Happy Healing :)

When you are used to present a good humoured self in front of others, others think that you don’t feel any pain, but, nevertheless, it’s a great way to deal with any kind of pain/injury/wounds. Only the strong ones have this capacity.

If I mattered

If my tears ever mattered,
You wouldn’t have let me cry,
If my smile ever mattered,
you would be here,
If my happiness ever mattered,
You wouldn’t have acted ignorant,
If I ever mattered,
You wouldn’t have left.

(Written in 2018 published on 6th sept, 2020)

Impossible.

All the things I had to do for you

All the things I had to say to you

Have now stayed in my heart forever,

And I can’t blame only you

Because it’s true

That we could be many things

But we both chose to make it

‘IMPOSSIBLE’ forever.

Pain brain drain 😢😭

I don’t know only pain of love. I have educational pain as well.

Educational pain is not always failing in an exam. Educational pain sometimes looks like this– You clear a national exam. You relinquish the claim, and a few years later, you need to clear it again.

.

My sleeplessness and nightmares are in constant battle

Of ‘which state is painful more.’

Why not??

People destroy your life beyond repair

And then expect you to sympathize with their pity party.

Because why not?

Crocodile tears shown afterwards always have appeal.

Poverty hits different.

They did not listen,

They never could..

Not that they were deaf

Their hunger was more important

They ran together in hundreds

Having no hearth to live in

Didn’t strike their mind what they could

And keeping a distance from their brethren

Was what they should.

Grief of death was big

Grief of living was bigger to contain

You live in beautiful houses

Spending time in luxury

You can understand that perception

It’s hard to feel their pain.

Internal conflict.

A part of me feels guilty for being this much privileged,

A part of me really grateful for the same,

A part of me wants to be of immense service to others,

A part of me too emotional

In search of love fulfilment,

digging all the parts’ grave.

Testing waters.

Testing my waters is going to be of no help,

When you don’t know how to swim.

Personal Blog- Volcanic Temperament.

One of my biggest problems is that when I get bored, I get too bored. Literally nothing can satisfy me. It’s not a kind of mood swing. I just need something to do, apart from my normal and then I feel like there is nothing apart from my normal. And, it usually happens when I miss somebody. Anger and frustration gets mixed up, and I feel highly energetic and it becomes almost impossible to release that energy, both mental and physical. In such a situation, either I become impulsive doing anything and everything I want to say or do, or become repulsive to every single thing and person, doing nothing at all, thinking nothing, feeling just like a zombie. Generally, I have a good self-control but when I decide to lose it, this moment arises. But the thing to remember here is that the moment is temporary but what I say in those moments is something that I have been keeping to myself for way too longer than required; high self-control is to be blamed here for that. It’s like my temperament is like a volcano.