Showing off now, once n for all those MFs.


BA, LLB, MA(Pol.Sci), Researcher(pol.sci), 1-yr course in each-Criminology; Law n Med; Counselling.
Advocate, author(international law,fiction), poet, blogger, painter/sketcher, music creator, handicraft maker, linguist (english,hindi,punjabi,french,spanish). Cleared CLAT, AIBE, NET-JRF, HC CLERICAL EXAM, ICICI PROBATIONARY OFFICER EXAM.

Literally, Not Enough Space In Bio To Describe Myself.

I guess describing is insufficient for those motherfucker energy leeches. They’d need proofs as well and when I’ll give the proofs, they’d ask what did I gain from studying that much. If I’ll reveal about my finances, they will come as gold-digger motherfuckers. These show-off bitches don’t Shut The Fuck Up until you become just like them.

For your information, by studying this much I learnt How not to be STUPID NARCISSISTIC GOLD-DIGGER MOTHERFUCKER LIKE YOU. And by the way, why don’t you show ever what you are upto??? I will sooner or later upgrade myself from this as well, but you will carry on with your psychopathy throughout your life gaining sympathy and trying to bring others down who do not give a Shit to you otherwise.

COMPETE WITH THIS NOW AND THEN TALK SHIT!! 😘

Internal dialogue-narcissists and educated empath.

How narcissists’ minds work:

We will abuse you and your boundaries time and time again and if you suffer from it, we will give you a little bit of sympathy or will try to shatter you more if you try to expose us or our forever pathologically set minds. You will say “you can’t” but we will because we know we have always done that to many before you and will do with many after you because we stay in groups; if one falls off the track, the other one takes his place. We cannot be caught because of that, because we call our psychopathic groupism and weakness as our strength as we do not know that it’s our weakness.

My view-point about their behaviour:

Don’t worry. I know it is a mental sickness n you have my sympathy till you don’t offend me actually. It’s an incurable disease. It’s okay if you behave childish and do not know better or you think that you know better than others and still cannot behave like a mature adult. I understand this problem to its core. I have dealt with many like you in the past, even worse; you are nothing better even in psychopathy I guess. And trust me, it doesn’t bother me that much now because it is what it is; you cannot improve upon yourself and your ways, but I can, and I am at peace with it. Sorry for you though, that you have lost many authentic people in the process but I know you cannot do anything about it, it’s not in your capacity. You are mentally sick and/or under-developed, and nobody can do anything about your condition. Nobody can burden you more because you are already a burden on yourself.

Stay away from fake helpers(psychopaths) in order to really heal.

If you really want to heal, do not let any psychopath from your past help you even a bit. Some of them just want to boost their ego by doing so and others want to get something from you again, specially when you have had an experience of their selfishness in the past in the same sequence. If you let it happen, then the burden is put on you that you did not pay back, and then you will find yourself in the same loop of taking and giving ration of 1:2 (or maybe more). It’s not in the blood of some people to help without expecting something in return. Manipulation begins by giving you crumbs first and then expecting the whole loaf in return which you cannot afford over n over again with the same people and left with nothing in the end. If you will be unable to return the favour or will give equally and yet not what they want from you in return, you will be called selfish; if you will return them well and stop giving at some point, they will call you selfish again or somebody having no integrity; whereas if you will deny to get any help, you will be called egoistic. In any situation, you will be blamed for anything you will do just to keep you tied to their little finger or to make you a doormat for their mental and emotional filth. Some of those bitches would love to see you suffer emotionally because of their own miserable mentality. Here, let me tell you, being called egoistic for cutting them off is much much better than going through the same manipulative loop, getting your energy drained completely, losing a lot of relationships, your ability to trust anyone, your mental and physical health, etc. You have to remember that this psychopathy(narcissistic disorder) has no cure. It’s better to kick those people out of your life rather than being manipulated immensely, just because you want to look like a good person. You will find some much better people in the future for sure who will match your level of honesty, loyalty and integrity.

Suicidal thoughts experienced.

I want to share a part of my experiences for one more time related to suicidal thoughts because of this wave of mental health issues and advices shared due to Sushant Singh Rajput’s demise.

Why do I mostly refer to narcissism and psychopathy related to it the most? Why do you think that it has ingrossed so much inside of me and I observe such traits a lot?? It is because I have gone through that a lot.. I would even name those people responsible for my suicidal thoughts many a times. A few of you even know who I am going to name, so just AT and AT(two different people) would suffice.

