Whenever I be in my next relationship, I’m gonna see if my would-be life partner would be single for at least six months next before our meeting or not. I don’t want any weak ass that cannot live alone unlike me. It may sound like too much to many but the real strong ones are like that only-they may like a few here n there as a part of courtship but they never enter into relationship out of necessity i.e. just because they need somebody to be by their side; they never feel like settling until they get exactly the kind of person they want and are strong enough to live alone till they get that one. So, I’ll know that my partner truly would be wanting me and not settling with just out of his needs. Secondly, this kind of a person won’t run away to anyone whenever things between us will become tough; it will be only us managing our boundaries for each-other rathee than destroying each-other’s boundaries for fulfilling one or other’s needs or for letting any outsider break them.
I don’t need reasons to be happy, I need reasons to be sad or depressed and I never go on looking for those reasons. That’s why I avoid most people. I am a happy, productive and entertaining person basically but outside energy always (and I really mean ALWAYS) become a block or a shadow over my positive n optimistic personality, and then I cannot get rid of it for weeks or months. I have traumas that I still haven’t talked about to a single person on earth (literally nobody even if a few of you know many of my secrets, still there are some things I never tell anyone; neither family, or bestest of friends in the past or even a therapist) but I know really well how to give it my all to my future rather than sulking in the past. Attachments happen but I can easily get rid of it, basically being a detached person. Failures happen but I usually have 2-3 more plans after that. My life flows generally as I expect it to. But outside energy always happens to be a block or a shadow over my positives. If I keep any person away, he/she has directly or indirectly added blocks in my life. Why would anyone think that I’d like to invite the same kind of energy in my life again??? I really am not interested in Jumping in the mud or letting people throw it at me and then waste my time n energy in cleaning myself of it whereas the best option always is to look at it, ignore and avoid it and move forward. I don’t know how other people’s mind work, but if they don’t get this basic thing, then it’s completely their problem. I want to keep somebody close who can be equally positive, clear-minded and productive, provided I have not seen the otherwise in them in the past, although everybody can change into the former kind but probability is uncertain to me, and I avoid uncertainty now. I don’t want somebody to give me anything or to add anything to my life, be it happiness or love or anything materialistic. I just want AN EQUAL who knows how to take care of himself, can be happy on his own, manage well his possessions, be productive most of the time, love by heart n soul, has got rid of his past traumas or wounds and related defence mechanisms (although more or less those defences always stay there but it can be dealt with sensibly) and is very clear about what he wants from me, from himself, his career n life in general, so that we can thrive together rather than any of us being a burden on the other. PURE PARTNERSHIP, NEITHER OWNERSHIP NOR PARENT-CHILD DYNAMIC.