Quote-Vibes matter the most.

I am naturally high-vibing. It’s quite obvious to me who lowers that down at what time. I am being more and more cautious about that now.

(Original date: 31st March,2021)

An important part of my behaviour..

I tell you one thing about kindness and why I cannot forgive Intentional Faults in behaviour. Mistake done once is okay to me, I do not even pay much heed to it and ignore it like nothing happened, but, if the same thing is done twice, then it’s a choice, and when you have made a choice to be a defaulter/culprit, you cannot be forgiven because your intention is to commit that act which offends my boundaries- psychological, social or physical.

In law, the culprit deserves and is punished after the conviction is proved. Apologies become meaningless after that because the damage has been done to the victim and the situation cannot be reverted back to its original position. Motives do not matter in convictions, the act done and the intention to do that act are enough to prove the commitment of the crime.

Anyone may say that they did something wrong to me because of this/that. Here, I rarely consider the WHYs because the first time, I can go into the ‘why’ of something done to me because I really want to understand the psychological reason behind it, but the second time the ‘why’ becomes useless and the apologies become meaningless, and thus, forgiving becomes almost impossible, as the second time it is someone’s choice to offend me and/or my boundaries.

I am describing this because many people don’t get it why I am so unforgiving. I apply law, science, and psychology in every single thing. People usually don’t get where I come from.

Also, if I am kind, it does not mean that I am and I have allowed anyone to be informal in interactions with me. Kindness and informal behaviour are completely two different things. I am usually kind and formal. Being informal with anyone takes me a lot of time and interactions. This is how I am since my very childhood. You can stay assured that I have been informal with, at most, about 5-6 people (apart from my family members) in my entire life. Kindly respect that as it’s one of my boundaries i.e. not being informal with anyone without a conscious decision on the part of both the parties i.e. me and the other person.

These two virtues are very core of my personality that others usually find confusing and difficult to understand or deal with, and I hope that many things are clear now.

Thank you for reading. ❤

Loud is mostly a reaction, real abuse and provocation is mostly secret, silent, and in the cues..

Lock me up with the door open-Lockdown 5.0 in India.

Strategies of lockdown 1 and 5 could be better but nope! We are disorganised as always.

Why don’t they just make it very simple that testing is compulsory and those who have got tested for covid-19 can move around freely?

Should have begun testing with the most crucial industrial and agricultural sector parts (testing done by government recommended) alongwith that of private companies involved in supply of goods and transportation, right during the initiation of lockdown one. Then the employees in administrative branches could be tested so that offices could be opened up by lockdown 2 or 3. And finally the educational institutes could be opened up after compulsory testing of all the teaching staff and students right from day one of the new session, maybe alongwith testing of their parents.

Malls, cinema halls could still wait to be opened up. What was more required was a workable goods delivery system rather than letting people roam around such sites freely.

And what was the need to open up worship places?? Does that money go to government in any way or praying together in the very close proximity is going to stop the spread of virus?? This may happen to be the biggest downfall in their strategy.

But okay.. Good organisation or management is not this government’s forte, trend shown time and again.

(Originally posted on 31st may,2020)

THINK ABOUT IT.

WHERE ARE THE BOUNDARIES??

COPYRIGHTS RESERVED BY PREET

When I wanted to get clicked wearing this set of clothes, I could see a huge disappointment and panic on my bua (paternal aunt’s) face. I guided her how to to click this picture (the exact place where she had to keep the mobile in hand) and just tap on the button. She was hugely annoyed to even look at me, spare clicking the picture. I asked her “what happened” although I was known to the answer already. She said “from where have you learnt wearing these clothes and clicking these pictures??” to which I replied that these days many people wear them. There’s nothing wrong in them. They are casual clothes. She went a step further and said, “nobody cultured wear this. Only sex workers/sluts wear this, that too, not from India, negros wear this.”