When they make groups in which there is a so-called cool, charming, so called helpful co-ordinator the one who has dealt with you in any sense. He stalks you, frustrates the hell out of you, making fun of you and your behaviour, body shaming, calling you weird, psycho, idiot, stupid etc. through those accounts, non-cooperative, selfish, non-productive, unremarkable, the one who doesn’t value relationships, a snake/python, somebody having only bookish knowledge, rude, arrogant etc. etc. He does all this through others or fake identities so that there can be no proof against him. This has been my situation. But I would react through my real identity. And when I did respond calmly knowing that those were provocation tactics and thereafter cut every contact with those fake people and fake accounts, I was considered somebody who does not know how to maintain relationships. I knew my truth and to a good extent their truth as well.

I have been stalked not only through social media but through my neighbourers, electrician and driver as well. They thought that I didn’t get to know what’s going on, actually I had no evidence, so I had to keep quiet and carry on with how it was going on but trust me, it drove me insane to the extent that I myself felt like committing suicide because any and every person I tried to connect with, either of those psychopaths stalked that person as well and made that person join hands with them with their fake sweetness that they wanted to help me. I kept on detaching from every such person on whom I had a doubt that he/she was connected to either of these two, because why would I like to be stalked and mentally abused??

That so-called help was something that I had never asked for. I could ask for help from whomsoever I wanted myself. They just wanted to control me because they had the best source and way i.e. groupism through manipulation of minds. I could a lot of the times sense that they either wanted me to be on their side or they were in competition with me. That competition was about behaviour, they wanted to seem better than me in dealing with others. One of them always wanted to look better than me in intellect, so he always targetted my intellect only; the other one wanted to get *the best* one, if not me, then his partner was brought in competition with me. Snarky comments, taunting, accusing me for things that were actually my rights to do i.e. creating boudaries with them. One of them trying to play the pity party that I did never help him, though initially I was the one who always asked him what his problems were, but he never told, and when I stopped asking, he accused me of being insensitive for not being considerate to him for his so-called help. Let me explain what his help was- I had shared my family related trauma to him (twice), once when he himself shared his first and second time the next year. Okay, so just listening to me this much was a lot of help from his side?? And he always indirectly accused me that I could not understand him. Understand what?? His psychotic shit of stalking, lying, cheating, 3 gfs or multiple sex stories?? Sorry, but I cannot understamd what he meant by the word ‘understand’. He actually has always been in competition since day one because he feels like the most intellectual and most cooperative. He even hates Scorpio zodiac sign because I have scorpio moon sign(western astrology). LOL Sick AF. And whichever account I follow on instagram, he somehow (with fake accounts) try to connect with them as well, making them post stuff that can hit my psyche. And, in the end he wants to feel like he is the only caring one in my life. (Cut me some slack. I know you hate me.)

So, because of such instances I got detached from almost everyone including my school friends, college friends, online friends, I can’t even trust my neighbourers, electrician and driver anymore. Who knows my email id has also been hacked which I made public (unsure about this). I felt so lonely as I could not trust even a single person around. Even I had to break ties from my best friend of years (gaurav) as well. I used to share almost each and everything with him, things that I could never tell even my family members, I had that much trust on him but he as well ditched me by helping these psychopaths (I still can’t fathom how he got swayed by their psychopathic manipulation). So, I, sometimes, even had to fake sweetness to those on whom I had suspicion that they were connected to either or both of them. The more I did this, the more one of those two (the so called intellectual) began calling me fake, dark, psychopath(everything that actually he was, because he could prove it against me in his group and I could not as I did not have such stupid groups of Flying Monkeys).

Even now, whatever I say or do anywhere on social media, he reacts to it in any way possible. I have no other way than ignoring all that crap. For this reason, out of fear of not invoking reactions anymore or being compared with other girls (which is both of their nature i.e. making comparisons), I decreased my activities on social media as well interaction with any person. It was more like if I said I knew everything then I was hallucinating, if I acted like I knew nothing, then I was stupid or ignorant; basically according to them there was something wrong with me all the time and they were the helper.

Groupism in the name of cooperation,comparisons and breaking one’s boundaries are strong traits of narcissistic psychopathy. You will always find the victim lonely, depressed and seething angry from the inside as a result.

I want to say that it is not only about depression, it is more about not finding a way out of a suffocating situation that forces one to commit suicide as it creates a constant state of hopelessness in one’s mind. No matter how good one is doing in one’s life otherwise in terms of money, status, accomplishments, looks or how much strong one is mentally, etc., when one is forced to be controlled and isolated for years directly or indirectly, be it from family, friends, colleagues or otherwise, then it definitely creates an eternal void in someone’s mind. It is not about mental strength or mental weakness, it is more about not wanting to deal with an unbearable situation anymore, one loses hope about having any other possibility. Lucky are those who find the alternatives and tend to keep going.

