A big part of personality development is played by parental control in childhood. It’s basic but many people ignore this. Most of the narcissists (almost all) have had either very loose or too strict parental control or parents completely absent from life in the early childhood.
In India particular, many males turn into bodily grown immature children because they are given too many privileges just because of their gender (i.e. very loose parental control dysfunction). They may be behaving stupid as fuck in their childhood, still they are loved the parents because THEIR SON IS SOMETHING THEY HAVE GOT AFTER SO MANY RELIGIOUS PRACTICES AND PRAYERS THAT HE HAS ATTAINED ALMOST THE KINGLY PLACE IN THEIR LIFE and he can behave any way he wants to. This kind of unreasonable loose control over a child makes him think that it’s okay to behave any way he wants to with whomsoever because his first social school i.e. his family has not taught him properly the meaning of boundaries i.e. what belongs to others and what to himself, how to behave, how to take care of himself, how not to destroy anything belonging to others and how not to be a burden on others physically, emotionally or mentally. I would like to compare here a bit. When I was about 2-3 years old, I was told by my family “you don’t have to touch anything when you go to xyz home or take anything from anyone unless we permit you to, you will not be called a good person if you will do” and other things as such. I am sure a small fraction of families teach boundaries to their male children as well but what about when they grow up or are growing (in their adolescence) ?? They let them be connected with other immature boys which ends into all of them learning things which are not safe to know for their age in a disorganised way (here I am talking about sexuality because sex education is important but how adolescents learn about it from each-other is completely unhealthy, specially in India) and due to lack of much needed parental control in that age, alongwith loose control during their early childhood, they turn into disrespecting adult bodies (adult bodies because they cannot be considered adults for their childish/under-grown mentality). Then they take everything as their own, including girls/women as objects to play with for their mental satisfaction, without any sense of respect towards them as equals (because they have not been taught virtues like equality nor they have been capable of learning it on their own). Some of them grow into really sick individuals who even put the burden of them being cared for on their partner, and the care they demand is not the one of a partners’ dynamic but is of a parent-child dynamic, and whosoever does not adhere to their childlike mental needs and adult-like physical needs is discarded and replaced. This circle keeps on continuing till they get their perfect partner who is ready to be their care-giver, ego-booster and libido-pleaser, all in one- a ready to be repressed woman. Those overly grown children with high ego disrespect females (their partners, exes, crushes, female friends, etc.) and find it funny and still want to be adored and come back to the same females when they feel like they(women/girls) are doing better without them and/or are independent ones. Actually, grown up men also like independent women but they also respect them whereas psychotic-narcissistic ones come back to them over and over again out of compulsion when they see that they could not destroy those women/girls because their ego keeps them in their fantasy of being an irreplaceable god-like figure which was imbibed into their undergrown minds in their childhood by their own families, and this continues till they die, unless they opt for taking professional help to improve upon themselves, which is rare, because such egoistic men/boys never think that anything is wrong with them. They can be inherently stupid, and they would still think that they are funny, jolly and good to be around. They can be quite average mentally and they would still think that they are superior than others and whosoever (mostly females) they find better mentally, they either test her or tease her incessantly to the point of breaking her mentally, so that other people can never call her better than that psychotic-egoistic-narcissistic boy.
I wish that the parents of such boys have had taught such boys good values and boundaries in their childhood and slapped them really hard when they acted incessantly errant over and over again, so that women wouldn’t have felt the need to parent them by either giving them care or slapping them hard on their face in their adulthood !!
This is a paragraph that I have found as a dream interpretation. I don’t know why I see some horrible dreams full of helplessness. I need some more clues or clear interpretation as to what actually they mean.
So, today I saw one such dream, or I say, a nightmare. Dream was quite long but I am writing about only that part that is bothering me the most.. My father and I were in a marketplace and he had an argument with a wholesale merchant about the price of some products, which he denied to buy, started going down a lane in the open in frustration. I was following him. I was a kid. I heard the merchant calling some men for attacking us. My father was walking with a good speed, I was lagging behind. I was trying to speed up as he was not listening to me when I was trying to tell him what I heard. Suddenly, a group of four-five goons came, held him and did beat him so mercilessly. They broke his that arm completely whose elbow was broken in real. He was drenched in blood. He initially tried to fight but all in vain. It all happened within seconds. They kept on beating him, and finally he died. I was at a distance, some people held me and I screamed like never before out of innate helplessness. Then I woke up.
Once in a while, I see such nightmares of immense helplessness in which always a group is attacking, mostly I see myself being attacked by mob, stabbed with knives, or killed in some ruthless ways. Fights, Bloodshed and death by a group or mob is the main theme of most of my nightmares. This time it was related to my father, which increased my intensity manifolds, that too about which I could not do anything. This was the feeling of helplessness like never before.
Is there anyone who can interpret dreams/nightmates and their symbols paychologically or throw some light?
Moving with integrity against a narcissist takes a toil on you, both mentally n physically.
When you are offended, that too without a fault of you or provocation, you feel like beating the shit out of the offender.
You know you have lost a lot, not for your own faults, but because of the same offender’s manipulation tactics.
And nobody can understand your anguish, only you can because you have had to bear the loss. The biggest loss being of your love, that you cannot bear.
And when you speak up about it, that psychopathic bitch(or should I call her a slut now? as she loves that kind of language) would either take the turn next in offending you again or would try her best to be the loving n impressive person, which is actually the fake n temporary behaviour that is a trademark of narcissists, to behave very lovingly, politely and impressively after offending others or doing wrong to others in order to save oneself from the criticism or deserving hatred or other consequences. It actually happens because the narc has put her shit (mental filth) over the other person for the other to suffer mentally from it when the psycho knows that that other person will not take revenge.
The anger stays in the person offended which makes that person to talk negatively incessantly, depresses mentally and makes ill physically and when that happens, the narcissist rises again as the harmonious, loving and kind person to impress others who is a piece of shit from the core.