THE WORDS I WILL NEVER SAY..

The moon bestowed so much beauty to your darkness,
that the sun got burned with jealousy.

I feel so lucky to know you,
I feel I am living only to write about you.

Your eyes make think of the sky,
Far reaching,
Beguiling,
Mesmerizing,
Endless beauty.

Just for once
say that you want me,
I promise,
I’ll leave my own body
if I will have to
For you.

Your love has no beginning,
My love has no end.

I am just fearful that
somebody might be praying
to be with you
more than me.

I am terrified with how much selfless I have become
after falling in love with you,
I am dying each moment
just to see you lively.

I don’t know what twin flame feels like,
but I have never felt before like it feels with you.

If you have planned to leave me,
Promise me
That you will be mine after our reincarnation into the next birth,
and every other birth,
as birds of same feather,
as wolves of the wild,
as shoots of the same roots,
as humans bearing the same child.

I know you were also into me,
maybe not as much as I was,
I know we felt a lot together,
maybe not for ever it was.

When I was in awe of you,
I was in reality in awe of me;
how could I find somebody so lovable,
by loving you I was loving me.

It’s strange that I have become so tolerant with you,
the things I would have thrown out of my life,
the kind of people I could never deal with,
you showed me the same kind of vibe,
I still could not let you go out of my life.

Love is not blind,
It’s our mind that plays the tricks,
seeing the devil playing its cards,
we begin playing with it.

I can’t fall weak,
I have the love
for both of us.

I wish we met a little younger,
maybe the stars would have broken in a different way
and we could end up together
in a beautiful way.

Those who say it’s easy to move on from somebody,
They definitely haven’t met you,
and they undoubtedly haven’t loved like I love you.

Her first and last wish must be to be with you,
Mine is to see you happy,
So unfortunate of me,
your happiness doesn’t reside with me.

If they can create a competition in love,
I hope you choose to lose,
for who would like to win
is not a true lover.

Let’s seek love like the ultimate truth,
once you get to know it
you’ll feel like even your existence is a lie;
Nothing is above and beyond true love.

The first time we met I was afraid
how important you could be to me,
I could see the potential
like something in you was calling to me,
something unknown,
something different,
The second time we met I was afraid no more,
I surrendered to it,
and ever since,
I haven’t found an escape.

No matter what you do to me,
You are somebody I can never call unworthy of love,
In you I see myself,
I can’t love myself enough,
But I can love me,
through you.

Till the end of time,
If I ever have to choose between my love and your happiness,
I will choose your happiness without a doubt.

I have loved before you also,
But never like this.

You call yourself weird,
I find you so easy to understand.

I distanced myself so that you could live better,
I felt like I was being your cage,
our friendship was fettering your spirit,
this distance will set you free
making you run far away from me,
with joy you will squeal,
and even with tears in my eyes
that will be the prettiest sight for me.

I will break into a zillion pieces to keep you whole,
If I can’t do that for thee,
then this love was never meant to be.

Passion never turned into obssession,
Feelings never became chains,
You never became a possession,
This relationship never got measured with gains.

You found out all about me
just to leave me.
Was I that bad or that good?

I wish that the stars break at least once for me,
For me to be one with you,
And this time I will choose that moment to continue forever.

You and I are imperfectly perfect together.

I know you love me
Not as much as I love you
But I know you love me too.

The time our lips met
I felt all of my older wounds healing
You were not only the balm to my wounded soul
You were much much more
You were that elixir that I was yearning for for years.

I did not give up on you,
I was seeing if you would.

You made me feel so free,
that I got bound with you
in that freedom.

THE BLISS

Hither and thither

Placing anything anywhere

Sprinkling sparkles on the ashes of what’s ruined

They think that they have achieved a blissful state

‘The bliss of ignorance.’

Digging deeper into what is unknown

Bolting the door shut to external screams

The peace that was always within me

I have found that bliss

‘The bliss of peace.’

WHAT STILLNESS OF MIND IS..

Neither hopeful about something nor hopeless, you just have to make peace with what is. Situations might and will change in the future but you cannot take the present for granted. What exists now is real, everything else is your thought. Once you commit to improve your present, be positive, love yourself, love your life the way it is, everything good begins to get attracted to you. But it does not mean that only desirable events will happen, even negative and bad experiences will add to your life. Being positive does not mean that you can have or attract nothing negative in life once you choose to be positive, it just means that whatever will happen you will accept and handle it. You don’t feel lost when you live in reality. You know anything and everything takes efforts and yet the results are neither guaranteed nor parmanent, you can just have a plan in your mind and work towards it. Yin and yang is the law of nature, i.e. two contradicting forces always co-exist, thus any situation has both the sides to it, it all depends on your psyche how you see it particularly and that’s where your mindset comes into play. Moreover, there is always an invisible side to everything, that’s the force that keeps every kind of energy moving; although you may take something as positive or negative but that kinetic force is the one that keeps on changing the dynamics between any two sides of anything, be it separating those forces or uniting them. Your mind is definitely the most powerful thing and can control that dynamic or prove to be that third force but sometimes you really have to bring that energy to stillness, and stop thinking about it too much because if you won’t stop trying to control your future, then your future will begin to control your mind in the present. So, try to observe stillness of mind. It helps a lot in chaos. Stillness of mind does not mean making it numb, being unable to think through things straight, it actually means thinking straight about what is, and not about what can be and what should be. Some people specifically meditate for it, but according to me, it’s all about your level of understanding and perception. It also enhances your level of self-control and vice-versa.

