Lock me up with the door open-Lockdown 5.0 in India.

Strategies of lockdown 1 and 5 could be better but nope! We are disorganised as always.

Why don’t they just make it very simple that testing is compulsory and those who have got tested for covid-19 can move around freely?

Should have begun testing with the most crucial industrial and agricultural sector workers (testing done by government recommended) alongwith that of private companies involved in supply of goods and transportation, right during the initiation of lockdown one. Then the employees in administrative branches so that offices could be opened up by lockdown 2 or 3. And finally the educational institutes could be opened up after compulsory testing of all the teaching staff and students right from day one of the new session, maybe alongwith testing of their parents.

Malls, cinema halls could still wait to be opened up. What was more required was a workable goods delivery system rather than letting people roam around at such sites freely.

And what was the need to open up worship places?? Does that money goes to government in any way or praying together in the very close proximity is going to stop the spread of virus?? This may happen to be the biggest downfall in their strategy.

But okay.. Good organisation is not this government’s forte, trend shown time and again.

Self-evaluate your reactions.

If anybody got offended by my last post, it only means that either they were finding pleasure and validation in my pain, which by any means is toxic, or they are over-analysing what I write. In both the cases, they need to find their mental balance and stop being overly reactionary.

The above-mentioned post.

PS- I am not giving any explanation about my behaviour here as I do not owe it to anyone for what I write. I am just trying to reflect on people’s reactivity so that they can heal on their own by self-evaluation.

Tactic of Triangulation used by narcissist.

“And now begins the game of Triangulation.”

I was wrong to call a pure narcissist a toxic empath when I can see clearly all the aspects of narcissism in the same person. Triangulation means comparing two people in which the one who is praised is used by the narcissist to demean the other person when that ‘other person’ does not adhere to the stupidity, toxicity and malicious behaviour or demands of the narcissist. This is done to lower the self-confidence of one of two people compared. You will mostly see a narcissist jumping from one person to another, praising highly one person one day and when that same person gets to know about the narcissist’s malice and call out about it or expose that behaviour, then that person is met with the Tactic of Triangulation.

CONTROL YOUR DESIRES THAT LEAD TO ANIMAL CRUELTY.

Imagine somebody takes you out of your home, murders you, takes out your skin, cuts your body into tiny pieces and then fries you.

That’s what happens to animals when you eat non-vegetarian food.

It’s still okay if the animal has died naturally and you are using its body. But killing animals particularly for your taste buds is more inhumane that you can imagine. Similar is about using animal products. Just imagine somebody killing you only for your skin or teeth or bones.

Animals are not as intelligent as humans but humans really take advantage of their only exceptional virtue, otherwise we are quite similar.

If you cannot stop using animal products altogether, at least, reduce their intake to their good extent so that the their demand reduces in market and thus the need for its supply. Otherwise, animal cruelty has reached heights (you need to watch a few videos about how they live peacefully just before their killing and are shredded to pieces mercilessly thereafter).

WHAT STILLNESS OF MIND IS..

Neither hopeful about something nor hopeless, you just have to make peace with what is. Situations might and will change in the future but you cannot take the present for granted. What exists now is real, everything else is your thought. Once you commit to improve your present, be positive, love yourself, love your life the way it is, everything good begins to get attracted to you. But it does not mean that only desirable events will happen, even negative and bad experiences will add to your life. Being positive does not mean that you can have or attract nothing negative in life once you choose to be positive, it just means that whatever will happen you will accept and handle it. You don’t feel lost when you live in reality. You know anything and everything takes efforts and yet the results are neither guaranteed nor parmanent, you can just have a plan in your mind and work towards it. Yin and yang is the law of nature, i.e. two contradicting forces always co-exist, thus any situation has both the sides to it, it all depends on your psyche how you see it particularly and that’s where your mindset comes into play. Moreover, there is always an invisible side to everything, that’s the force that keeps every kind of energy moving; although you may take something as positive or negative but that kinetic force is the one that keeps on changing the dynamics between any two sides of anything, be it separating those forces or uniting them. Your mind is definitely the most powerful thing and can control that dynamic or prove to be that third force but sometimes you really have to bring that energy to stillness, and stop thinking about it too much because if you won’t stop trying to control your future, then your future will begin to control your mind in the present. So, try to observe stillness of mind. It helps a lot in chaos. Stillness of mind does not mean making it numb, being unable to think through things straight, it actually means thinking straight about what is, and not about what can be and what should be. Some people specifically meditate for it, but according to me, it’s all about your level of understanding and perception. It also enhances your level of self-control and vice-versa.

