Munching over??

They might have got a few crumbs from somebody by talking shit about you for a few days,

What now??

Empty handed??

Starving??

Behavioural differences-mistakes and faults.

The difference in maturity shows here;

If they say that something is disturbing to them, I stop doing that stuff and apologise,

Whereas if they find that something is disturbing to me(certain behaviour,certain words,emojis), they do it over and over again, sometimes out of habit and sometimes to tease (cheap thrills), apology is a far off thing; and even if an apology is offered, the same behaviour begins after an interval of time and they demand forgiveness over and over again without learning anything from the previous ones. Definitely, mistake can be forgiven but faulty behaviour stuck in personality cannot be forgiven or ignored.

And then they wonder why am I not interested in keeping such people close to me. Certainly, I want people of the same maturity level close to me.

FREE AS FUCK !!

I can only tell how much free I feel now

Free to speak up my mind

Free to act my heart out

Free to love anyone I want to

Free to choose what to make my life about,

Shackled I felt

For a really long time

To soothe someone’s ego

To soothe one’s mind,

Out of respect I did it so wrong

That I cared about one’s selfishness

made my freedom in those shackles grind.

Self-love.

“Why don’t I get love the way I want it” I asked,

“Because you love yourself more than anyone can” he replied,

And I found a compliment in that that stabbed right in my heart.

Only if you could listen to my heart,

It still beats your name.

You are the only key to my ever locked heart.

My ground.

Show me something different,

To get something different,

How many times the behaviour needs to move in circles??

Karmic bonds, I get that are hard to go away from,

So were mine,

Did I never love any of them??

I did !

I did love them to the core of my heart.

It took me to shred it to pieces

And collect it completely once again.

I get what you may be going through

I cannot deny the depth of your love for somebody else,

Nor the depth of her love for you.

But

I know something that is true,

He loves her more than ever you will do,

Just like I love you.

Loyalty speaks a lot,

Waiting for somebody for months and year speaks a lot,

Respectinh someone,

their boundaries

and understanding their feelings

Again speak a lot.

And I am not saying all this just because I want you,

I am saying this out of experience.

Shit happens. It happens a lot.

I can understand that.

Even if you won’t be with her,

I am not going to think that you are mine.

I require a lot from somebody,

Literally the whole of him,

And if you cannot stand your ground for long

And if you cannot be your own

How can you ever be mine,

And I am not interested in

Standing there in this place empty handed

Calling myself your when you cannot say you are mine.

Helpless.

My horoscope read today “somebody would interfere in your love life” and it was not wrong, she did, she would do every fucking single time and to my dismay, I cannot do anything about it and I don’t even want to do anything when you are happy getting half of somebody, stay there.

My whole needs whole of you, not a small bit less than that.

AT and AT-(hidden narcissistic loop-2,trying to control other person)

I am sure many people interfere and try to spoil somebody’s love but you can only add to one’s anxiety and depression but cannot reduce love one feels for another but your ego will never let you understand this. Using controlled posts to hit on one’s psyche or trying to talk to that person by using other people’s account which that person cannot recognise easily means shit when somebody knows that you are a piece of shit who has been doing that from years. You may succeed in between because that person did not have you even in the back of their mind because to begin with, you are not important but you can’t digest that, so you try your best to ruin other people’s life, love, psyche or whatever. When you know that the other person did not get to know about it, you cover your innate negativity with something positive to ‘show’ how helpful you are but know that sooner or later, one gets to know the truth, hell, you yourself tell exactly what you are.

Seriously, get that when somebody doesn’t like you because of your past behaviour, you can only add to the negativity one has for you. END OF STORY !! Stop being so sick that you cannot see somebody healing or getting his/her true love. You have ruined all of my relationships because whomsoever I ever trusted, you reached them and used them in knowing about me or controlling me and my mind. Just fucking stop poking your nose and have your own shit together because clearly how much you interfere in others’ lives only means that your own life is disturbed but healthy individuals who really want to help others first sort out their own chaotic life, so that they can provide others with healthy solutions as well, unlike you, who just wants to see others in the same chaos that you are in but still wants to look like the good one, a helper, fucking suffocating somebody to the point where they stop talking to anyone or reaction to social media posts or dealing with people in general. If you don’t know that causing this much distress due to your stalking is a crime in India which actually invites punishment then keep this in mind. And I can’t tell enough how much my brain is burnt out because of your stupid shit and THE PIECE OF SHIT THAT YOU ARE. My this stance is not going to change ever now onwards, because every time I begin to respect you, sooner or later, you show me why I should not have; at most,I thought we could be good friends, nothing else, but I am better away from anybody like you. You are a bloody curse in my life.

Cyclical..

“What the hell is happening here”

Anxiety screams, hair prickles,

“Oh baby.. You don’t need to know”

Sanity reclaims, “relax your knuckles.”

Heart Blocked.

Talking to me won’t help,

Neither you nor me,

I wish you could just feel

Feel the same,

I have stifled my feelings so much

that I no longer know

if I can even feel

or if I am even sane.