People destroy your life beyond repair
And then expect you to sympathize with their pity party.
Because why not?
Crocodile tears shown afterwards always have appeal.
People destroy your life beyond repair
And then expect you to sympathize with their pity party.
Because why not?
Crocodile tears shown afterwards always have appeal.
Soo jagah muh maar ke
Kis muh se idhar aaoge?
Jab main chli jaungi
Fir mere liye bhi pachtaoge.
You will move a mile
And think that you ran hundred
When you don’t have a yardstick to measure what you are doing.
People read and study a lot
Not for no reason,
It helps in knowing how much you know
How much you need to imbibe and learn
What you need to eliminate from your mind,
You can think that you have created something exceptional
Until you know that it’s already available, tested and dead;
Reading, studying and learning is so important
It eliminates the IGNORANCE dread.
(Getting the already existing knowledge, it’s opposition to test its veracity and the results that came out and the conclusions drawn is so important. People generally think a lot on their own and then feel that they know a lot, like they have found something exceptional, they keep those ideas with them for years, struggle to make them a reality, only to end up in knowing that the same ideas were carried out in the past and failed miserably. It’s not bad to carry on with the same or similar ideas again as there is still possibility of their success due to changed circumstances but thinking that they surely will end up in success, specially when the independent variables are uncontrollable, those ideas prove to be just utopian views. That’s why knowledge of what worked in the past and what did not is really very important, be it regarding any field or realm.)
I remember
how you made me go
all dreamy with you at times
Just when I got up in the morning
Knowing it be my weak time to control
You made my heart thumping
Raising for you my yearning.
Not knowing
what’s on going
I know life wants me to keep enjoying
Every feeling
Every impulse I gain
Not wanting me to numb down
Needing me to love everything
Like, love, loss and pain
Stigmatic as I could be
About being so psychic
I know nothing like intuition now-a-days
Feeling free from that heavy load
I am stunned with the sensory relief
Though I am feeling everything
I am unburdened of intuitive grief.
Testing my waters is going to be of no help,
When you don’t know how to swim.
Honestly,
Call me stone-hearted ass
But about it I don’t care
Because I know that’s what I become
After my immense love is taken for granted
Mind manipulated
And situations converted to my agony.
But believe it or not
I can feel others’ feelings
But I don’t want to do anything about it
Because I know if I will do
That will just put us all through the same hurricane
From which we all got out
After so much time, difficulty and pain.
It is one of those dreams, those vivid ones that I can feel in real and see or feel very clearly. I am feeling joy, excitement and awkwardness all at the same time sharing it here. I saw it between 4-5 am because I got up at 5 am. I see this kind of energetically real dreams very less but with more or less modification they come true or at least energetically whatever their significance or vibe is, it turns into reality.
Okay, so, coming to the dream real quick. I am in a different place than my native one, probably a village but that’s probably near delhi (I saw the dream with the same topic and same energetic vibe in delhi a few months ago also). I went to a gurudwara, probably Bangla Sahib, did a few general rituals related to prayers that are done in sikhism. In the next flash, I am with somebody with whom I got married without anyone’s knowledge and we are in a village (vibe was either of a village near delhi or somewhere in maharashtra or kerela, I cannot point out exactly because it was a vibe and I cannot explain this kind of dreams too well with surety but they feel so real) hiding from a group of people, probably the people from his side or against him (a group definitely related to him only and we are hiding because of our marriage). That group is not dangerous but we have to hide, I don’t know why, but probable reason is it’s an inter-religion marriage; and I have no idea what his religion is. We probably did court marriage. Now, we are lying closely together, snuggled, I told him, “I am afraid constantly that they will find us.” A bus arrives outside the room in which there are a few people. He says, “don’t worry even if they come, we are together. I have loved you since forever.” I am not lying I have waited for someone to say this to me whole of my life and I am listening to it from somebody who has already become mine (but under a fear?), that’s a beautifully strange feeling of both security and insecurity, pure love and eternal togetherness. Then one by one people have begun coming to us and who are they? First of all enters one of my aunts, with prasad (a religious offering) in her hands, brought from a far off religious place, and she gave both of us blessings and said, “finally, you both have gotten married. I cannot describe my happiness in words. Stay blessed. Stay happy. Stay together.” Okay, so maybe we had aquainted my family that we had gotten married and were staying at that place. Then came my another two aunts, one happy and another’s vibe I could not infer; and then entered one of my college friends from the law college, happy and congratulating me; one south indian hindu priest with a bowl of parsadam, which he hands over to me, and I eat it. I ask my husband where his portion was, to which the priest said that that it was for women only because of the particular ingredients, it is not suitable for men (I have no idea of ‘what and why’ about it because I have never heard of anything like that, I look at him with disbelief and little confusion in my mind about why did I eat it). Then one of my aunts tells me that she has informed his family also and they must be arriving soon. We both(him and I) look at each-other, with a look of anticipation about their reactions but I am sure that that group about which we are afraid is not his family, that’s some outsider group that is against our marriage whereas our families just did not know that we got married. Probably we are going to get married again according to rituals of both of our religions, in the presence of our families.
How and where the marriage happened, I could not see that. I could not even see his face. It was purely a feeling. I know that person, I am so sure that I know him but I don’t know yet who he is because I could not see his face, I could only feel him. You know that feeling when souls get so connected that the looks don’t matter anymore, that kind of feeling; but it was so real. I don’t even know if I have met that person or not, the vibe was just that- a known person, friend or stranger, I don’t know the face or whereabouts of him but I know him. And, by the time I got up, there was no fear of that particular group, just an aching need to know my future partner with whom I have gotten energetically eternally connected, and a beautiful feeling that it is going to be strange and messy in the beginning but our union will continue beautifully. And it is definitely going to be a love marriage.
Strange but a beautiful dream.
Did I say it out loud
Or didn’t I say it loud enough??
The question is not how you said it
Still the answer lies in what somebody heard in it.
You can pour your heart out for years-
Singing, rhyming, reciting poetry,
Making public displays of affection,
But the one who doesn’t want to feel it,
Will find it merely a noise to the ears.
“Right in the middle of chaos,
When the eyes lose their dreams,
When the mind will be shattered,
When the soul will feel like flying away from your body,
When the blood will be cold,
When the sun will feel eclipsed,
When the winds will turn into storms,
When the hills will be melting,
When there will be no hope,
I’ll meet you there”, he said,
The one who wants to hold me tight,
And wants to win for me any fight,
with that selfless love,
My imaginary lover;
My darkness would haunt me with these thoughts
The thoughts of my past..
With a hope in my heart
To find hope and love in someone else forever.
There is no mess, storm and darkness,
My blood is free flowing,
My soul is pure,
I am my own cure,
My mind full of light and existence glowing;
I am glad that I found my love,
Within me, for me, forever. ❤