Self-love is more crucial.

Love will drift your mind to new places

Self-love will bring you to those places.

(Written on 2nd dec,2020)

A thought on Lockdown.

I think it will be better to extend lockdown but with better measures.
According to me, agricultural and industrial production should be increased by first of all, testing the lower strata of population i.e. daily wage workers for COVID-19 by the government and giving them temporary jobs in these two spheres where manual power is lacking these days while making the middle class strata stay under lockdown and imposing a special revenue on upper strata income on profit making after a certain income level.
I know it’s difficult to take such steps as the population is huge but it still can be done rather than staying disorganised during lockdown and yet extending it, putting all the pressure on the same very few frontliners. Moreover, final year medical students can also be encouraged to help by granting them stipends particularly for working in hospitals in lockdown days, and some people from the general public can be given responsibility for carrying on the duties of police (under the supervision of police, of course) specially for the purpose of keeping gathering of people anywhere under check.

I know India has a mixed structure of socialist and capitalist economy more tilted towards capitalism but socialist measures are the need of the hour.


A few of these steps have already been taken; I hope it can help.

(Originally posted on 7th April,2020)

Covid-19 cases are again peaking. DON’T YOU THINK THE CURRENT GOVERNMENT IS EXTREMELY INEFFICIENT AND UNORGANISED?? Do they ever learn anything or just keep rotating their inefficient strategies??

Which kind to choose between confusing personalities of males?? (Psychological perspective with layman’s language).

We may get confused between the real nature of people and end up with the wrong one. Here, what matters is how to recognise someone’s personality. This one is for the females who really need to learn the difference between ‘BAD BOY, GOOD MAN’ and ‘GOOD BOY, BAD MAN’.

The Bad Boy, Good Man is a man who will respect you, stay committed to you, will not let you down or try to destroy you emotionally or mentally. He may act errant and childish from time to time by teasing, irritating or fighting with you for no reason, but that’s about it. He will not do that to manipulate you or to feed his ego but only because he needs to learn better behaviour or that kind of childishness is in him by nature that makes a part of his core personality. There is nothing much wrong in that. To err is human. To be errant is a part of every single person’s personality. He is teachable. He will have his shit together or he will try his best for that. Even at his worst, he will not use others to make him whole.

The latter one-Good Boy, Bad Man is someone you need to keep a distance from or say goodbye to, as soon as you can. This kind of a man is cunning by nature but behaves like a good boy displaying very good behaviour or acts like he is teachable but only as long as you keep feeding him with your energy, your good behaviour, your time, affection and love. He makes you and everyone feel that there is nothing wrong with him. He is a very well-mannered person. But, it’s all a facade. He does that to hide his inner ‘bad man’s character. When you stop or even take a break from or be unable to feed him with what he and his ego desires, he will start manipulating you. He will not think twice before cheating. He won’t commit to you ever. He will stay present in your life but only to control you because his inner man’s nature is inherently evil. He will not hesitate from disrespecting you, that too, when you did not do that much of a blunder or were just being errant like a girl (bad girl, good woman nature), and to disrespect you he may even cheat upon you and put all the blame on your behaviour which was quite normal as ‘to err is human’ and will never take the responsibility or accountability of doing wrong(s) to you. He will mostly use others even as a friend but will act right only when every single thing is going on according to his desires, wishes, whims and caprices. This kind of a man’s nature is inherently evil but he will always act like a good boy/good man in front of others.

Though these are not the only categories. There are ‘bad boy, bad man’ and ‘good boy, good man’ as well. But those personalities are quite easily observable yet they are not easily found. The real confusion happens between the two described above. I hope this will help someone.

Animal lovers..Know the difference.. 😌

Always be kind to animals; they cannot talk about their needs to you..

But remember, not to be kind to human guised animals, who keep shitting on others, for their needs, and on you..

Quote- Bright Light.

My light is too bright for anyone to bring out my dark side and sustain it for long.

Reminiscing my nature.

I can’t even explain how I think. Many live in and for experiences. I really don’t seek them. I don’t seek events to make memories about them. I don’t think that we are what we create or some experiences can create us (ok particularly me here). How I take experiences is purely the mental stimulators or catalysts for different thinking. As far as I remember nothing has changed me much. Those who know me now or at whatever period of time they might have known me may think that I have changed a lot. But that’s not true. They have only seen my behaviour for a short period of time n for a few events or so on but my basic nature has always been like this only.

I was always quiet in front of the outsiders (school, college, relatives functions, strangers etc.) and quiet in my own home maybe for eternity.. but.. whenever I wanted to socialise I was one hella fun person. I was always the one who organised family functions to the T (not the labour part, ok). I was always sporty whenever anyone came to the house (n got comfy in the family) to play a game or two. I made jokes whenever I observed something laugh-worthy in the surroundings. I was analysing situations, people’s behaviour and dynamics of different kinds right from my very childhood (like since the age of 6-7 years old). I always observed a lot. Like really.. I can very confidently say that I filter about 95-98% of things that I observe just because I find them quite useless including people who think that they can always sneak, tresspass, abuse n escape.. “Nope ! You didn’t. I did let you because you are not important at all.” If you think that I have become angrier, that too, is in my nature by birth, though the outlets have changed. I used to store it all or tended to flush off that energy by playing cricket for two hours daily in the evening (though with my brother n father only). It was really a good release of energy then. Now I feel like not storing any shit in my mind n release it all through words. If we talk about confidence. I always had a very good amount of self-confidence but I was always quiet about it because I was getting regular recognition about my capability through professors n results etc. Now I have to show it in other ways because of the wake of social media as in this era if you don’t verbalise or show your capabilities, then you are considered not to have them at all and those who are ept at showing off, become successful, though they might have half of your capabilities.

