One of my biggest problems n biggest blessings is that I never fit in, since my very childhood. I can be jovial n polite with all but I have never been involved in any group, be it in school, college or work; AND I love my life this way. I don’t feel like I am missing out on something by not getting involved with any kind of group, rather I feel good because I stay away from a lot of groupist biases, and mental and behavioural inhibitions.
What would you do if you had no inhibitions??
DO THAT !!
May get imprisoned later on,
DO THAT !!
A lot of the times, I have to make my own mind convinced that those who have not studied Law, don’t get the Principle of Things as much as those who have studied it, and those who have not studied psychology really cannot understand the tactics of manipulation, realness and worn mask for Image Maintenance; And those who have studied both, really know the means and effects of PROVOCATION.
So yeah, people can Bitch about me behind my back, take the wrong side all the time or be toxic to me despite me suffering the dirty mind games of someone else, Still, in the end, I find contentment in that my Character is much much stronger than anyone’s fake image.
Anyone who has studied n has experience in both of these can straight up tell the difference.
And, coming onto social and peer pressure, I am an acer at standing alone and against the crowd who doesn’t get the principle of things.
If even after me suffering from mental turmoil and offended boundaries and being Provoked continuously, anyone is going to call me Toxic for reacting to the Shit a Bitch was throwing at me, those who Bitch behind my Back are also the same Toxic Bitches, they never know better and are only happy in their own Delusioned Little World of Fake Ass Shit !!
Nevermind ! I know how to handle such Bitches who first waste my time and energy and then ACT like the Goody-Good to gain validation and sympathy only, when I try to return their Trash Energy. ALAS ! returning that toxic shit is too Taxing on my mental n physical health. I am sure that such a Bitch has nothing important to do in her life, but My Every Single Minute Is Valuable as only I know what it entails to me.
(Original posting date: 20th april,2021)
Whenever I be in my next relationship, I’m gonna see if my would-be life partner would be single for at least six months next before our meeting or not. I don’t want any weak ass that cannot live alone unlike me. It may sound like too much to many but the real strong ones are like that only-they may like a few here n there as a part of courtship but they never enter into relationship out of necessity i.e. just because they need somebody to be by their side; they never feel like settling until they get exactly the kind of person they want and are strong enough to live alone till they get that one. So, I’ll know that my partner truly would be wanting me and not settling with just out of his needs. Secondly, this kind of a person won’t run away to anyone whenever things between us will become tough; it will be only us managing our boundaries for each-other rathee than destroying each-other’s boundaries for fulfilling one or other’s needs or for letting any outsider break them.