If you ever get angry/aggressive because you could not break my Boundaries, do one thing- Smack your head to the wall with as much force as you have..
You will get the same feeling and same end result in both the cases.
Tag: boundaries
Law of attraction in summation.
You attract your own energy, nothing from the outside. If you do not know your worth, you attract people who consider you worthless. If you do not want something to work for you, you won’t get it. If you have some traits in your subconscious mind for a partner, every other kind of person will be repelled/removed from your life sooner or later. If you want to change yourself, you have to visualize that change in you. If you want to become something, you have to believe it in your whole being. That’s all law of attraction is. You attract your energy, your thoughts, your vibes, your aura to you.
Now, a few of you may think “I am a healer. Usually toxic people get attracted to me. I don’t think this is how law of attraction works. I never wanted that.”
My answer is your innate nature is that of a healer and toxic people need spiritual healing and your mind subconsciously desires somebody to heal, so, toxic people get attracted to you unknowingly. But you can save yourself by creating boundaries n by directing your energy to be more specific to heal yourself first or the innocent victims of toxic abusers or nobody at all particularly and by only teaching people how to heal themselves.
(8th jan, 2021)
Loud is mostly a reaction, real abuse and provocation is mostly secret, silent, and in the cues..
IMPORTANT MESSAGE TO ALL.
I am very glad when someone can relate to what I write, but, let me explain you one important thing about me. I am a dope person for sure, who can ignore many things and vibes and go on with my life in a chill way. BUT..I am also a deeply empathetic person who has the tendency to soak vibes like a sponge. Thus, if you can relate to what I write, that’s great, but kindly do not make comments like our situation is the same. I get that you may be in a worse or better place emotionally, but if you are in an emotional turmoil, then do not comment like we are in the same state, because I Am Not. When you comment like that, then sometimes, I automatically soak your low vibes, and myself start feeling low out of nowhere like there is something wrong in my own life. After that, I start acting like something wrong is going on, and then others also think, or say, can catch my vibe, that I am having low vibes. It’s exhausting and draining to say the least. I really don’t deserve to feel low for no reason. You can share with me how YOUR SITUATION is relatable to what I write, but, please do not use words like “WE ARE LIKE THAT” “WE THIS” “WE THAT”.. NO “WE ARE NOT THE SAME AND WE ARE NOT IN THE SAME SITUATION.”
AND dare you say that I am being rude via this message. I am not. It’s just a boundary that you have to respect to stay connected.
THANK YOU IN ADVANCE.. 🙏
Quote-Vibes matter the most.
I am naturally high-vibing. It’s quite obvious to me who lowers that down at what time. I am being more and more cautious about that now.
(Original date: 31st March,2021)
Advice coming through experience.
Do you ever look at somebody and feel really sorry for them because they cannot see other people in a good place or creating a good space away from them?? Everything you do becomes a competition. There is nothing like love in them. There is always a selfish agenda or trial to fill their own cup even at the expense of other’s emptiness and no matter how much you try to run away, they run behind you to suck at your mind, energy and soul, because they don’t have good enough of it on their own. You want to connect with good ones. You know you are a cooperative person who loves, cherishes and appreciates the good ones. You want to engage in both deep and light hearted conversations, giggles, laughter, good energy, beauty and romance. You love with your heart and soul who is meant to be loved that way. You want to give somebody everything you are and everything you have. You don’t let your ego play much role in that. There is no competition, only cooperation and kindness that can lead to a beautiful life. And, then comes the first one being envious of you and everything good in your life, wanting to gain something out of it, being extremely jealous from a distance, trying to get everything from you, your social image, love, respectfulness, integrity n dignity because that person is devoid of these virtues from a long long time. They just cannot see you happy on your own or with someone else. Take the advice here: You can be as rude as fuck to such creeps. If you do so, there is nothing wrong with you; you just want to cut a leech off your life who has been trying to suck everything good from your life. You owe nothing to such creeps just to prove that you are a good person. You may have a very good and loving personality and still can tell others to get lost or fuck off from your life; and as a result, don’t expect that many will consider your good qualities after that. Psychotic one is always blind to other’s goodness, they just want either you in their team or want to compete with you even if you do not compete at all and you want to maintain good distance, such a miserable one that is.
Respect everybody but you can disrespect those who earn it.
(First published on 4th Aug, 2021)
Basic for good mental health. 💐
“Those who stay in their lane,
Stay sane.”
It’s that simple.
(First published 21st july, 2020)
An important part of my behaviour..
I tell you one thing about kindness and why I cannot forgive Intentional Faults in behaviour. Mistake done once is okay to me, I do not even pay much heed to it and ignore it like nothing happened, but, if the same thing is done twice, then it’s a choice, and when you have made a choice to be a defaulter/culprit, you cannot be forgiven because your intention is to commit that act which offends my boundaries- psychological, social or physical.
In law, the culprit deserves and is punished after the conviction is proved. Apologies become meaningless after that because the damage has been done to the victim and the situation cannot be reverted back to its original position. Motives do not matter in convictions, the act done and the intention to do that act are enough to prove the commitment of the crime.
Anyone may say that they did something wrong to me because of this/that. Here, I rarely consider the WHYs because the first time, I can go into the ‘why’ of something done to me because I really want to understand the psychological reason behind it, but the second time the ‘why’ becomes useless and the apologies become meaningless, and thus, forgiving becomes almost impossible, as the second time it is someone’s choice to offend me and/or my boundaries.
I am describing this because many people don’t get it why I am so unforgiving. I apply law, science, and psychology in every single thing. People usually don’t get where I come from.