The point is.. I was always more or less similar..Not much has changed.. Neither my nature, nor my strength.. It’s just that those who have started to know different sides of me or my deeper layers, they think that I have changed a lot; they actually never knew me. Really.. Never..

Strangest thing about me: I do the things, I hate to do, the most. This one I still cannot understand why. Sooner or later, I end up doing things that I really hate.

Strongest point about me: I really, and by this I mean REALLY, I don’t give a fuck about who thinks what about me.

Weakest point about me: I won’t actualise something until I have done it to perfection, exactly the way I visualised it, and even after reaching that point I keep polishing it so that it can reach a point to my utmost satisfaction.

The best thing I find about my life: No matter how filthy situations, events or people I deal with, my bounce back game is strong AF, stronger than many, and I don’t mean it by the show off part, I mean it about things considered valuable.

REAL N FREE..

Even I don’t know how you’ll deal with me.. I am unfolding those parts of myself that even I didn’t know existed.. I am opening up so much.. It’s like I was always trying to nip in the bud that was meant to bloom.. And honestly, I am loving it.. It’s uneasy as I had never felt like this but this unknown side is feeling blissful.. You never know what may come next as even I don’t know what n how.. I was never like this but I am loving it.. Call it anything but I feel so real n free.. I hope that one day you don’t look back n see what you really missed n lost.. I love my own vibe so much, I wonder how you won’t..

That thin line..😂

My extremes in relationships are I WILL WAIT AND LOVE YOU TILL ALL OF YOUR EXES SETTLE DOWN IN HAPPY RELATIONSHIPS AND YOU MOVE ON FROM THEM COMPLETELY WITH THE AFFECTION AND ASSURANCE I KEEP ON GIVING YOU BECAUSE I KNOW I AM STRONG AND CAN BEAR EVERYTHING FOR THAT ONE OF A LIFETIME LOVE I HAVE FOR YOU AND WHICH I FEEL IS GOING TO LAST TILL ETERNITY

and

WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?? YOU MUST BE THINKING THAT YOU ARE THE UNFORGETTABLE KING OF THE WORLD BUT YOUR PETTY ASS NEEDS TO KNOW THAT YOU LITERALLY MEAN NOTHING TO ME. GO TO HELL !

And there is a thin line between the two which I reach after a long time of keeping patience and forgiving for way too many times.

No. 1 trait in partner-strength to live alone.

Whenever I be in my next relationship, I’m gonna see if my would-be life partner would be single for at least six months next before our meeting or not. I don’t want any weak ass that cannot live alone unlike me. It may sound like too much to many but the real strong ones are like that only-they may like a few here n there as a part of courtship but they never enter into relationship out of necessity i.e. just because they need somebody to be by their side; they never feel like settling until they get exactly the kind of person they want and are strong enough to live alone till they get that one. So, I’ll know that my partner truly would be wanting me and not settling with just out of his needs. Secondly, this kind of a person won’t run away to anyone whenever things between us will become tough; it will be only us managing our boundaries for each-other rathee than destroying each-other’s boundaries for fulfilling one or other’s needs or for letting any outsider break them.

Something constant.

I don’t need reasons to be happy, I need reasons to be sad or depressed and I never go on looking for those reasons. That’s why I avoid most people. I am a happy, productive and entertaining person basically but outside energy always (and I really mean ALWAYS) become a block or a shadow over my positive n optimistic personality, and then I cannot get rid of it for weeks or months. I have traumas that I still haven’t talked about to a single person on earth (literally nobody even if a few of you know many of my secrets, still there are some things I never tell anyone; neither family, or bestest of friends in the past or even a therapist) but I know really well how to give it my all to my future rather than sulking in the past. Attachments happen but I can easily get rid of it, basically being a detached person. Failures happen but I usually have 2-3 more plans after that. My life flows generally as I expect it to. But outside energy always happens to be a block or a shadow over my positives. If I keep any person away, he/she has directly or indirectly added blocks in my life. Why would anyone think that I’d like to invite the same kind of energy in my life again??? I really am not interested in Jumping in the mud or letting people throw it at me and then waste my time n energy in cleaning myself of it whereas the best option always is to look at it, ignore and avoid it and move forward. I don’t know how other people’s mind work, but if they don’t get this basic thing, then it’s completely their problem. I want to keep somebody close who can be equally positive, clear-minded and productive, provided I have not seen the otherwise in them in the past, although everybody can change into the former kind but probability is uncertain to me, and I avoid uncertainty now. I don’t want somebody to give me anything or to add anything to my life, be it happiness or love or anything materialistic. I just want AN EQUAL who knows how to take care of himself, can be happy on his own, manage well his possessions, be productive most of the time, love by heart n soul, has got rid of his past traumas or wounds and related defence mechanisms (although more or less those defences always stay there but it can be dealt with sensibly) and is very clear about what he wants from me, from himself, his career n life in general, so that we can thrive together rather than any of us being a burden on the other. PURE PARTNERSHIP, NEITHER OWNERSHIP NOR PARENT-CHILD DYNAMIC.