Looking into the void for hours,
I try to ditch my own emptiness
And fail,
Never knew I could be such a failure.
(Originally posted on 19th aug, 2020 as I had lost one of my Buas (paternal aunt) I could not describe how much grief I was in.. I was completely shattered…..)
Don’t go back to your old ways,
Try to get out of that mud,
There is love and light for you to grow,
You are still an about to bloom bud,
Hands folded, head held high,
You have to forget your heart’s cry,
When something and someone is pure,
It is rewarded for sure,
Let the times be obscure,
You have to hear past the tumultous,
The sound of nature,
It bestows the real things the strength to endure;
Even if your heart is breaking into a billion pieces,
Just let the rivers of pain flow,
Because days and nights keep shifting,
But always after the darkness,
We feel the sunrise’s glow.
(First published on 17th Jan, 2020)
Sometimes, your biggest achievement is to talk while you have no mental energy to even speak a word,
do all of your works of the day while you have no physical energy either,
And to smile when all you feel is emptiness,
To have hope while all you want is to scream and cry out loud not knowing what to do about what’s bothering you.
(Originally posted on 12th june,2020, when I was in severe depression)
What are you left with now??
Everything I had before I began thinking that I was losing everything.
You have some magic in you
that just snatches me out of routine
And makes me get lost in life of dreams.
As mad as she was for him,
She’d regret pushing him away whole of her life.
You will see a jealous soul never growing,
It will burn despite having everything
That you love,
And it will always be
Because it can never do
The way you love.
I have a very beautiful picture in my mind….
The stolen piece is my old you
That I am trying to find…..
“We were supposed to be as one“
The joke of the year or life??
What did you do for that
Apart from running away from me
And being thankless for all of my love
For getting some crumbs from other
And ending up with nothing from there..
Now you gotta put it all on me??
Moving with integrity against a narcissist takes a toil on you, both mentally n physically.
When you are offended, that too without a fault of you or provocation, you feel like beating the shit out of the offender.
You know you have lost a lot, not for your own faults, but because of the same offender’s manipulation tactics.
And nobody can understand your anguish, only you can because you have had to bear the loss. The biggest loss being of your love, that you cannot bear.
And when you speak up about it, that psychopath would either take the turn next in offending you again or would try her best to be the loving n impressive person, which is actually the fake n temporary behaviour that is a trademark of narcissists, to behave very lovingly, politely and impressively after offending others or doing wrong to others in order to save oneself from the criticism or deserving hatred or other consequences. It actually happens because the narc has put her shit (mental filth) over the other person for the other to suffer mentally from it when the psycho knows that that other person will not take revenge.
The anger stays in the person offended which makes that person to talk negatively incessantly, depresses mentally and makes ill physically and when that happens, the narcissist rises again as the harmonious, loving and kind person to impress others who is a piece of shit from the core.
I Think For All 