My kind of love..

Walking on eggshells in the name of somebody’s ‘care’,

Being questioned about your every move here and there,

Where acceptance comes after perfectionism,

Where life is lived after someone’s permission,

Is not love and never my kind of love.

Where him and I enjoy n thrive equally, unitedly as well as separately,

Where even after staying for a long time apart, trust persists in the heart,

Where no one else’s opinions matter, our mutual understanding is better,

Where we feel so free, we become bound in that freedom’s ecstasy,

That’s my love, that’s my kind of love.

WHY SOME PEOPLE ARE CONTROLLING?

CONTROL ISSUES.. Something most of the people don’t understand in the real sense. You may think that somebody is trying to control you, physically or psychologically, but in reality the people trying to have a control over others have no control over their own life.

Always observe who is trying to control his/her own behaviour and who is trying to control that of others. Reasons can range from very innocent to malignant in the mind of that person(s) and it is highly likely that they don’t have any idea why they have such issues. Most probably they feel lost in their own world and feel like everything is falling apart, so they try to settle everything and everyone around them, apart from their own self. It might also become a kind of addiction of being ‘a helper’ because subconsciously they need to divert their mind from their own world, family, friends, love, career etc. There is indeed something really misplaced in their life, that’s why they think that they are doing the right thing by fixing others. People with least self-control or least control over their own life have a tendency to control others and situations related to others the most.

I am saying this out of my own experience and as an observer. I had this kind of addiction for a few years which ended about 4-5 years ago. And now I have observed the same in a few people.

So, what you can do when you observe ‘a fixer’ in your life??

1. ASK THEM QUESTIONS-Ask them if they themselves are okay? We project our inner world on the outside world and if somebody is finding a problem in us, it most probably is a problem they could not find out in themselves. Eg. (A) “I think you are in pain.” “No, I am not.” Here the first one himself/herself might be in psychological pain. (B) “Nobody understands you.” “I don’t even care.” Here, the first one feels like nobody understands them. Ask them questions or reply very subtly but directly and in a non-attacking form. Only ‘are you okay?’ can be sufficient sometimes but not always. Others can be “I am finding this in you actually. Is it true?” But do it (ask) only if you have ample time to listen to the answers because insufficient attention or interest taken may make them feel like either you are doing them a favour or are just trying to use them to pass your time.

2. CHOOSE UNDERSTANDING– If they are unwilling to tell you anything, then understand that they either don’t trust you with their delicate information or they simply don’t want to touch upon a subject. Do not push things further even in the other direction like trying to act like everything is fine on their side just because they have not told you anything. Here, just saying “I am all ears to listen to your story if you want to tell anything anytime” can also work pretty fine but say “anytime” only if you can be available to them like that, otherwise describe a specific time like “I am free at ____am/pm, just in case you want to talk” or anything like that will work.

3. READ THE CUES BUT DON’T OVERLY ANALYZE THEM- You might be surprised to know that sometimes we begin to over-analyze everything way too much. The one who seems to be controlling us or a situation in our life is actually trying to learn what would work for him/her in such a situation. The solution finders are learners and vice-versa. But if they seem to interfere a lot directly or indirectly, you can straight up tell them about it, but do it politely. Mostly we become so afraid of being controlled that we tend to be over-critical of others who even try to help us because we think that we don’t need help and end up controlling them rather. That’s why you need to be aware of the ones trying to control others, it might be possible that they themselves are afraid of being controlled. The helper needs help. But remember that primarily you have to take their words at their face value because you cannot press upon them to reveal anything. Respect privacy.

I could not think of other measures at the moment. Suggestions will be most welcome. THANKS. 🙂