Tactic of Triangulation used by narcissist.

“And now begins the game of Triangulation.”

I was wrong to call a pure narcissist a toxic empath when I can see clearly all the aspects of narcissism in the same person. Triangulation means comparing two people in which the one who is praised is used by the narcissist to demean the other person when that ‘other person’ does not adhere to the stupidity, toxicity and malicious behaviour or demands of the narcissist. This is done to lower the self-confidence of one of two people compared. You will mostly see a narcissist jumping from one person to another, praising highly one person one day and when that same person gets to know about the narcissist’s malice and call out about it or expose that behaviour, then that person is met with the Tactic of Triangulation.

Truth of a nasty mastermind

One can feel like a mastermind,

Trying every whim with every sullen desire,

Inaugurating chaos and sliding through it like a snake,

Escaping every sight but keeping prying eyes on every person around,

Who believes a lot in make,

Trying to be a leader, showing facundity hiding ruthlessness,

A raising voice howsoever slight can he try to always suppress;

The mischief committed,

The people harmed,

The hearts broken,

The minds disturbed,

In his falsity he never did falter,

Trying to look like a saviour,

He proved to be my and many others’ halter.

“Shed your filthy facade damn it”

Even if I shout, cry n show angst,

He will say that I am just throwing a fit;

People like this have many accomplices around,

to which someone mentally weak feels bound;

But here I am and the universe with me,

How much more can he make me lonely?

To a loner who stays with the universe in touch,

That filthy mastermind can’t cause harm much,

No matter how much a sick person keeps it curtailed,

Universe has its own way for the truth to be unfurled.

My kind of love..

Walking on eggshells in the name of somebody’s ‘care’,

Being questioned about your every move here and there,

Where acceptance comes after perfectionism,

Where life is lived after someone’s permission,

Is not love and never my kind of love.

Where him and I enjoy n thrive equally, unitedly as well as separately,

Where even after staying for a long time apart, trust persists in the heart,

Where no one else’s opinions matter, our mutual understanding is better,

Where we feel so free, we become bound in that freedom’s ecstasy,

That’s my love, that’s my kind of love.

WHAT TRANSFORMATION FEELS LIKE??

Do you ever feel like you have totally changed?? Like something died inside of you and something else is being born. You feel so weak for months and then day by day you start realizing that you have grown stronger than ever. You can bear a lot but at the same time you won’t allow anyone to hurt you, deceive you, betray you or make a fool out of you. You still have those good values that believe in humanity, brotherhood, integrity, etc. but you have become so dignified that almost nobody can shake you?? You don’t feel needy anymore. You don’t crave anything anymore. You don’t have care about what bad intentions anyone can have towards you. You just don’t care. You don’t care about who is thinking what about you, who is misunderstanding what about you, who is trying to figure you out, who is trying to mislead you, who is trying to guide you in the right direction, who is leaving you, who is trying to tarnish your image; you simply don’t care about anything. Literally about nothing and nobody. You don’t know where you are going but still in your heart and soul you can feel that you are going somewhere very beautiful; towards a very peaceful, successful and love-filled future. Something that feels very powerful, very transformative. You start crying out of nowhere, your body shakes and shivers out of nothing, you feel empty, you feel all the emotions at the same time, anxiety kicks you so hard, your heart keeps breaking over and over again, you feel mentally disturbed a lot, you feel like nothing is working and then when you really hit the rock bottom and feel like you have lost everything like your life has ended, it has no meaning, you are useless, you don’t know what to do, you have your plans but still you don’t work for them, you start remembering all of your traumas and count all of your failures and remember all the lives you have lost in your life, and then suddenly you go silent, completely silent. That silence guides you. It makes you flow with the universe. It works as a form of surrender. But then you begin to send affirmations to the universe about what you want, how you want it, and exactly at what time you are going to get it. And, it starts happening. You suddenly begin to work on yourself. You don’t even care if you are depressed, happy, angry, sad or whatever, you just don’t care. You become so strong mentally that you begin to think that whatever will happen I will handle it.

You are born to learn a few lessons at different points in your lifetime, thus you may go through all this every single time. The stronger and older your soul, the harder your lessons will be.

How people see an intuitive person and what the reality is.

