3 years ago, I had my very important Delhi Judicial Exam (Preliminary). I was deceived by a friend. I had lost someone whom I loved. I was in despair, trying very hard to focus on studies, in delhi.
Suddenly, my so-called former Best Friend Turned Love, (someone who himself started calling me Bestie first), Drunk AF, texted me “I need you. I need your hug so badly. You went there without meeting me. I am feeling like crying.” reading which I got really concerned and tried to console him for whatever he was feeling and tried to figure out the reason so that I could help him. But he said “your exam is too important for you, I am nothing” which really angered me at that moment as he did not say a single thing like that against my exam or described to me anything that he was feeling low for any reasons. I had gotten it by then that he was drunk and sad, to which he admitted later on. But despite going through a lot of shit myself, I still lend him a helping hand and tried to console him.
Later on and NOW whenever I feel sad or depressed, listening to me or trying to understand me is a far off thing, he runs away, and through one or the other social media page he tries to convey me this message 👇
I really don’t understand, first of all, when did I share any of my sadness to him?? I do not depend on anyone for my happiness. AND honestly speaking, LOSERS LIKE HIM are not even capable of giving anyone any happiness. Giving me disappointments and depression, yes, that’s his Forte. I don’t get it in which of his La La Land he thinks that I ever depended on him for my happiness.
Moreover, if I have to do everything by myself, including staying alone when I am feeling depressed, and do every single thing by myself for my success and happiness,, why the fuck would I let him come into my life when I am at my best?? For him to reap my rewards that I had sown and watered?? For him to enjoy all the good times only and run away like a fucking weakass loser when times get tough?? For him to suck up all of my good energy, draining me completely and walk all over me and never giving me a thing??
Does he know that he is immature, not good enough and incapable of being with anyone, leave alone me, because I am still doing much better than him even during sadness and depression??
Is he good enough who thinks that he will be available only to enjoy the goody-good stuff and otherwise just behave like a coward whenever I would need him or anyone, that too, only for being there with me at my lows and not demanding anything from him in those times??
“You couldn’t give me even one-fourth of what I gave you, emotionally, mentally and energetically. With what shit mouth you say that I should be responsible for my happiness. I got it a long time ago that you are incapable of giving me anything. I don’t even expect anyone to give me happiness but I am sure that someone equal to me in every sense will reciprocate with me at every level, not a loser like you. Last but not the least, how do you think that I still talk about a deceptive loser like you when I talk about love, who couldn’t even be a loyal friend??”
I guess half of my life will be spent saying “Oh no..Dumbfuck..That was not for you..” to a lot many people..
Isn’t it very obvious when one is writing something on a public platform that it’s written for anyone and everyone who can read it?? AND isn’t true that if it doesn’t resonate with a situation with someone, it’s not for them?? Isn’t it right that I won’t have a beef with anyone for no reason and won’t write something against anyone if I don’t have a clear beef with that person?? I mean, how do people even take some things so personally?? Specially those whom I never connected with anywhere (on social media or in real) and have had nothing to do with..
Seriously, it’s exasperating to know that some people are too stupid that they take everything on them and have beef for no reason. If they have problems with their own self unconsciously, they shall seek professional psycho-therapeutic help rather than beefing with other people for no reason.
But.. One thing is assured that those people who are having problem with what I write or do, had hatred, competition and beef with me since a long time, the time I had no idea about their sickness.