Why don’t I only observe where the other person goes and just go with the flow??
1. I do observe. I have observed a lot more than anyone can imagine and by the time other people think that I need to start observing, I have already observed enough and even concluded what’s happening and what would happen. I am not only intuitive psychically, I observe patterns much better than that.
2. If I will only keep on observing, then I will give my power to the other person to take the decision for me.
3. When I have concluded something based on observation and intuition and I am still not taking action based on that, both of them will prove to be futile; and I will always take the right action based on my principles, not based on what other people try to show me on surface level. I am almost immune to manipulation of any kind.
4. I want to save the other person and myself from wasting time and energy and just want to come to the point and set things straight for the future. I am mostly future oriented.
5. I don’t like to go with the flow. Only dead fish go with the flow. And I think that the universe has created me like this for a reason, and the reason can be to create the flow for myself and others. If everyone will be indecisive and keep on thinking about going with the flow, then even the universe will lose its mind (😂) that nobody does anything on their own. If I can do something, why would I put it in other people’s hands?
Strategies of lockdown 1 and 5 could be better but nope! We are disorganised as always.
Why don’t they just make it very simple that testing is compulsory and those who have got tested for covid-19 can move around freely?
Should have begun testing with the most crucial industrial and agricultural sector parts (testing done by government recommended) alongwith that of private companies involved in supply of goods and transportation, right during the initiation of lockdown one. Then the employees in administrative branches could be tested so that offices could be opened up by lockdown 2 or 3. And finally the educational institutes could be opened up after compulsory testing of all the teaching staff and students right from day one of the new session, maybe alongwith testing of their parents.
Malls, cinema halls could still wait to be opened up. What was more required was a workable goods delivery system rather than letting people roam around such sites freely.
And what was the need to open up worship places?? Does that money go to government in any way or praying together in the very close proximity is going to stop the spread of virus?? This may happen to be the biggest downfall in their strategy.
But okay.. Good organisation or management is not this government’s forte, trend shown time and again.
AND ON THE TOP OF IT, if you complain or expose them, they say that you have been playing the victim and are the toxic one because you have created a scene and have been talking shit.
Here, you are not ‘playing the victim‘, YOU ARE THE REAL VICTIM which a NARCISSIST WOULD NEVER ADMIT TO.
The SHIT you are talking about is actually THE SHIT THE NARCISSIST IS AND THE SHIT THE NARCISSIST DID TO YOU.
The TOXIC ONE is the NARCISSIST who did that toxic shit to you sneakily and you just talked about the TOXICITY. Talking about toxicity does not make anyone toxic.
Last but not the least, when you bring out about the toxicity of a narcissist to others, you are bound to be called the toxic one and the victim player and the negative, crazy one. But remember this thing, a narcissist will always be the last one to look crazy. It’s always the victim who looks crazy but actually it’s the narcissist who is doing everything crazy behind the scene. AND when you look crazy to everyone, the narcissist will behave like the victim telling everyone that you have always been toxic because now he knows that everyone has seen your crazy side and nobody has seen his toxic side, and thus it’s very easy for him to actually play the victim.
ILLUSTRATION: think about a criminal who did hurt or committed grievous hurt to someone and started calling the victim a criminal who is playing the victim just because the victim complained about the criminal and is angry and crying and exposing him in front of everyone.
Now, take that criminal in the civil settings and the hurt or grievous hurt as the psychological one. YES ! NARCISSISTS ARE PSYCHOLOGICAL CRIMINALS SOME OF WHOM ACTUALLY ARE ALSO THE REAL CRIMINALS WHO HAVEN’T GOTTEN CAUGHT YET.
When I wanted to get clicked wearing this set of clothes, I could see a huge disappointment and panic on my bua (paternal aunt’s) face. I guided her how to to click this picture (the exact place where she had to keep the mobile in hand) and just tap on the button. She was hugely annoyed to even look at me, spare clicking the picture. I asked her “what happened” although I was known to the answer already. She said “from where have you learnt wearing these clothes and clicking these pictures??” to which I replied that these days many people wear them. There’s nothing wrong in them. They are casual clothes. She went a step further and said, “nobody cultured wear this. Only sex workers/sluts wear this, that too, not from India, negros wear this.”
