Smelling something?

Some people think that I have stopped reacting to shit.

My stance: I know where a piece of shit is. I know it will keep stinking. I know it cannot be made into anything else. Why would I go at that place to attend to it when I know that it’s in the nature of shit to stay filthy and dirty and to stink? Why would I like to sicken myself? I really don’t go there where I know I will end up puking out and sick.

Another thing: There is a saying- Don’t blame a clown for them behaving like a clown. Blame yourself for going to the circus.

Agreed. I completely agree to this. But, there have been numerous instances when one or the other clown entered my room (hypothetically, meaning violated my boundaries) and behaved that way only to annoy or frustrate me out of his/her stupidity/insecurity/envy. What do you think anyone would do in that situation? I would definitely do anything to throw that clown out of my place or if that one still won’t stop, I would slap/beat/kill that one (hypothetically, meaning reacting).

Examples of Manipulation by a Narcissist.

Examples when Narcissistic manipulation can be felt:

-The narc first discards you for loving them too much, and when you move or are trying to move on, they almost beg to enter your life again.

-You do either this or that, the narc has a problem with you both the times. For example, you are ambitious and work on your goals, the narc accuses you of being self-centered and not invested in the narc or the relationship whereas when you have no goals to chase for the time being, the narc considers you ‘not good enough’, ‘lazy’, etc. and triangulates you with other people who are ambitious to look down upon you.

-Narc is envious of you but ‘acts’ like a motivator when you cannot do well in life, but the time you start functioning normal, the narc’s jealousy starts coming to the fore.

-Narc doesn’t want you but also doesn’t want you to want someone else.

-Narc wants you but only till he gets another supply, then the blame of everything going wrong shifts on you, the wrong that actually is being done by the narc or is inherently present in the narc.

-The narc mostly wants you to improve ‘only in words’ and for only that amount of time you are enhancing his social image or self-image. The moment he knows you are doing it for yourself, all hell lets loose and lashing out begins out of the blue.

-Narc is your well-wisher only till the time you are acting or talking against someone or something he hates.

-Narc’s principles are for you, not for him to follow. For example, if you start liking someone else than the narc, you are disloyal and a piece of shit while you both were not committed, but if he starts liking someone else and you both were not committed, it’s his choice and liberty to do anything he wants to do. Another example, if you get angry at him or someone else, you are evil whereas if he gets angry at you or someone else, you or that person deserves it, no other explanation.

-Narc will support you with a hidden agenda. The agenda can be as simple and as complex as boosting one’s (his) ego that he is altruistic, although the support will not be there because you need it, but purely because it’s the narc’s need to feel meaningful in his own eyes, whereas any time you would have actually needed the narc, he would be absent or indifferent to your needs.

-Narc will always abuse you through means which other people cannot recognize and publically will always say that he never abused anyone. Either the narc doesn’t know what abuse actually means or he is just hiding it. Mostly the case is the latter because he is always the innocent and benevolent one in front of the people else than the target of abuse.

-Narc tries to intimidate his target, even though he fails at it, he tries over and over again, and when he knows that the target cannot be intimidated, he tries to be in the good books of the target itself because he wants the strong one to either be weak in front of him or be in his team.

-Narc wants to control someone, either physically, mentally or emotionally. Emotional control over a person is the best feeling for any narc because a narc is devoid of having healthy and rational emotions. Yep. Rational emotions exist. His emotions are most of the times born out of his evil mind and a lack of controlling or regulating his own thoughts and a failure in controlling others’ or his particular target’s emotions.

Universal guidance through dreams..

My dreams not only tell me what’s meant for me, they also tell who n what is being a block.. I don’t talk on n about many things because I am seeking answers from the universe n nobody else.. From symbolic forms to stark clear reality seen 10 minutes to 5-6 months before it actually manifested in real life. From clues to seeing actually what and who is going to create a hindrance in something and in what way, I see it in my dreams so clearly.. The dreams that feel like just a recap of experiences, I can feel that..The dreams that feel like they are going to be true, they really come true.

I am sharing this because today morning as well I saw one such dream and it was about my love. I don’t want to explain it here in details because then it would seem like a personal attack on a real person because what I saw in it was that someone was just trying to snatch him and trying to create misunderstandings between us, that too, by using religion in some way. Like that person trying to act innocent n helpful to him by including GOD’s Name in everything, that too, not to help, but to control him, and to make me fight with him.

I really won’t go into the details or mention names here because that would actually look like a personal attack on someone. But.. everything that I have written is what I actually saw and it was quite shocking to see because nothing like that was going on in my mind yesterday.

I don’t know, probably it was a clue from the universe, but I will let the time decide about its viability.

I would like to end it by saying, “You can stretch an end only like, and only as much as you can, with a chewing gum.

Haters are always unreasonable.

You get on nerves of your haters even if you talk about love. They are energy vampires. They just want to suck the life out of you.
They bullshit on everything you think out loud or do.
They cannot see you being you.
They have no reason for hating you.
They just do.

Extra public that has never been friendly otherwise.

How can you be happy on somebody’s heartbreak??

You think that love is a rat race??

If one is heart-broken from somebody else

You think you have gained that one by default??

Like one has to belong to one or the other

Rather than being for oneself during that halt,

Nobody needs your sympathy or applause,

Please meet a psychiatrist if you cannot understand this simple stance,

Rather than like this falling from grace.

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