should have, after a few psycho-therapy sessions. šš¤£
LikeLiked by 1 person
Moreover, psychopaths actually want that the victim does not talk to anyone about their behaviour, specially behind their back because then their shit will be known to other people whereas the victim actually needs to vent it all out or else the victim will live in frustration and depression.
It all depends on what has been said, by whom, to whom and mist importantly WHY.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Totally, that is why such a person keeps you their friends at a distance from you – they don’t want people comparing notes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Keeping one’s friends from the other person is also an ambivent behaviour. Both victims n narcs do it out of fear. Narc’s fear is that his truth will be revealed n the victim may leave or he may get exposed. Victim’s reasons are that the narc may use victim’s information n friends to manipulate the victim n finally rob the victim of his friends/family/any significant people.
I am telling you. Victim is more afraid than the narcissist/psychopath to make his/her friends known to the other.
Comparing people also has implications. Narcissist always wants others to compare between himself n the victim because he knows that he can manipulate facts n minds of people related to even the victim.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Exactly! How do you know all this?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know about all this
Firstly because of experience with my ex. I was finding his behaviour totally illogical n errant.
I could not infer for about 2 years what the fuck wrong I was doing.. I could not point out exactly..
Then, I searched google with a sentence related ta that behaviour.
Some articles on narcissism got displayed and then I kept on reading about it in details- N number of articles, a few books, posts on instagram from psychotherapists etc.
Only after doing that much research, I thought that it’s better to lose even in love n avoid such a psychopath.
And still I can assure that he would act like a caring n friendly guy, the reason being he has got married n is happy in his life, so he would try to make other people think that I was the one who was over-emotional, overly attached n could not move on whereas he was the one who began everything flirting, proposing, relationship, comparing, cheating, emotional n mental abuse, discarding..
Have other experiences as well but are milder than this, but they are more about stalking n all..
LikeLiked by 1 person
exactly what happened with me – and it took about two years for me too to start researching and then I started catching on. Unfortunately I held on longer and tried to fix her.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ohh.. My lesson was, NEVER TRY TO FIX A NARC. RECOGNIZE A RED FLAG N RUN FOR YOUR LIFE. šš¤£šš¤£
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yup! Hard lesson for me to learn but i learned!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great.. š
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re a smart person – amazing how we could end up in such a situation and so fooled.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is the tragedy.. Smart people are always fooled by foolish people when they fall for one..
š
LikeLiked by 1 person
So true
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah.. One more thing, always remember or notice who say something through his/her own account, be it good or bad, say honey or poison. A narc mostly uses those ways in which she/he does not get exposed, like using fake accounts, stalking and saying then something that can provoke you or a victim because a psychopaths tries the best to hide his filthy mind from others, so uses snarky ways in which only the victim gets to know that it’s him, not anybody else.
Or you may make him taste his own medicine by doing the same thing to him but which will never end as he has more of such resources(fake accounts and flying monkeys) than you in order to affect or influence you mentally in any direction he wants, both positive n negative. Basically, narc wants to influence you by breaking your clearly set boundaries, thus stalking n fake accounts are used, otherwise if he would do it through his real identity, then it end up in legal action as well.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ex spied my phone password somehow, spied my accounts, contacted girls/friends and told them horrible and embarrassing things trying to smear me and scare them away. Stalked – and yes she was careful not to say incriminating things thorough normal phone text or email – would collect everything I said to bring up out of context.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This one is quite extreme in even narcissism..please speak up n alert your near n dear ones if this happens again.. š
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, I hope it doesn’t happen again to me, I will watch out for friend for sure. Yes, extreme – that is nothing. My best friend died and right after she made up a story about going to his house and have sex behind my back. I cried for a week before she admitted she made it up because she was mad at me for friendship with a female
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is gross.. Really.. Sick AF..
I am sorry that you have had to go through such experiences..
I hope that you be blessed n stay blessed with good things n people in life n don’t have to deal with such people or experiences.. š
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yea, it was bad. And I guess I was sick for putting up with such things, she had me brainwashed I suppose – wanting a “happy ever after” that she “sold” to me, I don’t know what I was thinking, I am embarrassed I let it happen.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can get your feelings.. And it’s okay to feel embarrassed for some time..
I felt like a fool for months until I found out that not much was wrong with me.. except reacting to each n everything he did to me..š¤£
LikeLiked by 1 person
True. That is the fact, I was reacting to her love bombing and her lies – because I didn’t know they were lies. had I known to be on guard and known she was lying, It wouldn’t have worked
LikeLiked by 1 person
Truly.. and that’s why I tended to take a few months before proceeding further than just chatting with somebody because of this love bombing-controlling-third party comparisons-accusations-discarding pattern.
The one who is not sincere won’t stay for more than 2-3 months because that’s the love bombing phase, I might be wrong about the duration here because some even take love as a challenge as well n love bombing may take much longer to recede.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sounds like a wise strategy.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah, to some extend.. š
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hopefully you aren’t scared away from the good ones
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am not.
But yes, cautious for sure.
Which I am working on not to be, because of multiples experiences, family, friends, best friend, lover..
I am so grateful that my family healed me, the same people who did hurt me stayed ultra-patient with me n imbibed confidence in me.
Friends, i got rid (blocked) of the sick ones, having only good ones around.
New ones to be- I am still very cautious as I don’t want to be ditched over n over again. It causes depression for months, affects health as well as work.
And I am always suspicious due to past experiences but I am working on it as one can sense who is good n who is not(if not with intuition, then at least with observation).
LikeLiked by 1 person
I insist that you also try to find some with whom you don’t have to put your armor on.
It feels great to be everything that you are without any caution or fear of judgements, comparisons n manipulations..
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m done with falling in love, that was it for me, physical only.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ohhh..Please don’t give up yet..That’s the worst thing you can do to yourself..
LikeLiked by 1 person
To be in love and think it is real then have it not have been – will be hard to trust love again
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ultimate truth..
But there is nothing wrong in being positive about the future..
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, you’re right
LikeLiked by 1 person
And thanks a ton for giving so much of your time in this discussion.. Stay safe n stay blessed.. š
LikeLiked by 1 person
You too
LikeLiked by 1 person
šš
LikeLike
Well, at least we’re both narcissism experts now
LikeLiked by 1 person
š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£ Irony is that people find the narcs normal n victims crazy.. šš¤£
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, that is why I only usually will discuss w/other victims.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ohhh.. That’s great.. It helps in increasing mental strength n we all know that we were not a psycho actually.. otherwise so called normal people unite n make the normal one a psycho..
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know I am not psycho. Foolish & naive, obviously.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Not naive anymore as well.. š
LikeLiked by 1 person
Amen. Here’s to us both having armor now.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m wasn’t a wimp or desperate for girls either – she still sucked me in. Hate to admit it all, but true
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hmmmm.. I can understand.. n it’s quite courageous to admit such things to oneself..
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, a very humbling experience.
LikeLiked by 1 person
š¤š
LikeLiked by 1 person
I believe you 100% – it is exactly pattern I experienced
LikeLiked by 1 person
I hope that you heal well. It takes a lot of time.. stay patient n stay with good people only.. š
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yup. Thank you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks to you too.. š
LikeLiked by 1 person
You too.
LikeLiked by 1 person