Self-worth..

I used to fit

into the tiniest box

that only had a wrapping paper looking like love,

I take up my whole space now,

the good n bad,

the clean n nasty,

and see who can fill me up with love

like oxygen somehow.

(Written on 30th oct, 2020)

Strength..

I loved myself through bits n pieces

Collected a tsunami of emotions in a tear-drop,

Shed it in a fraction of a second

And stood tall holding myself together, having within, a ray of hope.

Quote-Newest crush 🤣

Do you ever look at you and start having a crush on yourself??

YOUR REAL STRENGTH YOU MAY NOT KNOW ABOUT.

You do not become a weak person as a whole if you fall from time to time and become heart-broken and cry.. It’s a strength to be vulnerable like that, actually, a lot of strength in it. People boast of being strong while being cunning and toxic, but they never know that they are actually the weakest. Strength lies in being true to yourself and accepting your emotions, no matter how low you feel feeling them. Only the strongest ones can touch the rock-bottom over and over again and bounce back higher than before every time..Even though it does not happen so every single time, still, seeing the rock bottom has a lot of strength in it.

Another thing only strong people can do is realizing their own mistakes and faults. You will mostly see the weakest ones doing wrong to others and having no explanation for that, even to themselves. It gives them cheap thrills to provoke, frustrate and suffocate others. But if you do something like that on impulse and can realize and apologize for your fault genuinely, and if you can learn how to get a grip over your impulses as well after such incidences, you are strong. You are very strong.

THIS IS SOMETHING I SAY TO MYSELF A LOT AND NOW, I AM PASSING IT TO YOU, SO THAT YOU KNOW HOW STRONG YOU ARE !! 🖤❤

(Originally posted on 1st feb,2021)

Something constant.

I don’t need reasons to be happy, I need reasons to be sad or depressed and I never go on looking for those reasons. That’s why I avoid most people. I am a happy, productive and entertaining person basically but outside energy always (and I really mean ALWAYS) become a block or a shadow over my positive n optimistic personality, and then I cannot get rid of it for weeks or months. I have traumas that I still haven’t talked about to a single person on earth (literally nobody even if a few of you know many of my secrets, still there are some things I never tell anyone; neither family, or bestest of friends in the past or even a therapist) but I know really well how to give it my all to my future rather than sulking in the past. Attachments happen but I can easily get rid of it, basically being a detached person. Failures happen but I usually have 2-3 more plans after that. My life flows generally as I expect it to. But outside energy always happens to be a block or a shadow over my positives. If I keep any person away, he/she has directly or indirectly added blocks in my life. Why would anyone think that I’d like to invite the same kind of energy in my life again??? I really am not interested in Jumping in the mud or letting people throw it at me and then waste my time n energy in cleaning myself of it whereas the best option always is to look at it, ignore and avoid it and move forward. I don’t know how other people’s mind work, but if they don’t get this basic thing, then it’s completely their problem. I want to keep somebody close who can be equally positive, clear-minded and productive, provided I have not seen the otherwise in them in the past, although everybody can change into the former kind but probability is uncertain to me, and I avoid uncertainty now. I don’t want somebody to give me anything or to add anything to my life, be it happiness or love or anything materialistic. I just want AN EQUAL who knows how to take care of himself, can be happy on his own, manage well his possessions, be productive most of the time, love by heart n soul, has got rid of his past traumas or wounds and related defence mechanisms (although more or less those defences always stay there but it can be dealt with sensibly) and is very clear about what he wants from me, from himself, his career n life in general, so that we can thrive together rather than any of us being a burden on the other. PURE PARTNERSHIP, NEITHER OWNERSHIP NOR PARENT-CHILD DYNAMIC.