#11 My bestie

What are your biggest challenges?

I would like to give an obtuse answer to it. The challenges are too many to count for me., even if I talk about the biggest ones. Currently I am working on those challenges that are coming from within i.e. working on my habits. I usually feel a big block in my path for moving forward about something that I need to break. I do that work but I have an urge to not show it to anyone. Why? I don’t understand. The only thing I am afraid of regarding that is that my work would go unappreciated and other people would copy it and get rewards that I deserve (because it has happened too many times in the past). So, I don’t show it anywhere which has in a way blocked my progress to a great extent. I seem not to get rid of this block, particularly. People copy everything they find good but can never be the original because of which the original does not get the credits as well as rewards for what they put great efforts into.

Other challenges are also there but they are external, the biggest of them all is when outsiders, whom I don’t want to talk to, share my information of any kind, don’t want to deal with at any level, in any way keep stalking and keep talking shit about my life and me. Honestly, they get to know first who is interested in me romantically and which opportunity I could grab. I usually am unaware of both of these two things and I get to know about them later on when it’s usually too late. These people are either complete foes or frenemies (so-called friends from the past, a couple of whom I did not even talk on phone) who always keep an eye on what is going on in my life. Sometimes, I feel suffocated because of it and sometimes, I react to throw that shit (those people) away, but still they are always there watching everything about and around me and also, stalking, manipulating and abusing other people related or who could get related to me. STUPID FUCKS.

All in all, my own bad habits like procrastination, inability to move past a block, and stupid insignificant people are my biggest challenges.

I would never say that my anger is a challenge as it saves me in places where nobody can and honestly, I am seldom angry. Put me in a room full of intelligent people and you will find me as the quietest person because I want to learn more and more from people who ACTUALLY have to offer something great.