Projection of neediness on the other person.

One thing I never do is to say it out loud that “I am the one you need” to any of my partners (past, present or prospective). I leave it on the other person to realize it or miss out on it. There is a lot of projection and manipulation in this phrase. Usually, the needy one tries to make the other feel needy of them and saying it quite loud is manipulative because then the other person really gets confused and somewhat begins to think the same way when this sentence is repeated too many times. It’s manipulative to say the least because it feels suffocating to be called what you are not (needy here) and being forced to be attached when you are not that attached. It’s a way to unnerve the other person or to try to make them look weak to themselves and to try to be a fake strength or help for them. You can understand by now that it’s a way of over-exaggeration of one’s importance in another’s life to hide one’s own weakness and neediness.

“If you don’t feel that way about anyone certainly, do not let them say this to you. Make it quite clear to them that you are not the needy one; maybe they are. And if you too are the needy one, then that’s a different thing. But still, if you don’t keep on saying this to them, then they also shouldn’t. Be very clear to others where and how you are needy, and where and how they are projecting their neediness on you. “

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