One’s pain does not entitle one to offend others !!

“Take it easy!”,”Chill !!” – The phrases you often listen to whenever you react to someone’s statements that can offend boundaries set by you in your relation to that person. Such a person might be a total stranger, a colleague, relative, friend or lover. What boundaries you have set in your dealings with that person are not meant to be crossed for any reason whatsoever. They might give you the random chill in your spine by intimadating you or might lead your temper to rise or may make you numb in a way that you stay stunned about what to say or how to respond to such a stimulus.

And when you react to it with anger or even affirm your boundaries again, then they try to teach you how to chill and not to take life too seriously. Sometimes, they affirm you that they have gone through great ordeals that you have no idea about and still they are capable of playing around. Actually, they are just playing around with their words or even emotions but seldom logic. Their pain does not entitle them to offend you. If their words are hurting your emotions or sentiments or feelings or you are plainly feeling misunderstood or made fun of or taken advantage of or manipulated with, it’s an offence to your person and their own pain is no excuse to inflict any pain upon you.

For a moment, you might give them another chance by giving due regard to their suffering as a benefit of doubt but that kind of behaviour might continue if not opposed or stopped at the first instance. They might play hooky under the veil of their pain or anger but it is not acceptable because you are not responsible for that pain and thus, it’s also not your duty to tolerate it for any measure.

For opposing or making it stop, you do not need to play the same. You don’t need to play mind games or get angry or play the blame game or be pitiful in any way. Be sympathetic and neutral simultaneously in whatever you say and the tone in which you say it.

For example; say

  • “I have no idea what you have gone through but your pain does not entitle you to offend me and I found your behaviour offensive to my boundaries”
  • “I would like to understand your reasons but still your this action/behaviour is unacceptable to me.”
  • “I did not offend you, and I would appreciate it if you reciprocate the same.”
  • “How would you feel if I offend your boundaries and then give excuse of my pain?”
    And, if he or she still does not stop or get even more offensive or aggressive or passive aggressive then be a little more strict and say “Would you understand my dignified silence or you want me to react like you have reacted?”

What you say should be clear, and should give them a message that their behaviour is unacceptable whatever might be the reason behind it. But do not trigger their emotions or do anything to hurt them as it might worsen the situation altogether. Keep calm and be firm and unprejudiced in your approach.

Thank you ! Love to all.. ☺

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Three questions to decide upon before starting a weight-loss plan !

Hello friends!

Today, I am here to discuss upon one of the very important goals of Fitness and life in general- WEIGHT LOSS ! We will do it summarily here in this post and can go into further details on your suggestions.

So, first of all, you have to make up your mind on these three pivotal questions before digging further into any kind of fitness regimen:


  1. how much weight do you have to lose to stay healthy?
  2. How much weight do you want to lose to feel good?
  3. In how much time do you want to reach your goal?

Trust me, once you think about and find out the answers to these 3 questions, you will find it very easy to follow through the techniques to reach your fitness goal and will feel highly motivated. After all, it’s your decision to be fit and you are going to achieve it !!

Coming to the First Part:

How much weight do you have to lose to stay healthy?

For this, get a check-up done from a medical practitioner and go through complete body tests especially lipid profile, thyroid functioning, lever functioning, haemoglobin, blood sugar level etc. so as to ensure that you do not have any medical condition specific to weight gain/loss and then use a BMI (Body Mass Index) calculator and BMI normal range indicator. Also, get your Fat Percentage checked from a medical practitioner or a gym trainer. This will let you know exactly how much fat weight you need to lose.

How much weight do you want to lose to feel good?

Apart from the healthy range of weight, there must be some weight goal in your mind that you think is going to make you feel better about your body and make you more attractive ( No offence here! You are already attractive, but I am talking about feeling “more” attractive here concerning your body only and you really want that 😉 ). Set a realistic target for this and never below your normal BMI range’s minimum weight. Somewhere in the middle of that range would be fine. But that should be a long-term goal. First set a short term goal like losing a few kilos from your big target to be achieved in a shorter span of time.

Here we come to the third part, i.e.

In how much time do you want to reach your goal?

As I have already said that you must decide a long-term goal and then cut it short into many short-term goals. The reasons for doing this are that, firstly, you still have no idea what kind of plan is going to work for you (because you have not tried anything yet), so you will have to go through some trials and errors to find the best possible method. Secondly, you will not feel over-burdened with a big goal. Big goals can be achieved in a long term and that needs sheer consistency and there is a great chance of being divergent from your weight loss goal or worst-give up on it. Shorter durations of control over your diet and maintaining a fitness regimen of exercise are easier to be achieved. Moreover, you will feel motivated when you will achieve your short-term fitness goals.

Short-term fitness goals ideally should be 1 week goal. But, in case you have shorter time or you don’t have that kind of control over your cravings or you can’t be consistent with exercise then, a 3 days goal is perfect for you just for you to test if it works for you or not. If you start liking your 3-days or 1 week routine, then that’s great, carry on with it. But, if you don’t feel like doing it anymore or you think that it’s putting a lot of pressure on you or you can’t be happy in that kind of routine, then switch to a new plan. Go with which plan makes you happy because you have to adopt it as a lifestyle so that after losing weight you can keep it off without getting hard on yourself and love it too. 😀