Regret..

As mad as she was for him,

She’d regret pushing him away whole of her life.

Tragic irony..

You will see a jealous soul never growing,

It will burn despite having everything

That you love,

And it will always be

Because it can never do

The way you love.

Finding you..

I have a very beautiful picture in my mind….

The stolen piece is my old you

That I am trying to find…..

YOU THINK??

We were supposed to be as one

The joke of the year or life??

What did you do for that

Apart from running away from me

And being thankless for all of my love

For getting some crumbs from other

And ending up with nothing from there..

Now you gotta put it all on me??

Can you move with integrity against a narcissist??

Moving with integrity against a narcissist takes a toil on you, both mentally n physically.

When you are offended, that too without a fault of you or provocation, you feel like beating the shit out of the offender.

You know you have lost a lot, not for your own faults, but because of the same offender’s manipulation tactics.

And nobody can understand your anguish, only you can because you have had to bear the loss. The biggest loss being of your love, that you cannot bear.

And when you speak up about it, that psychopath would either take the turn next in offending you again or would try her best to be the loving n impressive person, which is actually the fake n temporary behaviour that is a trademark of narcissists, to behave very lovingly, politely and impressively after offending others or doing wrong to others in order to save oneself from the criticism or deserving hatred or other consequences. It actually happens because the narc has put her shit (mental filth) over the other person for the other to suffer mentally from it when the psycho knows that that other person will not take revenge.

The anger stays in the person offended which makes that person to talk negatively incessantly, depresses mentally and makes ill physically and when that happens, the narcissist rises again as the harmonious, loving and kind person to impress others who is a piece of shit from the core.

….

I always feel half of me

Gone away with you.

Loads in depression.

Sometimes, your biggest achievement is to talk while you have no mental energy to even speak a word,

do all of your works of the day while you have no physical energy either,

And to smile when all you feel is emptiness,

To have hope while all you want is to scream and cry out loud not knowing what to do about what’s bothering you.

(Originally posted on 12th june,2020, when I was in severe depression)

Your spell.

Your furious tongue slithering though my neck,

From here to there,

Touching me at places

Was burning my desire like hell,

Peaking my arousal

Rushing the adrenaline through my veins

Making me feel lost

Under your sensual spell.

Impossible wish.

I wish..

I could see you

Hear you

Talk to you

Hug you and share a smile..

Some things really become impossible..

I can do that only in my dreams

or wide awake in my mind..

Sometimes I feel lost and blank

Sometimes thoughts run faster than turbine..

I wish I could do something,

I wish I could stop you,

I wish I did not let you go there,

I wish I could find a way..

But there is no way..

There is no going back..

This is the tragedy..

I cannot bring you back.