I am intuitive.” What does it mean when anybody says that they are intuitive? Many people assume that if somebody is intuitive naturally or psychic (though psychic is a different topic), then he/she must be knowing everything that is going on. No ! That’s far from the truth.

Strong intuition does not mean a movie playing in the back of one’s mind. If one says that it happens like this, then it probably is delusion. Strong intuition actually works like a Needle Poking in One’s Gut or A Thunder Hitting One’s Mind, that too very randomly. Most of the times, say 80-90% of the times, that person has no idea what’s going on around him/her, unless he/she is an empath also; because empaths can catch vibes pretty easily.

The moment somebody says that he/she is intuitive, some people (mostly the sensory types from the Myers-briggs personality typology) begin to test that person if he/she can get what they are doing. Here, I want to clear again that an intuitive person really doesn’t know what other people are doing unless those people have that person’s attention all the time or that one is in connection with oneself for a very long period of time or is connected to the universe intensely and deeply.

Those testing people give the intuitive person both good and bad vibes to see his/her reaction but they do not get that one can choose to react or not to react even though that person has got to know about something. Sometimes, when that person chooses not to react, then they give subtle hints by using words’ terminology or gestures that they normally use and about which that person is generally well-acquainted with. They do it for reasons known to themselves only but it has nothing to do with their “connection” with that intuitive person because in reality they make it very obvious for that person to know who is doing what, and which any normal person can acknowledge with some general observational skills. Whereas, some people test that person by hiding their behaviour in the best possible ways they can, which involves using fake accounts, taking help of other people, fake phone calls, to name a few. Reasons for that kind of behaviour can be both-good or/and bad, which depends from person to person. But it happens. And, there is nothing good or playful or funny or helpful in doing that because it wastes a lot of energy and causes hell lot of anxiety, stress and frustration to the intuitive type (saying this from my personal experience). Thus, people should learn how to behave and where to draw the line, even good intentions can end up in bad results.

Thanks.

DEEP FEAR TEACHING ME SOMETHING.

“She will do anything to get you, I will do anything to see you happy” I say this to you in my mind a lot. An old wound inside of me has opened up so badly, I am feeling like being stabbed on it over and over again.

History is repeating itself. Somebody trying to snatch my love by hook or by crook and taking him away from me; me yelling, crying, and even dying. I, once knew mad love for which I tried to finish myself. I can’t even explain the feeling. It’s so intense. Though I can’t say you are mine, still I am more afraid than ever to lose you.

Why is it happening to me, daily I ask myself. What is life trying to teach me? I can’t talk about it to anyone, I really can’t explain and nobody can even understand and I don’t even want anyone to understand anything about me. I just want to know the why. Why the similar things are happening? Why a third person of similar nature has entered who can do almost anything to get you, and my trauma is attacking me from all the sides that that person will make you cut your all the ties with me in the future. It’s not my intuition, it’s actually my traumatic experience making me feel so afraid.

I feel perplexed a lot, still, I keep going with a smile on my face. I know I am a broken soul. But one thing is for sure, I’ll stand my ground no matter what; I’ll protect my self-respect no matter what; and I’ll choose letting go if I have to, no matter how hard it will be for me; and I’ll never try to get you no matter how much pain I’ll have to bear.

If I know my weakness, I know my strength too and this is what, I think, life is trying to teach me, that how I have to put back my pieces together alone, how to love selflessly, how to stay honest to myself, how to overcome my fears and how to heal my past traumas. I can’t show but I know.

Ego versus self-respect.

When you break somebody’s big ego, he/she will do anything in his/her capability to strengthen it again. No stone will be left unturned. Every fiber of that person’s being will call him/her to retaliate with anything and everything possible. Physical qualities, mental capabilities, charm, social influence, even misery will be displayed. This is the power and reaction of a fragile ego.

But it does not know the strength of self-respect. Self-respect does not compete and one cannot lose what one doesn’t compete for. Self-respect does not break, it is such a little part of one’s personality yet so strong like a diamond that it cannot be broken. Self-respect does not do anything to bring itself back to normal, it doesn’t actually need to because it’s unshakeable, calm and compost. And last but not the least, self-respect is so strong that it can break the biggest and strongest of ego.