If my tears ever mattered,
You wouldn’t have let me cry,
If my smile ever mattered,
you would be here,
If my happiness ever mattered,
You wouldn’t have acted ignorant,
If I ever mattered,
You wouldn’t have left.
(Written in 2018 published on 6th sept, 2020)
When your heart shatters into a zillion pieces,
When it still doesn’t make any noise to the outside world,
When you can’t hear your own screams,
When you silently own every single broken piece in your existence’s hold,
Know that there will be someone who will make it easy for you;
Someone will make easy the love for you,
The love you give and their love for you,
Someone will make the life easy for you,
The way you want to live it,
doing the things you love to do,
Someone will make it easy for you to smile,
The real unfiltered blooming out of innate happiness they give to you,
And until you meet that special someone
Cherish everything that you are
Find depth in your hollowed heart
Find solace in your solitude
Find heights increasing in your strength
For living alone this way is truly an art.
(First published on 17th jan, 2021 on my other website http://www.yourchoicestlifestyle.com )
My problem is that I may tell you that I love you and then would like to stay alone but when I would like to be with you I won’t even say a thing.
Some people cannot handle good emotions at first and I am one of them. It’s because they never or barely got to experience love. So, it feels over-whelming when they get to experience it.
Moving with integrity against a narcissist takes a toil on you, both mentally n physically.
When you are offended, that too without a fault of you or provocation, you feel like beating the shit out of the offender.
You know you have lost a lot, not for your own faults, but because of the same offender’s manipulation tactics.
And nobody can understand your anguish, only you can because you have had to bear the loss. The biggest loss being of your love, that you cannot bear.
And when you speak up about it, that psychopath would either take the turn next in offending you again or would try her best to be the loving n impressive person, which is actually the fake n temporary behaviour that is a trademark of narcissists, to behave very lovingly, politely and impressively after offending others or doing wrong to others in order to save oneself from the criticism or deserving hatred or other consequences. It actually happens because the narc has put her shit (mental filth) over the other person for the other to suffer mentally from it when the psycho knows that that other person will not take revenge.
The anger stays in the person offended which makes that person to talk negatively incessantly, depresses mentally and makes ill physically and when that happens, the narcissist rises again as the harmonious, loving and kind person to impress others who is a piece of shit from the core.
“You make me sad like nobody else.”
“It means I am important to you??”😍
“No. It means you need to fuck off.”
I Think For All 