When you are used to present a good humoured self in front of others, others think that you don’t feel any pain, but, nevertheless, it’s a great way to deal with any kind of pain/injury/wounds. Only the strong ones have this capacity.
I am a hard pill to swallow,
just like naked truth
you can feel,
but I have seen people not offended by it
The people who are willing to heal.
I am responding in ways that I had never had in my entire life.. It’s obvious for others to be shocked or surprised by this.. But it’s really for my good. I am loving it to be expressive. I am loving it that I can clear my mind off many vices of others by just writing a few words. I, most of the times, had to bear the brunt of others’ misdoings, but now, the way I am reacting and responding, I am just giving it back to them.
You can see me uplifting others and being compassionate without a string of fake laquer in it, but sometimes my dark side comes to the fore; the darkness of the shades others throw at me, which I know I never deserve. The darkness given to me by others that I had stored inside of me for years; the darkness that I did not deserve was the darkness that I almost had removed completely or almost with my spiritual light from inside of me, but the darkness others try to imbibe in me is completely an outside force which my whole being rejects and wants to throw it back at them. So, this is why I behave the way I do. I feel whole as a person and I cannot accept even an iota of something attacking me and my conscious truth, which does not and never did belong to me.
“I give you love and goodness and positivity freely, and I do not even expect anything in return. BUT I really don’t own anyone’s shit. Keep it in your own head and mouth. Be a bitch if you want to, but with others, not here, never here.”
I love myself way too much
For you to unlove me and still be here,
For me to keep reminiscing you only for the touch,
For me to love you more and keep you here.