This post is just to thank everyone here who stays patient with me. Sometimes, I cannot interact via comments because I feel shut down due to personal reasons n find it difficult to talk to anyone. Sometimes, you all have to deal with my negative posts involving anguish described in anger n rage. My family as well has to deal with my furious nature. Although, it has reduced drastically in comparison to the last year but still I feel that nobody else than me deserves to deal with those vibes. The darkness should stay with the person to whom it belongs and be released too in a healthy way. I find writing and painting as the mediums to release the negativity that engulfs me, from which I am unable to release it through Art as I can only paint good stuff. It’s only through writing that I can release my worst of dark emotions, and it’s really very important for me to release anger, otherwise I get sick physically as well (fever n low immunity). So, I just want to thank you all (including my family) for being there in my lows as well, and not only in the times I write something good having some good vibes in it, full of love and beauty. You all are Amazing Ones..
I tell you one thing about kindness and why I cannot forgive Intentional Faults in behaviour. Mistake done once is okay to me, I do not even pay much heed to it and ignore it like nothing happened, but, if the same thing is done twice, then it’s a choice, and when you have made a choice to be a defaulter/culprit, you cannot be forgiven because your intention is to commit that act which offends my boundaries- psychological, social or physical.
In law, the culprit deserves and is punished after the conviction is proved. Apologies become meaningless after that because the damage has been done to the victim and the situation cannot be reverted back to its original position. Motives do not matter in convictions, the act done and the intention to do that act are enough to prove the commitment of the crime.
Anyone may say that they did something wrong to me because of this/that. Here, I rarely consider the WHYs because the first time, I can go into the ‘why’ of something done to me because I really want to understand the psychological reason behind it, but the second time the ‘why’ becomes useless and the apologies become meaningless, and thus, forgiving becomes almost impossible, as the second time it is someone’s choice to offend me and/or my boundaries.
I am describing this because many people don’t get it why I am so unforgiving. I apply law, science, and psychology in every single thing. People usually don’t get where I come from.
Also, if I am kind, it does not mean that I am and I have allowed anyone to be informal in interactions with me. Kindness and informal behaviour are completely two different things. I am usually kind and formal. Being informal with anyone takes me a lot of time and interactions. This is how I am since my very childhood. You can stay assured that I have been informal with, at most, about 5-6 people (apart from my family members) in my entire life. Kindly respect that as it’s one of my boundaries i.e. not being informal with anyone without a conscious decision on the part of both the parties i.e. me and the other person.
These two virtues are very core of my personality that others usually find confusing and difficult to understand or deal with, and I hope that many things are clear now.
Please give upon the idea that somebody has to suffer in other areas of their life, so that the mental leeches can pause their toxicity from affecting that person. Reading “Be kind, because you don’t know what somebody is going through in their life” just feels like you are begging narcissists and psychopaths to pause their non-sense or give someone the permission to live. No ! This is really wrong. Actually, “be kind or not to anyone but don’t be unkind to anyone for no reason” should be abided by as a norm. Narcissists and mental leeches do interfere in anyone’s life and talk shit about anyone’s life for no reason because it gives them cheap thrills. One really doesn’t have to ask them to stop doing that non-sense. It’s in their blood, in their psyche. Their soul is evil. They won’t stop for the sake of humanity. They will pause their shit because you asked them to give permission to someone to live their life, and as it will enhance their ego, they will stop for a while and continue with their psychopathic behaviour again when they will see that person living their life normally. Envy comes natural to such miserable people. So, this kind of words never work with narcissists, psychopaths, mental leeches, and energy vampires. And no ! They are not going to change for you, for your words, or for anyone. They are mentally sick to the point of being criminals, and that’s about it !