What is the real deal with a narcissistic psychopath?

You may have met a few people in life who become irrational from time to time, it’s pretty normal as we all tend to be frustrated from daily hassles and act out irrationally as a result; but narcissistic psychopathy is much more than that. A narcissistic psychopath is very weak mentally.

A mentally weak person or psychopath will always try to bring you down upon being rejected or criticized even if you do it in a healthy way. The motive may range from attention seeking to vengeance. You may have moved on from the past hurt and are living on your own terms, but such a person cannot see that, thus by hook or by crook tries to affect you, if a positive way is not possible for him as you know his pattern of Imposing his so called help to you in order to make you his puppet later on, then it is done negatively through GASLIGHTING i.e. Using Fake Identity and Using Other People to instill a negative thought in you and instigate a reaction from you which in front of other people makes you look like a psychopath. Sometimes, or say mostly, the psychopath will call you a psychopath through those Fake Identities or Accounts, so that you react to it. When you react in any way, the psychopath’s motive gets fulfilled i.e. to feel effective/influencial by hook or by crook. Keep this in mind that psychopaths do not know fair play. They just want to fulfil their motives which are driven by irrational desires only. They do not have fixed principles. Even if they preach principles most of the times, more than 2/3rd of the times, it is just preaching without practice whereas if you preach any principle, they will test you on it over n over again, that too by trying those means through which you may stumble or divert from your principled path.

In lending help, basically the idea is to invest with one help to get emotional drama from you as a debenture over n over again because it satiates the inner void of a psychopath.

In testing you, the idea is to make others compare him with you, so that he can feel like a better one which he himself is not assured, as psychopaths are never self-assured, they mostly need other’s approval or praise and mostly do what is socially praise-worthy.

And, just in case he cannot do that on his own i.e. prove himself to be better than you then he will compare you with other people on quite irrelevant traits. You can feel that it is being done to downgrade or demean you. Or the psychopath will find a partner who would be Better Than You. Keep in mind the word *better* here.

In case you have dealt with that psychopath a lot of times and tried your best to avoid him, then the abovesaid methods will be repeated over and over again whenever the psychopath finds out that you are doing good in life or when you are at your lowest, because in both the cases psychopath can affect you. It’s just when you are doing average, the psychopath has nothing to do with you because at such a point he can think of him as the better one.

Last but not the least, a psychopath cannot leave you and it is not out of love or empathy, it is purely out of selfish motives of unfulfilled desire of controlling you. BREAKING YOUR PERMANENTLY SET BOUNDARIES EMPOWERS A NARCISSISTIC PSYCHOPATH, EITHER POSITIVELY OR NEGATIVELY, BUT THE ULTIMATE MOTIVE IS ALWAYS TO FEEL A CONTROL OVER YOU, AND/OR YOUR SURROUNDINGS AND YOUR LIFE. And when he fails in those motives, then his pity party begins to gain sympathy from his known ones that he is a good person who is only trying to help whereas you are the rude and arrogant one who could never understand him or his helpful advances, so that, either way, it’s a lost battle for you, either he will control you or you are the bad one.

ADVICE: Choose to let him make you the bad one or call you a psycho through fake accounts as it is a very little price to pay for living a life on your own terms uncontrolled by the same psychopath. Even if you lose certain people in the process, know that they were never your people, they were that psychopath’s acquaintances or flying monkeys only, losing whom is actually going to prove to be another relief for you in the long term.

If you will make him taste his own medicine, once in a while, trust me, you will attract a good amount of such instances in the future and it will become a never ending battle in which either you will lose most of the times or you will end up being a psychopath yourself. Though, do not be afraid to talk about your experiences openly as much as you want to. Exposing a narcissistic psychopath is crucial as it can help those in understanding the reality who were brain-washed by the narcissist and were helping him in innocense or compulsion. Once you know that your boundaries are being broken under the guise of goodness or through any negative tactic, never trust that person and try to keep a distance everywhere as much as possible, although you will be chased to be controlled, still RUN AWAY.

What serious psychopaths/narcs do?

1. Hide their real identity.

2. Instigate/provoke certain behavior in other person.

3. Try to confuse the other person.

4. Upon getting a reaction out of that other person due to that confusion created, call that person a psychopath.

5. Gossip about it to other people or make open accusations about the reactions.

If you fight well with the psychopath, you will be considered a psychopath; and if you get emotional, you will be sympathised with considering you weak mentally; and if you ignore, you will be instigated/provoked again after an interval of time and maybe in a different way.