If I was dealing with her 3-4 years ago and listened to these words, I would have left the house (saying this very seriously as I had tried once in 4 years ago), but now, having her as a responsibility to me, I cannot do that or even think about that. Instead, I said, “You are very backward, biased and narrow-minded. Look around you, and see how much the world has progressed from this backward mentality” and then carried on with sharing the picture on instagram. After that, she was like “you are ruining your dead father’s name. You do this kind of stuff. (Mare hoye peu da naam khraab kri ja ese kamm kar kar ke)” I think this was quite a big another trigger for me usually, but I am glad that I still kept my cool and told her “nothing like that happens. You are over-reacting for no reason and anyways, he’d tell me in my dream if he’d be disappointed. And I am an adult, you have no right to question what I wear and what I share anywhere.” Seriously, she was still looking at me like I did some crime, although she had been saying utter bullshit all the while. She went onto saying “I never prohibited you from wearing anything or meeting anyone.” Well, that was quite a LIE. She always panics whenever I go onto meeting any person. She even used to panic when I met a female friend, meeting a male friend or going on a date was like making her understand the whole idea of the meeting, details in advance and repeatedly telling her “it’s just a meeting. You must be thinking I am going to have sex.” because it was always about my father’s reputation according to her; and honestly, it was never that she let me wear anything I wanted, it was always a hell lot of drama from her side about my clothes (uptil my good age of 24 years she even had a problem with me using any kind of make-up). Soooo, again, I kept my cool and told her “see, you just made a big issue out of my clothes right now and you never let me meet anyone peacefully ever, you always did fight about that. Just accept that you are socially backward, not cultured or traditional and stop thinking that I won’t do what I want to do.”
The point: Sometimes what you see is not true. The one who seems rude has become so when that person had no other option left and the one who seems to be very protective and caring is just an immature energy vampire who sucks on the mind and energy of that ‘rude one’ without any limit making that person to react really rude or cruel as a result. Some people, be it a family member or a friend or an outsider break one’s boundaries way too much just because that person made them comfortable in doing so, by not standing up for one’s own rights. I did that a lot in my childhood, adolescense and adulthood as well. I always thought about the comfort of my family, their wishes about how I should have lived, just so that they could not have any mental or emotional issue because of me. BUT I realised over time that I made them way too comfortable in interfering in my life. Initially, I used to get triggered badly by such comments from them, but I am glad that I learnt handling the situation, calmly, over time.
Honestly, I am feeling guilty sharing this because it feels like I am bringing my family’s issues here on a platform where people do not need to know about it but on the other hand, I think and feel that it is crucial to share such incidents. I used to be held back, depressed and not myself for years because of such nagging, controlling and biased behaviour of my own family members, and never shared a thought with anyone faking it that everything was perfect whatever was happening and how-so-ever I was being treated.
It does not mean that they don’t love me. They can even die for me if the need arises, to save me, but, the main problem is that they never let me live either. I never feel mentally, emotionally and socially content and safe. I have become really tough and walled because of strong boundaries, but I really feel that just in case, they had gotten some counselling from an outsider professional, they might have had a better mindset and behaviour, that could as a result let them and me live freely without any fight on very menial and personal stuff like make-up, clothing, and being social.
Neither hopeful about something nor hopeless, you just have to make peace with what is. Situations might and will change in the future but you cannot take the present for granted. What exists now is real, everything else is your thought. Once you commit to improve your present, be positive, love yourself, love your life the way it is, everything good begins to get attracted to you. But it does not mean that only desirable events will happen, even negative and bad experiences will add to your life. Being positive does not mean that you can have or attract nothing negative in life once you choose to be positive, it just means that whatever will happen you will accept and handle it. You don’t feel lost when you live in reality. You know anything and everything takes efforts and yet the results are neither guaranteed nor parmanent, you can just have a plan in your mind and work towards it. Yin and yang is the law of nature, i.e. two contradicting forces always co-exist, thus any situation has both the sides to it, it all depends on your psyche how you see it particularly and that’s where your mindset comes into play. Moreover, there is always an invisible side to everything, that’s the force that keeps every kind of energy moving; although you may take something as positive or negative but that kinetic force is the one that keeps on changing the dynamics between any two sides of anything, be it separating those forces or uniting them. Your mind is definitely the most powerful thing and can control that dynamic or prove to be that third force but sometimes you really have to bring that energy to stillness, and stop thinking about it too much because if you won’t stop trying to control your future, then your future will begin to control your mind in the present. So, try to observe stillness of mind. It helps a lot in chaos. Stillness of mind does not mean making it numb, being unable to think through things straight, it actually means thinking straight about what is, and not about what can be and what should be. Some people specifically meditate for it, but according to me, it’s all about your level of understanding and perception. It also enhances your level of self-control and vice-versa.
It’s not good that you try to change other’s permanent decisions based on your own temporary feelings and emotions that keep on fluctuating; If you are doing this, you are just trying to control someone just because you lack in self-control.