Also, if I am kind, it does not mean that I am and I have allowed anyone to be informal in interactions with me. Kindness and informal behaviour are completely two different things. I am usually kind and formal. Being informal with anyone takes me a lot of time and interactions. This is how I am since my very childhood. You can stay assured that I have been informal with, at most, about 5-6 people (apart from my family members) in my entire life. Kindly respect that as it’s one of my boundaries i.e. not being informal with anyone without a conscious decision on the part of both the parties i.e. me and the other person.
These two virtues are very core of my personality that others usually find confusing and difficult to understand or deal with, and I hope that many things are clear now.
Thank you for reading. ❤
Lock me up with the door open-Lockdown 5.0 in India.
Strategies of lockdown 1 and 5 could be better but nope! We are disorganised as always.
Why don’t they just make it very simple that testing is compulsory and those who have got tested for covid-19 can move around freely?
Should have begun testing with the most crucial industrial and agricultural sector parts (testing done by government recommended) alongwith that of private companies involved in supply of goods and transportation, right during the initiation of lockdown one. Then the employees in administrative branches could be tested so that offices could be opened up by lockdown 2 or 3. And finally the educational institutes could be opened up after compulsory testing of all the teaching staff and students right from day one of the new session, maybe alongwith testing of their parents.
Malls, cinema halls could still wait to be opened up. What was more required was a workable goods delivery system rather than letting people roam around such sites freely.
And what was the need to open up worship places?? Does that money go to government in any way or praying together in the very close proximity is going to stop the spread of virus?? This may happen to be the biggest downfall in their strategy.
But okay.. Good organisation or management is not this government’s forte, trend shown time and again.
(Originally posted on 31st may,2020)
THINK ABOUT IT.
WHERE ARE THE BOUNDARIES??
When I wanted to get clicked wearing this set of clothes, I could see a huge disappointment and panic on my bua (paternal aunt’s) face. I guided her how to to click this picture (the exact place where she had to keep the mobile in hand) and just tap on the button. She was hugely annoyed to even look at me, spare clicking the picture. I asked her “what happened” although I was known to the answer already. She said “from where have you learnt wearing these clothes and clicking these pictures??” to which I replied that these days many people wear them. There’s nothing wrong in them. They are casual clothes. She went a step further and said, “nobody cultured wear this. Only sex workers/sluts wear this, that too, not from India, negros wear this.”
If I was dealing with her 3-4 years ago and listened to these words, I would have left the house (saying this very seriously as I had tried once in 4 years ago), but now, having her as a responsibility to me, I cannot do that or even think about that. Instead, I said, “You are very backward, biased and narrow-minded. Look around you, and see how much the world has progressed from this backward mentality” and then carried on with sharing the picture on instagram. After that, she was like “you are ruining your dead father’s name. You do this kind of stuff. (Mare hoye peu da naam khraab kri ja ese kamm kar kar ke)” I think this was quite a big another trigger for me usually, but I am glad that I still kept my cool and told her “nothing like that happens. You are over-reacting for no reason and anyways, he’d tell me in my dream if he’d be disappointed. And I am an adult, you have no right to question what I wear and what I share anywhere.” Seriously, she was still looking at me like I did some crime, although she had been saying utter bullshit all the while. She went onto saying “I never prohibited you from wearing anything or meeting anyone.” Well, that was quite a LIE. She always panics whenever I go onto meeting any person. She even used to panic when I met a female friend, meeting a male friend or going on a date was like making her understand the whole idea of the meeting, details in advance and repeatedly telling her “it’s just a meeting. You must be thinking I am going to have sex.” because it was always about my father’s reputation according to her; and honestly, it was never that she let me wear anything I wanted, it was always a hell lot of drama from her side about my clothes (uptil my good age of 24 years she even had a problem with me using any kind of make-up). Soooo, again, I kept my cool and told her “see, you just made a big issue out of my clothes right now and you never let me meet anyone peacefully ever, you always did fight about that. Just accept that you are socially backward, not cultured or traditional and stop thinking that I won’t do what I want to do.”
The point: Sometimes what you see is not true. The one who seems rude has become so when that person had no other option left and the one who seems to be very protective and caring is just an immature energy vampire who sucks on the mind and energy of that ‘rude one’ without any limit making that person to react really rude or cruel as a result. Some people, be it a family member or a friend or an outsider break one’s boundaries way too much just because that person made them comfortable in doing so, by not standing up for one’s own rights. I did that a lot in my childhood, adolescense and adulthood as well. I always thought about the comfort of my family, their wishes about how I should have lived, just so that they could not have any mental or emotional issue because of me. BUT I realised over time that I made them way too comfortable in interfering in my life. Initially, I used to get triggered badly by such comments from them, but I am glad that I learnt handling the situation, calmly, over time.
Honestly, I am feeling guilty sharing this because it feels like I am bringing my family’s issues here on a platform where people do not need to know about it but on the other hand, I think and feel that it is crucial to share such incidents. I used to be held back, depressed and not myself for years because of such nagging, controlling and biased behaviour of my own family members, and never shared a thought with anyone faking it that everything was perfect whatever was happening and how-so-ever I was being treated.
It does not mean that they don’t love me. They can even die for me if the need arises, to save me, but, the main problem is that they never let me live either. I never feel mentally, emotionally and socially content and safe. I have become really tough and walled because of strong boundaries, but I really feel that just in case, they had gotten some counselling from an outsider professional, they might have had a better mindset and behaviour, that could as a result let them and me live freely without any fight on very menial and personal stuff like make-up, clothing, and being social.
I Think For All 