Stay alert. If you won’t keep these things in your mind, it will be very easy for a psychopath or narcissist to manipulate you and/or people known to you. It’s very easy to be provoked but consider that the one who has hidden his identity is already a Coward, and who has gossipped or gathered others to discuss you or your reactions is Mentally Weak.

Miss__communicated.

Honestly, I am more disappointed with myself rather than disappointed with him for taking him as having good intentions at last, despite knowing the reality of his character for years.

Some dynamics stay the same,

Don’t blame the events,

When energy can be nothing but the same,

Forgiveness is a good virtue

Not for those having no sense of accountability

Or who just like to slip away

without any apology

They are toxic

No matter if you wanted to keep them close

Or if you did let them stay away.

Know the real deal.

It’s good to be co-operative,

But not that much that you turn your back towards your enemies or haters as an invitation to them to stab you,

Even if it’s just a filthy talk,

You never know who hates you and for what reasons,

thus once you notice any red flag,

I hope you don’t try to turn it into a white flag of peace,

Or try to be a dove in front of a hawk.

Robbing the varacity of victim’s truth. Tactics of a narc-part-3

“You are not sounding good.”

“You are miserable.”

“You cannot live peacefully.”

“You have inner work to do and improve upon what you say.”

“You are bitter.”

“You know only fight.”

“Spare me. I can’t take it anymore.”

“Leave me alone. I don’t want to listen to you.”

“ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS CONSIDER YOU MAD.”

A few responses of a narcissist when you begin to speak your truth; because when you do not share anything to anyone, the narcissist has an upper hand over you as he can tell anything to anyone about you, about your relationship with the narc, and your relation with others. It’s quite easy to brainwash others when you stay silent. When you begin to share your side of the story, that is the time when the narc pulls this kind of tactics to break you, shun you and silence your voice. It will never be done with facts. It will always be done with emotionally and socially acceptable manipulation in which your behavioural standard is first of all lowered down by getting a reaction out of you after giving you sly remarks on your work, ethics, behaviour, character etc. about which nobody or very few people (narc’s joinders) know, and when your behaviour comes out as sometimes socially unacceptable, then the narc uses this kind of manipulation to demean you and to lower the veracity of your reality in the eyes of others by showing them that there is a problem in you, not in the narc.

Always remember that the one telling the truth in a dynamic with a narc always sounds crazy, and it’s easy for the narc to prove it because the victim generally stays silent for a very long time due to various reasons (which I will discuss later) and when it becomes almost impossible to hide the truth, then the emotions explode intensely which makes others feel like the victim is imbalanced and of which narc always takes advantage.

How can you know who is lying here??

Ask for the explanation in details about the reality of each side from each side. Most often, the narc will reply with “I don’t know” or “I am wrong. I accept that. Please leave me alone.” or “She/he is crazy.” Or “I have better things to do. She/he needs help.” This kind of responses are given because the narc never has clarity of thought and those (narcs) who have, they have planned every step on how to bind the other person in a mental loop of abusive action and intense reaction. The explanation will never be factual from the narc’s side, mostly emotional, with distorted facts involving mostly the blame game or pity party.

Victim feels attacked for years and stays silent but when finally reacts, is considered insane, bitter, or narc and all the time when the victim stays silent, staying away from people due to depression or anxiety or paranoia that anybody can be an acquaintance of the narc, then the victim is considered self-centered and selfish (again the blame game).

My advice here is that, if you ever feel abused mentally or emotionally, do not stay silent about it. Talk about it to somebody trustworthy, and never to anyone in common relation to you and the narc. The more you will delay the reactions, the more you will sound crazy because at some point other people will also think that why you did not say anything at the time of abuse, and then you cannot explain enough.

Tactic of Triangulation used by narcissist.

“And now begins the game of Triangulation.”

I was wrong to call a pure narcissist a toxic empath when I can see clearly all the aspects of narcissism in the same person. Triangulation means comparing two people in which the one who is praised is used by the narcissist to demean the other person when that ‘other person’ does not adhere to the stupidity, toxicity and malicious behaviour or demands of the narcissist. This is done to lower the self-confidence of one of two people compared. You will mostly see a narcissist jumping from one person to another, praising highly one person one day and when that same person gets to know about the narcissist’s malice and call out about it or expose that behaviour, then that person is met with the Tactic of Triangulation.