If I was dealing with her 3-4 years ago and listened to these words, I would have left the house (saying this very seriously as I had tried once in 4 years ago), but now, having her as a responsibility to me, I cannot do that or even think about that. Instead, I said, “You are very backward, biased and narrow-minded. Look around you, and see how much the world has progressed from this backward mentality” and then carried on with sharing the picture on instagram. After that, she was like “you are ruining your dead father’s name. You do this kind of stuff. (Mare hoye peu da naam khraab kri ja ese kamm kar kar ke)” I think this was quite a big another trigger for me usually, but I am glad that I still kept my cool and told her “nothing like that happens. You are over-reacting for no reason and anyways, he’d tell me in my dream if he’d be disappointed. And I am an adult, you have no right to question what I wear and what I share anywhere.” Seriously, she was still looking at me like I did some crime, although she had been saying utter bullshit all the while. She went onto saying “I never prohibited you from wearing anything or meeting anyone.” Well, that was quite a LIE. She always panics whenever I go onto meeting any person. She even used to panic when I met a female friend, meeting a male friend or going on a date was like making her understand the whole idea of the meeting, details in advance and repeatedly telling her “it’s just a meeting. You must be thinking I am going to have sex.” because it was always about my father’s reputation according to her; and honestly, it was never that she let me wear anything I wanted, it was always a hell lot of drama from her side about my clothes (uptil my good age of 24 years she even had a problem with me using any kind of make-up). Soooo, again, I kept my cool and told her “see, you just made a big issue out of my clothes right now and you never let me meet anyone peacefully ever, you always did fight about that. Just accept that you are socially backward, not cultured or traditional and stop thinking that I won’t do what I want to do.”

The point: Sometimes what you see is not true. The one who seems rude has become so when that person had no other option left and the one who seems to be very protective and caring is just an immature energy vampire who sucks on the mind and energy of that ‘rude one’ without any limit making that person to react really rude or cruel as a result. Some people, be it a family member or a friend or an outsider break one’s boundaries way too much just because that person made them comfortable in doing so, by not standing up for one’s own rights. I did that a lot in my childhood, adolescense and adulthood as well. I always thought about the comfort of my family, their wishes about how I should have lived, just so that they could not have any mental or emotional issue because of me. BUT I realised over time that I made them way too comfortable in interfering in my life. Initially, I used to get triggered badly by such comments from them, but I am glad that I learnt handling the situation, calmly, over time.

Honestly, I am feeling guilty sharing this because it feels like I am bringing my family’s issues here on a platform where people do not need to know about it but on the other hand, I think and feel that it is crucial to share such incidents. I used to be held back, depressed and not myself for years because of such nagging, controlling and biased behaviour of my own family members, and never shared a thought with anyone faking it that everything was perfect whatever was happening and how-so-ever I was being treated.

It does not mean that they don’t love me. They can even die for me if the need arises, to save me, but, the main problem is that they never let me live either. I never feel mentally, emotionally and socially content and safe. I have become really tough and walled because of strong boundaries, but I really feel that just in case, they had gotten some counselling from an outsider professional, they might have had a better mindset and behaviour, that could as a result let them and me live freely without any fight on very menial and personal stuff like make-up, clothing, and being social.

REMINDERS FOR 2021 FOR AT LEAST THE WHOLE DECADE.

I keep repeating many things over and over again and it doesn’t seem to go in the mind of a few people. This is the last time I am confirming anything.

If we ever fell off as friends AND I am not following you on any social media, It’s a 100% guarantee that it’s over. This is for those who never became more than a friend, but became quite lesser than that with time.

If I love someone and he is interested in me too now AND he knows about my side but keeping silence about his side. I am not guaranteeing anything for the future.

I am in no way interested in detecting anyone’s vibes, specially outsiders, whom I have never considered even a friend. It will be good if a known one would talk to me directly rather than through old stupid ways using other people’s accounts. Or don’t take me as the rude one for my response.

Remember, if you try to play me in any single sense, Karma is always there. Don’t repeat patterns. That shit is way too dumb for me now, and as I said earlier, I am not bearing DUMBSHIT this year.

Last but not the least, I AM NOT INTERESTED IN ANYONE’S DRAMA. SOME PEOPLE ARE TOO MEANINGLESS AND USELESS FOR EVEN A SECOND OF ATTENTION FOR ME. THEY MIGHT THINK THAT THEY IMPORTANT BITCHES, BUT THEY ARE NOT.