Truth of a nasty mastermind

One can feel like a mastermind,

Trying every whim with every sullen desire,

Inaugurating chaos and sliding through it like a snake,

Escaping every sight but keeping prying eyes on every person around,

Who believes a lot in make,

Trying to be a leader, showing facundity hiding ruthlessness,

A raising voice howsoever slight can he try to always suppress;

The mischief committed,

The people harmed,

The hearts broken,

The minds disturbed,

In his falsity he never did falter,

Trying to look like a saviour,

He proved to be my and many others’ halter.

“Shed your filthy facade damn it”

Even if I shout, cry n show angst,

He will say that I am just throwing a fit;

People like this have many accomplices around,

to which someone mentally weak feels bound;

But here I am and the universe with me,

How much more can he make me lonely?

To a loner who stays with the universe in touch,

That filthy mastermind can’t cause harm much,

No matter how much a sick person keeps it curtailed,

Universe has its own way for the truth to be unfurled.

STRANGE FEELING

I wish events could be different,

A little strange but straight,

I am feeling a game being played again,

I am sensing that churn in my gut again,

Can’t point at what exactly,

This is hitting my mind abruptly,

Something is seeming to be settling,

Something is seeming to be lost,

I wish if only I could point out at what

is making my heart feeling frost,

The time I could feel a rush of warmth,

I am feeling like I’m moving into pain again,

Dilemma between heart and mind,

I want to choose my heart again,

But the mind has a value that my heart could never gain,

Whatever and howsoever the events turn out to be,

I want to remain working and sane,

For my heart’s decisions have ditched me in the past,

It’s my mind that took me away from that burn,

I wish only those win in the end,

Who have loved truly,

know how to get hurt,

And from their mistakes how to learn,

For I am tired of figuring out what is boon, what is bane,

And tired of my efforts to always go in vain.

DEMANDING TIME

And if I say one more time

I need some time

I feel I will lose you again

So I wear a smile

Not having a word to say

I can’t make you wait

I can’t get you now

I can’t let you go

I can’t make you stay

So just a smile I can give away.

I know there are many who want you

And I can’t do anything

Even if I stay

I think you will go away.

When I think of you

I remember the past

when I was helpless

the way I am now

I can’t even say

what I have in my mind,

Just want to win upon demons in my own mind.

Depressed soul like me is not meant for you,

I am trying to give upon my dark side

my shadow side.

If that love even begin

I want it to stay forever,

I can’t handle anymore

the repetition of the past ever.

Just in case I will have to lie,

I will just use a smile,

For what’s going on in my mind

I need to keep it to myself for a while,

For I know that you will help

And I don’t want to feel like a burden

I want to be happy,

Though not all out of a sudden.

Sometimes, I think I complicate things,

But then feel that I am just simplifying,

Though I know I am very strong

But half of me is dying.

This on and off is ripping me apart,

I don’t know what to say what time,

I feel the pull with a certainty,

The push also has a message sublime.

This feeling makes me so anxious,

How do I put my sanity at stake again,

I don’t want to feel like a burden,

I want to meet when on my own

I’ll be happy again.

REMEMBER YOUR STANDARDS

When you pick yourself up

also remember to lose everyone who can bring you down,

You have seen good in people more than they deserved,

You have seen bad in life more than you deserved,

Maybe you have to learn how to make people meet at your own level

although doing it by being rudely stern,

Maybe the standards you have created about your own behaviour

is all they have to see and learn.

MARSHY WATERS

I can’t create anything anymore,

I am feeling stuck in the similar patterns,

Trying to come out of the marshy waters,

I try to push through the mud with limbs n cry,

But all in vain,

Then an idea striking my mind,

Rather than getting out of it,

I shall stay quiet and calm,

I will slide through this as well,

Feeling free in the air of happiness,

Even after all this pain.

My kind of love..

Walking on eggshells in the name of somebody’s ‘care’,

Being questioned about your every move here and there,

Where acceptance comes after perfectionism,

Where life is lived after someone’s permission,

Is not love and never my kind of love.

Where him and I enjoy n thrive equally, unitedly as well as separately,

Where even after staying for a long time apart, trust persists in the heart,

Where no one else’s opinions matter, our mutual understanding is better,

Where we feel so free, we become bound in that freedom’s ecstasy,

That’s my love, that’s my kind of love.

SOUL LEARNING

I don’t know twin flames and soulmates anymore,

I want a love in human form, raw and pure,

Souls gravitate towards each other for sure,

But what they are meant to teach remains obscure,

The time we reach a point of learning a lesson,

Our mind fills with a lot of abrasion,

Those abrasions can’t be undone but can be subdued,

Those lessons can be learnt even whilst the confidence you exude.

The problem is not the confidence here,

The problem is the lack of love,

be pardoned not any to spare,

when the jar of self-love is not filled,

How can in loving any other one be skilled.

Self soul searching is the root of being aware,

Anything comes after this in the life’s stair.