The worst thing you will do to yourself is to contain your power to soothe other people’s ego. Let them be petty. Let them be miserable. Let them be the complainant. Let them be foolish. Let them be toxic dramatic. Let them be the high-handed in their own world. You can kick their asses without even touching them, just by being yourself, and just by doing you with your whole energy speaking for you. You may think that those you love or loved will appreciate how much you shrink yourself to balm their insecurity and inferiority complexes, but they will not appreciate it. Some of them will say that they never asked you to do so. Some will blame you saying that you could choose different or better. The blame in the end goes to you. Some will say that you did not do enough for them, no matter how tough you were living for them, or they wanted different. How much can you shrink yourself for such thankless petty people?? Why would not you choose yourself rather than those ugly souls?? Hear me clear ! It’s okay to hurt people and be unkind to them if they expect you to contain yourself in a little box, frustrating yourself with all that energy wanting to expand yet trying to explode you in that little space. You do not deserve to explode when you are meant to expand, and trust me, you can expand beyond your own expectations, specially when people around you do not want you to see your worth.
I tell you one thing about kindness and why I cannot forgive Intentional Faults in behaviour. Mistake done once is okay to me, I do not even pay much heed to it and ignore it like nothing happened, but, if the same thing is done twice, then it’s a choice, and when you have made a choice to be a defaulter/culprit, you cannot be forgiven because your intention is to commit that act which offends my boundaries- psychological, social or physical.
In law, the culprit deserves and is punished after the conviction is proved. Apologies become meaningless after that because the damage has been done to the victim and the situation cannot be reverted back to its original position. Motives do not matter in convictions, the act done and the intention to do that act are enough to prove the commitment of the crime.
Anyone may say that they did something wrong to me because of this/that. Here, I rarely consider the WHYs because the first time, I can go into the ‘why’ of something done to me because I really want to understand the psychological reason behind it, but the second time the ‘why’ becomes useless and the apologies become meaningless, and thus, forgiving becomes almost impossible, as the second time it is someone’s choice to offend me and/or my boundaries.
I am describing this because many people don’t get it why I am so unforgiving. I apply law, science, and psychology in every single thing. People usually don’t get where I come from.
Also, if I am kind, it does not mean that I am and I have allowed anyone to be informal in interactions with me. Kindness and informal behaviour are completely two different things. I am usually kind and formal. Being informal with anyone takes me a lot of time and interactions. This is how I am since my very childhood. You can stay assured that I have been informal with, at most, about 5-6 people (apart from my family members) in my entire life. Kindly respect that as it’s one of my boundaries i.e. not being informal with anyone without a conscious decision on the part of both the parties i.e. me and the other person.
These two virtues are very core of my personality that others usually find confusing and difficult to understand or deal with, and I hope that many things are clear now.