I Am Way Too Fed Up Of Explaining The Basics Like This. But some of you seem to waste your life, and seem to try to waste my time and energy as well. These reminders are no joke, they are my FIXED HEALTHY BOUNDARIES. Respect them to earn respect. We are not dealing with losers now.

Which kind to choose between confusing personalities of males?? (Psychological perspective with layman’s language).

We may get confused between the real nature of people and end up with the wrong one. Here, what matters is how to recognise someone’s personality. This one is for the females who really need to learn the difference between ‘BAD BOY, GOOD MAN’ and ‘GOOD BOY, BAD MAN’.

The Bad Boy, Good Man is a man who will respect you, stay committed to you, will not let you down or try to destroy you emotionally or mentally. He may act errant and childish from time to time by teasing, irritating or fighting with you for no reason, but that’s about it. He will not do that to manipulate you or to feed his ego but only because he needs to learn better behaviour or that kind of childishness is in him by nature that makes a part of his core personality. There is nothing much wrong in that. To err is human. To be errant is a part of every single person’s personality. He is teachable. He will have his shit together or he will try his best for that. Even at his worst, he will not use others to make him whole.

The latter one-Good Boy, Bad Man is someone you need to keep a distance from or say goodbye to, as soon as you can. This kind of a man is cunning by nature but behaves like a good boy displaying very good behaviour or acts like he is teachable but only as long as you keep feeding him with your energy, your good behaviour, your time, affection and love. He makes you and everyone feel that there is nothing wrong with him. He is a very well-mannered person. But, it’s all a facade. He does that to hide his inner ‘bad man’s character. When you stop or even take a break from or be unable to feed him with what he and his ego desires, he will start manipulating you. He will not think twice before cheating. He won’t commit to you ever. He will stay present in your life but only to control you because his inner man’s nature is inherently evil. He will not hesitate from disrespecting you, that too, when you did not do that much of a blunder or were just being errant like a girl (bad girl, good woman nature), and to disrespect you he may even cheat upon you and put all the blame on your behaviour which was quite normal as ‘to err is human’ and will never take the responsibility or accountability of doing wrong(s) to you. He will mostly use others even as a friend but will act right only when every single thing is going on according to his desires, wishes, whims and caprices. This kind of a man’s nature is inherently evil but he will always act like a good boy/good man in front of others.

Though these are not the only categories. There are ‘bad boy, bad man’ and ‘good boy, good man’ as well. But those personalities are quite easily observable yet they are not easily found. The real confusion happens between the two described above. I hope this will help someone.

Law of attraction in summation.

You attract your own energy, nothing from the outside. If you do not know your worth, you attract people who consider you worthless. If you do not want something to work for you, you won’t get it. If you have some traits in your subconscious mind for a partner, every other kind of person will be repelled/removed from your life sooner or later. If you want to change yourself, you have to visualize that change in you. If you want to become something, you have to believe it in your whole being. That’s all law of attraction is. You attract your energy, your thoughts, your vibes, your aura to you.
Now, a few of you may think “I am a healer. Usually toxic people get attracted to me. I don’t think this is how law of attraction works. I never wanted that.”
My answer is your innate nature is that of a healer and toxic people need spiritual healing and your mind subconsciously desires somebody to heal, so, toxic people get attracted to you unknowingly. But you can save yourself by creating boundaries n by directing your energy to be more specific to heal yourself first or the innocent victims of toxic abusers or nobody at all particularly and by only teaching people how to heal themselves.

Boundaries with an ex are important.

I don’t know how people make it look otherwise but not creating a complete boundary with an ex who still has feelings for you is a disrespect to your current partner. Being friends with an ex is okay when both of you have ‘moved on’ in every sense of the phrase. ‘Been there, done that’. I blocked people completely from my life till they learned that they did not and could never have access to me like before no matter how much I loved them in the past. Boundaries are crucial. Do not play innocent whereas in reality playing with two; trying to get security from one in every sense and mental satisfaction from another. It never ends well.

Golden coating.

Skitting the fingers on the keyboard

Littering a few words designed into a hymn

Coating the vermin with the honey

Hell yeah! I know it’s your blogging time!